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Elmo's ABCs (GB)
by Dentolux Elmo's ABCs is an educational video game released for the Gameboy Colour. This edutainment title came out in America back in March 1999 and was brought over to Europe two years later... trust me it was not worth the wait. As the game's title and box art suggests the game stars Elmo the popular red Sesame Street puppet. I personally don't ... see what his appeal is. Elmo comes across as an annoying children's character much like Barney the Dinosaur. Give me Bert & Ernie, the Cookie Monster or Count von Count any day. The game starts with Elmo entering a theme park. Rather than enjoy the rides or munch on some candy floss (no need to worry about rotting your teeth as he doesn't have any) our fuzzy pal decides to somersault into a nearby tent. From there he tries to teach kids about letters using his juggling skills and a number of colourful balls each with a different letter printed on them. There are a number of mini games available to play, but they all boil down to the same thing. Watch the gormless Elmo juggle and press a button when the ball with the letter you need to pick reaches the bottom of the screen. From the game's title I figured that Elmo would be teaching kids the alphabet, but none of the games on offer do that. Most of the mini games merely consist of showing the player a letter and then asking the hapless chump, who got this as a gift, to press the A button when the corresponding ball gets juggled to the correct position. The more complex games show you basic words which you spell out using the same button pushing mechanic. The only min-games which require any degree of intelligence are the ones which show you a word with a letter missing. Instead of just matching what you are shown you actually have to think which of the juggled letters fits the blank to create a valid word. I may not be the game's target audience (although some people would say I am more immature than the average toddler) but I can tell that this title has no educational value whatsoever. If a child is smart enough to use a Gameboy they are hardly going to be challenged by tasks provided. Games like these are supposed to teach you something by making learning fun instead of a chore, unfortunately the gameplay is so poor that most youngsters would prefer going to a classroom over giving this a go. It's frustrating having to wait for the ball you need to get juggled down as everything moves so slowly. It would have been nice to have the option to speed up the ball rotation by using the d-pad, but I guess the developers felt that controls that ask you to use more than one button is too demanding for kiddies. The quality of the presentation is horrendous. The in game music is painful to listen to and loops over and over driving you insane, much like listening to Elmo speak for more than a few minutes. The graphics are drawn well and are colourful, utilising the GBC's palette to its maximum effect, but the animation is terrible. Cut scenes move at a laughable one frame per second and don't get me started on the unconvincing "juggling." It is hard to describe, but it looks like Elmo is flailing his arms in the air performing a satanic ritual to summon some invisible demon that is making the balls spin around in mid air. Kids might be willing to endure the tedious games if they get a worthwhile reward for their efforts, but alas you get nothing. Completing the mini-games shows Elmo playing one of those test of strength games. I'm impressed that he can swing the mallet hard enough to ring the bell given his scrawny arms. The sad thing is that it doesn't matter which of the games you complete, they all show the same clip of Elmo playing the test of strength. Couldn't they have at least made different cut scenes for each game showing Elmo doing different things at the fair? Talk about lazy programming. Test of strength? This game is a test of patience. Needless to say I do not recommend Elmo's ABCs to anyone. Prior to writing this review I thought I would read up on what some owners of the cartridge thought of it. My favourite comment on the product, taken from Amazon, came from a lady who claimed that her daughter would scream and smash the Gameboy on the floor whenever she suggested giving the game a go. I can certainly empathise with the child's sentiments as I felt the exact same way whilst playing it. Wow so this is what my life has come down to. Playing terrible games to earn a few crummy points to qualify for an Amazon voucher. I need a cookie to cheer up, but I fear that Elmo's blue monster pal has eaten them all. Read the complete review |
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Castlevania Legends (GB)
by Dentolux Castlevania Legends is the last of the three Gameboy releases based on Konami's iconic vampire hunter series. The general consensus is that it is inferior to Castlevania 2: Belmont's Revenge, which preceded it, but better than the ill received Castlevania: The Adventure. I have to say that I have enjoyed the newer Castlevania games on ... the Gameboy Advance and DS, which blend RPG elements with Metroid style exploration, but I don't have much experience with the older games. With the aim of addressing that deficiency in my retro gaming knowledge I decided to give Legends a go. Perhaps I should have started my 8 bit Castlevania journey with the highly rated original on the NES, but Legends sports a busty lass on the cover which I cannot resist. Let us see if the game is up to much or if once again I have been suckered in by a pretty face. STORY It is the year 1450 and Count Dracula is up to no good. Stepping up to free Transylvania from the blood sucker's tyranny is seventeen year old Sonia Belmont armed with a dominatrix style whip (how kinky.) Players guide the teenage vampire huntress through five horror themed levels set in various parts of the Count's castle (such as the castle gates, clock tower, garden shed... okay I made that last one up.) There's not much to the plot as all we get is a brief intro when the cartridge boots up, a short ending upon completion of the last level and some dialogue in the latter boss fights (which hint at a romance between Sonia and Dracula's son Alucard.) Legends' claim to fame is that it was supposed to be the first Belmont/Dracula showdown in the Castlevania timeline, but it has since been removed from the series canon as it clashes with the story set up in the newer games. Poor Sonia, she saves the world and gets no credit as Konami erased her tale from the history books. PRESENTATION Graphically Legends is comparable to the Nintendo Castlevania games although it looks slightly uglier due to the Gameboy's small screen and lack of colour. I wasn't too impressed by Sonia's in game appearance as it looks like Simon Belmont in drag. You have Simon's sprite, from Castlevania 2, modified ever so slightly to resemble a girl (the slightest hint of boobs and a thin line passes for long hair.) Another weak area in the visuals are the poor backgrounds which often consist of a blank wall with a few bricks dotted here and there. Despite the lack of detail the game stutters when too many enemies appear on screen which is annoying. The quality of the soundtrack varies from level to level. It seems like they pieced the audio together by taking music from other Castlevania releases. Upon starting the game I recognised the catchy Bloody Tears from Castlevania 2 which was a treat as was the tune that plays during boss fights. It's not all good though. The gothic ditty that plays in level five may suit the tone of the game, but I didn't like it. It's a score that may sound good with real instruments, but the 8 bit rendition we got was painful to listen to. The repetitive chords started to make my ears bleed which may have been the Count's idea all along. Why risk chipping a fang via neck biting when you can get a fountain of plasma flowing out of a victim's lobes. GAMEPLAY Unlike the newer Castlevanias which are set in one big world, Sonia's quest is broken down into bite sized levels. Just as well as the game doesn't have a save feature, but thankfully you are provided with passwords upon finishing the stage you are on. Although you sometimes get forks in the road, which may lead to hidden areas or dead ends, the game is fairly linear. Sonia power walks (very slowly) from the starting location towards the level's exit which is guarded by a boss. The game mixes platforming with combat so to succeed you will have to jump over hazards, climb ropes and fend off the creatures lurking in the castle. As you wreck havoc in Dracula's fortress you are encouraged to smash any candles you come across (I'm sure the candle reviewers on this site wouldn't approve of that.) Why destroy a light source in a dimly lit castle you may wonder? The answer is that doing so reveals whip upgrades, health restoring food and hearts which power Sonia's magic spells. Grabbing one power-up beefs up your whip's range and strength whilst nabbing a second gives the whip the ability to shoot fireballs every time you swish it. Given that touching enemies depletes your health this is a very handy upgrade as it allows you to dispatch monsters from a safe distance. You may be wondering what heart fuelled magic Sonia can cast (she isn't grabbing those things due to a lack of organ donors after all.) Well the array of spells includes the ability to freeze enemies in place for a short period of time, replenish your health and damage everything on screen. Completing a level rewards you with a new magic ability which is selectable by erm pressing the select button. Sonia has also mastered a technique dubbed "burning mode" which once activated increases her movement speed and makes her invincible for a few seconds. You are restricted to using it once per life or level so it is best to save it for tricky sections or boss fights. OVERALL So what did I think of Castlevania Legends? It was alright, but from the Castlevania games I have played it is one of the weaker instalments in the series. I liked it enough to complete it, but it wasn't a terribly exciting experience. Sonia's slow walking speed coupled with stutter when the action heats up made certain bits a chore to play through. If I could award half a star I would give this two and a half stars, but as I can't I'll round up to a low three stars. Castlevania fans will get some enjoyment out of it, providing they can find a cheap copy, but anyone else probably shouldn't go out of their way to snag a copy. Although the game isn't a cake walk, it isn't fiendishly difficult like other Castlevania titles. You get passwords and a good number of check points in each level so you don't have to back track much when you lose a life. I did however get a tad frustrated when fighting Dracula as I needed a few goes to put the fiend down. Every time I perished I was made to fight through a few screens for a rematch rather than getting placed outside of the Count's lair. The rooms you had to fight through weren't that tough, but it felt like a waste of time having to travel through them all over again just because Dracula beat me with a lucky shot (yeah it was a fluke, nothing to do with me sucking at avoiding his attacks honest.) Speaking of boss fights, the encounters at the end of each level weren't as thrilling as they should have been. The bosses repeat the exact same attack pattern over and over so once you memorize the moves it isn't too tough to beat them (even if you don't abuse the Burning Mode feature.) It feels like the developers didn't put much effort into designing the end of level guardians which is something that applies to the game as a whole. It's mediocre, lacking original ideas and suffers from a few programming issues. On the vampire coolness scale I would say that Legends is less From Dusk Till Dawn and more Twilight. Aaaarh the sparkling burns my eyes. Read the complete review |
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Mega Man 2 (GB)
by Dentolux Megaman (also known as Rockman in Japan) is one of Capcom's most well known video game characters. His games are so popular that to this day they are still making sequels in the style of his NES adventures to download on the virtual console. The franchise is alive and well selling loads of units via spin offs such as Megaman X, Megaman ... Zero and Megaman Battle Network. Given how well liked the Blue Bomber is it's odd that he was omitted from the roster of characters in the recent Marvel vs Capcom 3. Perhaps they are planning to release him via downloadable content to make some extra cash (boo hiss.) As I never owned a Nintendo console my first experience with a Megaman game was Megaman 2 on the Gameboy. As with most Megaman adventures our robotic hero has to save the world by foiling the latest scheme of his nemesis the evil Dr Wily. According to the manual Wily has stolen a time machine from the Chronos institute and travelled 37.426 years into the future (wow talk about an accurate figure.) Apparently Wily has returned to present day with a future version of Megaman named Quint. The villainous doctor has reprogrammed Quint with the aims of defeating our hero. This all means that Megaman has to head off to Wily's fortress and put a stop to the madman's time travel plans of conquest. Along the way he will have to defeat eight robot masters that Wily has rebuilt. Now I may not be a scientific genius like Wily, but doesn't his plan sound really dumb? Why has he rebuilt robot masters that Megaman has beaten in the past? It's unlikely that they will fare better this time round. Also if he has a time machine why travel to the future? He could have gone to the past and destroyed Megaman whilst he was being built. Heck if Wily cannot beat Megaman how did he manage to capture and reprogram a future version of Megaman to do his bidding? Ouch my brain hurts. Okay let's us not dwell on the plot, which has never been one of Megaman's strong points, and examine the game play. Like with most Megaman games what we have here is a side scrolling platformer. You make your way through a level jumping on platforms, avoiding deadly spikes and blasting enemies who get in your way. The controls are pretty simple. The d-pad allows you to walk left and right as well as climbing up and down ladders. One button fires Megaman's buster weapon and the other makes him jump. If you hold down and press the jump button Megaman performs a baseball slide which can get him under narrow passages. When the game begins you are given a choice of tackling the opening four levels in whatever order you like. Once you beat them you get to tackle another four stages before moving onto Wily's fortress where you face Quint and Wily himself. Megaman fans will notice that the bosses and levels from this game are taken from Megaman 2 and Megaman 3 on the NES. Although I would have preferred to have an original game it is neat to get a mixture of levels from two NES titles as opposed to a direct port of Megaman 2. The thing Megaman is known for is for using the weapons of the bosses he beats. When you complete a stage you'll get the downed robot master's weapon to use which can be a big help when facing future enemies. Using Metalman's buzz saw weapon for example chops up Woodman is mere seconds. All this means that if you are having trouble with a certain boss you can always tackle another level, get a different weapon and return to see if that makes things any easier. Be aware that unlike Megaman's buster the weapons you get from bosses do not have infinite bullets and should therefore be used sparingly. Thankfully regular enemies you beat sometimes drop powerups which recharge the weapons. Dogs are man's best friend and Rush is Megaman's best friend. The robotic canine can help our hero in his adventure with the modules you get when finishing certain levels. Once acquired Megaman can use the modules to summon his transforming doggie. Rush can for example be called down to act as a trampoline which Megaman can bounce off to reach out of reach areas. Jumping on a pooch? PETA better not hear of this! Rush can also transform into a submarine which allows Megaman to travel underwater in certain areas or into a jet which can fly for a limited period of time (which I found handy for bypassing annoying areas with vanishing platforms.) Megaman games are known for being a little tough, but this one isn't too bad. Initially you may have trouble getting through the levels, but after a few goes you start to memorize what is coming and adapt to avoid taking damage. As you make your way through the game you will find energy tanks that replenish your health which will make things even easier. I found the last boss to be pretty tough, but by using the tanks I had acquired I was able to outlast him in our final epic duel. If all else fails and you get a game over, don't worry you don't have to start from scratch. Megaman 2 uses a password feature that allows you to carry on from where you left off. Graphically this Gameboy outing looks just as good as the NES games staring Megaman. The backgrounds are however lacking in detail which is especially noticeable as the handheld doesn't have a colour palette to help disguise the lacklustre backdrops. Another gripe I had with the visuals was that there was some sprite flicker in parts. Sonics wise the sound effects you hear when Megaman jumps or shoots are pretty poor. The music however was pretty good. The tunes that play during some of the levels and main menu are pretty catchy for fans of retro gaming. I'm giving Megaman 2 a solid three stars out of five. For me it was a good introduction to the series. Anyone who just plays games at home would be better off getting Megaman 2 and 3 on the NES, but back in the day this title was good to have in your collection as it would allow you to play Megaman on the go. It certainly made long drives on family holidays pass much quicker. My mum would moan that I was missing out on the lovely scenery, but I didn't care. Although I'm sure the sights were picturesque I was too busy saving the world to admire them. Read the complete review |
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