One fat horseman of the green plastic bottle (Scotts Roundup Weedkiller)

Member Name: dave27

Product:	Scotts Roundup Weedkiller
Date:	04/06/01 (1517 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Kills things, Harms pets and interfering kids, Keeps the neighbours away

Disadvantages: Green plastic is so last year

Weedkilling, eh? Have we come to this finally, the grim and very slippery slope into middle age has got me - when you write about weedkilling you know it's only a short step to slippers and hairs in your nose and ears.

Ah well, at least dementia and absent mindedness are about to set in too, so I will easily forget about the doom awaiting ... ermm, what was I talking about, pastry? Oh yes, weedkilling, I'm glad you asked me that one.

Now there are two schools of thought on this one - mine and everyone who agrees with me, and them losers who have a different view.

Let's start with the losers first, or they'll just whinge that I haven't given them equal air time, just like Little Willie Hague will be doing on Election night.

There are an awful lot of sad, misguided people around who would kill themselves before they use anything 'unnatural' on their gardens - they say it upsets the natural balance and will swiftly send us spinning into the darkest of oblivions and we'll all catch scurvy.

Well, my answer to those do gooders out there amongst you is simple and well founded in fact. You're wrong and you must be mad - that should convince anyone!

Okay, what is the answer, I hear you asking, oh great and all knowing fount of all wisdom.

Well. it's surprisingly simple, I think you'll find - YOU GO DOWN TO A GARDEN CENTRE AND BUY THE BIGGEST BOTTLE OF VERY VIOLENT AND POISONOUS WEED KILLER YOU CAN FIND AND CHUCK IT ALL OVER YOUR GARDEN.

Don't listen to those sad misguided idiots who tell you it will kill all the birds/insects/pets that come and visit - what they don't realise is that we, the saner people around today, don't give a tinker's cuss (see, Mrs dave27, I can control myself, you old *****!)

Yeah, whingeing gits like you should be severely locked up and made to watch The King And I over and over again until you come to
your senses - gardens are for people not creatures and anyone messing about in my castle deserves everything they get.

There are a load of excellent weedkillers around - and slug pellets too. You don't need advice - just pick up the first box or bottle on the left -if it says dangerous to animals, then so much the better! If the salesman gives you any gip, tell him dave27 sent you and warn him that you know Mrs dave27 and that she's outside - watch him turn to a shivering, cowardly wreck!

As for the subject of my little opinion, Scotts Roundup? Well, I've used it an awful lot and it is very effective - it smells pretty dire and you do need to wash your hands after using it - it doesn't matter how little I think of animals or children, I love myself and will not do harm to myself - who would Mrs dave27 have to nag?

You can use the spray straight from the bottle and it does a grand old job - the other neat trick is to save the old bottle, then when you buy Mrs dave27 (I'm being metaphorical here, buy your own Missus the thing) a new bottle for a present, you can split the contents between the bottles, water them both down and hey presto! Two for the price of one.

No, I'm joking of course, I don't buy weedkiller for Mrs D, it has to be slug pellets.

Whatever the weather this weekend, enjoy yourself and good weedkilling!!

Summary: