Periodically, I have a wee look through the selection of perfumes on offer at cheapsmells.com and I buy a few. They all cost less than £15 each and my reckoning is that most will be perfectly serviceable for everyday/work wear, one or two might be hidden gems and one or two will be absolutely vile. Diesel Green is very firmly in that last camp.


~*~Packaging~*~

I'm a sucker for a gimmick and the reason I went for this was because the bottle has been shaped to look like one of those old-fashioned oil cans, which I thought was quite funky. I've since realised that it's no coincidence that all my favourite perfumes are housed in class, understated-but-beautiful bottles; if the perfume on the inside is really good, then the bottle shouldn't need to be tricked around with too much. As if to hammer that point home, the spray mechanism on this is dire. It feels cheap and flimsy and I have no hope that it would last beyond a couple of weeks (which, when you read on, you'll discover is by no means a bad thing). The spray itself is awful; some of the liquid will be far too finely dispersed and go everywhere except where you want it to, and the rest just kind of squirts and dribbles down your hand.


~*~Top notes~*~

In theory, I should have loved this as the top notes include ginger and lime, both of which are scents that I really love. The reality is that the first whiff of this is so unpleasant that it's almost medicinal; it smells like something you'd spray on an open wound to ward off gangrene. The blast of alcohol is enough to make you squint and cough if you're too close to it. The lime comes in straight behind it but it's horribly artificial and nasty, like a cheap air freshener. The ginger is very much subdued by these two scents and I could barely detect it.


~*~Middle notes~*~

Once again, what Diesel say and what I smell are two VERY different things. Apparently, there is orange blossom, orris, carnation rose, cinnamon and jasmine in there. To my untrained nose, this is an odd blend of scents. Carnations have a light and green scent. Roses are heady and memorable. Jasmine is heavy and sweet. Put together, you'd assume that the rose and jasmine would batter the hell out of the carnation before slugging it out with each other. And that's before you include orange blossom and cinnamon. The result of this conglomeration is horrible: it's a really confused fragrance with such a blend of competing scents that's hard to pick out any one note. Nothing seems to work in harmony and it's very headache-inducing. If I really concentrate, I get a whiff of jasmine with an undertow of cinnamon but there's still a hint of the lime from the start and it really doesn't blend together well. Behind all of the confusion there's a really horrid, powdery alcohol thing going on - think Tesco value vodka mixed with cheap face powder.


~*~Base notes~*~

After 4-5 hours of wear this is, thankfully, on the way out. That's not great longevity but I dislike this perfume so much that I'm actually pretty glad to see the back of it. Mind you, it still has to get its parting shot in, which turns out to be a great big wallop of cedar. Now, I quite like woody scents but this is so overdone that it's like having your head shoved in a freshly built cedar cabinet while someone sprays The Body Shop's 'White Musk' in your face and shoves a vial of sandalwood oil up your nose. It's so strident that I really couldn't detect the amber and vanilla that Diesel promise are there.

It's rare that I can't find something of merit in a fragrance, but this one is just horrid. It's like being mugged by a perfume. The first time I wore it I disliked it so much that I made myself late for work by having another shower just to get rid of it. It's cheap, inexpertly blended and there's just far too much going on with some elements that should never have been brought together.

Avoid it like the plague, or you'll end up smelling like one.