Hello, hello, hello... (Yakult)

Member Name: The Operator

Product:	Yakult
Date:	11/12/03 (3226 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Apparently very very good for you

Disadvantages: Cost

We have more than a special relationship with guts in our house. Out of four, three sets of intestines are healthy, the other one exists, thanks to the affects of too many years smoking, in a drastically reduced form. In an effort to get us to keep hold of what we have and she now lacks, my sweet darling partner has suggested we all take steps to improve the general health of our bowels. To this end she has recommended, nay almost insisted, that we drink...stuff. Either pretty, white, sweet tasting er...stuff made by the French and flavoured with tasty berries and fruits of the field or little bottles of brown, sweet 'n' sour tasting milk product stuff, produced in a lab in Japan and flavoured with...the smell of living things.

I'm painting a pretty dour picture of life in the Operator household, aren't I. Sharon doesn't line us all up and administer live yoghurt colonic irrigation in a matronly-like manner although, it has to be said that a little bit of hospital discipline wouldn't go amiss around here. It isn't that bad here at all really and nor is the stuff.

My stuff of choice is the brown. You've all heard of Yakult, I'm sure. You've all seen the "Hello, hello hello" or the "sad bloke at dinner party pulls bird after displaying impressive gastro-intestinal related useless knowledge" (yep, slip her the old colonic zooflora line and you'll be staying for breakfast; works every time lads, eh?) adverts and probably not taken much notice of them. As is often the case though, the dafter the ad, the more intriguing the product; after all, the company must have faith in the integrity of the product for it to be able to withstand some gentle lampooning. So, what exactly is this product?

It's a fermented milk drink. Yoghurt? Mmm...could be but not definitely. In fact, the word "Yakult" is meant to be inspired by the Esperanto word for yoghurt. Rather quirkily
, the Esperanto word for yoghurt is "jogurt" or "jogurto" so, remembering that the company likes to poke some gentle fun at itself and also that it's Japanese in origin and you may velly well get their train of thought.

It was developed some 70 years ago by a Japanese doctor, Dr Minoru Shirota, who had a fascination with the gut. He believed that healthy intestines led to a long and healthy life and, although it's tempting to view him as a rather more inscrutable version of Dr John Harvey Kellog of cornflakes and "Road to Wellville" fame, his approach appeared more scientifically based. In 1930, after working for many years with the theory that maintaining the balance of the gut bacteria (which could be upset by illness and even by the recently discovered antibiotic medicines) would be beneficial, he isolated a strain of bacteria that was resistant to strong stomach acids and could pass through to the intestine unscathed. This bacteria he named Lactobacillus casei Shirota. In 1935, after developing a milk based drink for delivering the bacteria, he started to market it from his surgery. In 1955 the drink went national in Japan, finally arriving in this country in 1996. There is now a big factory in Holland making it for our bit of Europe.

In 1962 the company instigated a national delivery network consisting of "Yakult Ladies". There are now 52 000 of them delivering the stuff to homes and workplaces all over Japan. 52 000? Apparently so. A similar scheme is being fostered over here but, instead of employing just ladies, which would, of course be counter to the equal opportunity laws, the company is seeking the assistance of the traditional British milkman; sorry, milk delivery operative. Since everyone nowadays seems to want to waste money and petrol in transporting huge, usually unrecyclable plastic kegs of milk back from the supermarket every Saturday, our friendly milko doesn't have a lot l
eft to do so, big up to the chaps from Yakult for starting this initiative. I've been buying mine from Steve, our milkman, for about 6 months now and I don't begrudge him the extra penny he charges for the service. I think that's pretty reasonable as the price comparison is made with Morrison's which is already the cheapest supermarket in town.

So, what's Yakult like then? Contrary to all the jokey banter above, I actually find it rather nice. It is a touch sweet but also a lttle malty tasting which gives it a somewhat savoury edge. Not sure that sounds too good on second thoughts but it is a pretty unique taste, as you may well have guessed. How about fruity but with no relation to any known fruit? It's the colour and consistency of milky coffee therefore quite unlike any yoghurt I've seen so quite unappetising to look at but, as it comes in a tiny 65 ml bottle, just peel back the foil lid and neck it in one if you don't fancy dwelling on its appearance. You don't notice the colour if it don't touch the sides but as I said before, I do like it so I could quite easily drink a bottle twice the size. There is a "lite" version which those with not quite such a sweet tooth may find more to their taste. At 50 calories per serving, it's not going to turn you lardy either.

How does it feel now that I've got billions of so-called "friendly" bacteria swimming about in my gut? Can't say that there are any real major differences. I don't leap out of bed at 5.30 am after 20 minutes sleep but I do find that that little bottle first thing does feel rather refreshing; I'd feel very guilty about lining my gut with fried eggs, lard and black pudding after having swilled down a bottle. I do feel a little fitter but that may have something to do with giving up evil nasty killer fags. Those of a more genteel nature may wish to turn away now: I'm a bit more ahem, regular, than I us
ed to be and the consistency of my "doings", as my lovely old grandma used to call them, has definitely changed. I really don't need to go into great detail here but the Germans amongst you should now feel satisfied (the Germans have a national pre-occupation with examining their ordure, even to the point of having a little ledge in their lavvies for just such a purpose. Hint: when staying in a German household with one of these lavatories, be aware that the flush usually comes direct from the mains riser so it's at mains pressure. When flushing away your Richards*, close the lid. Work it out. Sorry, that really was rather more detail than was intended).

On balance, and balance is what the whole deal with Yakult is about after all, I do get the feeling it's doing me some good. Difficult to actually describe what kind of good it's doing but I know that when I've gone a few days without some, there is a palpable feeling of well-being upon resumption. Not very scientific I know but, then I'm not a scientist, I'm a consumer.

Ask your milkperson if they can supply. If your selfishness and greed has meant that you're no longer on a milkround then you'll just have to remember to put it on your shopping list. It comes in handy seven packs so there is no respite, even when you're planning the Sunday morning special cholesterol overdose. At around £2.50 for a week's supply, it's not a bad deal. For one person that is; if the whole family decides they want it then Yakult may well be shooting themselves in the foot if they don't hurry up and offer a family pack at reduced price. I've not seen them on sale individually either, only in the seven packs so, if after the first couple you find you don't like it, it is rather a waste.

So what about my other half's drive to be the family with the healthiest innards in South Cheshire? Um, seems I'm the only one with the guts (oh
dear) to continue with the experiment. One had a brief flirtation with the pretentious (but marginally cheaper) French stuff and another resists all attempts. I'd be interested to see what effect it has on Sharon though. As she only has about two feet of intestine left, we're not even sure she has an indigenous population of friendly bacteria to start with. Could be intriguing.

Visit www.yakult.co.uk for loads more info.

*Richard the Thirds: Figure it out.

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