Brothers held in weed death probe! (Scotts Roundup Weedkiller)

Member Name: jimblob

Product:	Scotts Roundup Weedkiller
Date:	07/05/04 (2495 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Easy to use, Treated areas safe for kids and animals, Small amount covers reasonable area

Disadvantages: Can take up to 2 or 3 weeks for effects to show

Co-accused deny murder!

Bill and Ben, otherwise known as ?The flower pot men?, both denied having anything to do with the killing of Weeeeeeed.

They were both apprehended last night after the grisly remains of little Weeeed were found in the garden, Police refuse to reveal just how little Weeeeed met her demise but our reporter was told that she was found ?all shrivelled up and limp and had a nasty brown hue where once she was radiant in green?
Weeeeed?s death has come as a shock to all who knew her, she has had many attempts on her life over the years but has always pulled through, even when she was almost beheaded by a wayward strimmer she was soon back to her old self. Last year she overcame poisoning, uprooting and even when she was badly burned by a garden blow torch she was soon on the mend and had no scarring to show for her ordeal.

A post mortem has been carried out by Dr Hogweed and the findings are sending shockwaves throughout the weed population.

?We found an alarmingly high level of Glyphosate in her sap? he said ?I am almost positive that she met her death by the deliberate introduction of ?Roundup?, and if this is the case then no weed in the garden is safe!?

This devastating news has caused unseen panic among all the weeds in the garden, with many of them packing up and leaving before another dry day starts.

The Horsetail and Ground Elder families of weeds have a one time immunity, something to do with their stubborn makeup, but if they were attacked more than once with Roundup they too would succumb to this horrible death and so, with much grumping and moaning, they have decided to uproot and move to gardens new too.

Whole clans of Dandelions, Docks, Bindweed, Nettles and Thistles are now on the move, Gardens all over the area are in a state of alert and
many weeds think that nowhere is safe now except the great expanse of the farmland.

Glyphosate is the main ingredient in R
oundup and for many years now has been the most prolific killer of most common garden weeds, police have confirmed that Bill and Ben were seen in their local Homebase a few days before Weeeeed was found dead, Homebase sell Roundup with impunity to garden owners, especially those who have children and small animals like dogs and cats, after Roundup has been sprayed around the garden it is perfectly safe for children and their pets to play there, Roundup only seems to affect poor defenceless weeds and is biodegradable. Once it comes into contact with soil it is inactivated and broken down, but woe betide the poor weed who gets a drenching, once soaked they only have a week or so to put their house in order, make a will and say goodbye to their loved ones, death by Roundup is a slow and painful one!
Just 20ml mixed with a 5ltr watering can of water can cover an area of 20 square metres of a weeds neighbourhood.
Bill and Ben had apparently saved up for years to commit this atrocious crime, a small bottle of Roundup retails for around £15 but even that is enough to wipe out an entire garden of weeds many times over!

The flowerpot men released their own statement through their solicitor.

Ben said ?Fluba-dub it wisnae me!? whilst Bill retorted ?oooh fubdub-adub-a-dub we wur framed!?

They were remanded in custody and thrown into the potting shed until police could ascertain just how many more victims there may be in the coming days.

Weeeed will be laid to rest on the compost heap as soon as the rain stops, no flowers please and only close friends and family are invited.

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