All's Fair And Square In Emmas Dustbin!! (Walkers Ready Salted Square)

Member Name: Emma1973

Product:	Walkers Ready Salted Square
Date:	20/07/04 (878 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: For keeping the kids quiet, Useful as a bribery tool for the last lot

Disadvantages: Deadly weapons, Could have someone eye out if used as a frisbee

Lord above, I've got the munchies (not the little chocolate sweets either!). Only problem is my stomach ulcer is playing up to buggery, by which I mean its decided to grumble and be a bit painful, not in the other sense of buggery.
I'm not making any sense now am I? Shall I get back onto the subject?
When my stomach decides to have one of these moments food is not a huge priority, the though of a lot of it makes me feel sick, and eating a large meal would actually do that. So its nibbling that I have to do. I also find a lot of fruit does more bad than good, so I've actually got a reason to eat unhealthy things!

And what is there always lots of in my house? Crisps, loads of them, at least 20 packets of various varieties which at this present time includes Squares, Quavers and Wotsits, you may have noticed that there isn't a normal crisp shape in sight! I only ever buy them for my dips!.
But of course, the purpose of this review is Walkers Squares, yes squares? Who, in the name of God thought this would be a good idea?
"You, Jones, how can we make our crisps a little bit different?, not that potato shaped crisps that everybody else uses?"
"Well sir, how about making them long and thin?"
"You damned idiot, that's chips!"
"Yes sir, how about squares? Nobody else makes them square"
"Jones, you're a genius. Yes, squares, of course, this might just work............."

And that dear people is how I believe Square crisps were invented. This was, of course, in the era of Hedgehog crisps, which younger readers may not remember. Manufacturers did try to make us believe they did taste of real hedgehogs, unfortunately they then bought out Salt and Vinegar ones, and finally the public did realise there was no such thing as a salt and vinegar tasting hedgehog (not everyone I'm sure)

Jaysus, lets get back to the subject. Why did I buy th
em? Purely cos Asda didn't have any Frazzles in their special offer, and the kids will eat anything. Now I'm sat here, really fancying something to munch, and luckily enough for the Squares its them, ready salted to be precise.

Its a nice red packet with squares on it, and that's all I'm going to say about the thing, ah well I'll drop in that they apparently have 33% less fat than standard Walkers Crisps. If you want to know more about the packet go and take a look for yourselves.

Again the packet is only half full, but that tends to be standard with most crisps, I'm sure if they were full packed they would just explode or the crisps would be all crushed. Guess what? Yep, they are indeed square, they aint lying to us, I could of course pad out my op by telling you they are about 2 cm square, but I wont.

The glorious smell drifts out and assails my nostrils, like the sweet tang of nectar...........artistic license, forgive me! They smell of........nothing at all, nowt, nada, I don't know what I was expecting, I mean exactly what are ready salted crisps going to smell like? They are not like cheese and onion both of which are extremely strong smells in their own right. But for research purposes I'll stick my nose in the bag to see what I can smell. (see what I can smell?, Dear Lord...) And they smell of.....grease, yep, just grease and oil, bit like how your fingers smell after eating a bag of chips, not the most pleasant smell I have come across. Actually if I get a chance to smell them first I probably wouldn't put them near my mouth!

A crisp should always have a satisfying crunch, that's the whole point of them, and these little things do let you down slightly at this point. They are just too hard, rather like those chips you get at the bottom of the bag from the chippy. A crack rather than a crunch would be a more appropriate word here, not sure its safe on my poor dentures, or any gums if
you happen to get a really sharp bit.
The taste of course, well I'm glad to say they taste just like they smell, of grease, with the added bonus of a bit of salt. Now I can think of delicious things made with potatoes you have with salt, and that's chips. These are nothing like that, in fact I may have well just sprayed some Fry-light in me gob, then licked some salt afterwards. Same taste, and I wouldn't risk assault with a deadly crisp either.

I also think they've done something rather strange with them, I'm sure that they used to be made with single slices of potato, but no more. After I asked my partner the inevitable question ' I didn't know you could get square potatoes', after he had groaned he looked at the pack and noticed it was actually made of potato granules, not slices of potato. One can only presume therefore that they mix the granules up with the vegetable oil, splatter it flat, cut it into squares and then bake it. Yum, now that makes it sound all the more appealing don't you agree. This leads it to have a texture more like a Quaver than a crisp. But sadly, lacking that tingle on your tongue you get with Quavers, its more like a Quaver that's been left out for a very long time!

So as you can tell I am less than impressed with these things, certainly my mouth is not something they will be entering any time soon. I really could think of a lot better things to spend my 35p on. They are bland, greasy, smelly and oily, ( I was pondering on putting a pun about the Greek football team here, but I think some may find that offensive!).
I really cannot recommend highly enough that you leave these on the shelf and go looking for something else!

Somewhat important info:
Suitable for vegetarian
Suitable for coeliacs.

Per Pack

Energy 106kcal
Carbs 14.5g
Fat 4.8g
Sodium 0.3g

Summary: