Bugger it, I wanna be bald! (Fructis Fortifying Shampoo Frequent Use - Normal Hair)

Member Name: idodoyou

Product:	Fructis Fortifying Shampoo Frequent Use - Normal Hair
Date:	07/04/02 (360 review reads)
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Y?see, my hair is the bane of my life.
It has a life, and mind, and a will of its own. And more often or not, it chooses to do just as it pleases, and no amount of teasing and titillating, cajoling or conditioning, or back combing and brushing will make it do otherwise. It also has a tendency to look and feel slightly greasy the day after washing it.

I try. I do. But to no avail. It always looks a mess. My life is a continuos round of bad hair days.

For years now, I've been worth it! As a dedicated user of L'Oreal Elvive I've been more than happy with the washing process, and the cleanliness of my barnett, if not the end result. I mean, it ain't L'Oreal's fault that I have the spawn of the devil living in the roots, the follicles and the tips of my head curtain is it?

But just recently I ran out. Y'see, I had stocked up while they were on a BOGOF offer, and just used to going to a drawer and plucking another bottle from the cacophony of other weird and wonderful lotions and potions that I hoard, had left me empty handed.

Well, I got to thinking. And felt that a change was in order.

So it was in to my local Boots that I wandered one bright and sunny day. With money in my pocket. Or rather credit on my card. A song in my heart. And a mission ahead. I'm a simple soul.

Normally, when I head 'Bootwards' I dawdle, browse and fill my basket full of all manner of goodies. Bottles of this, and bottle of that. And more often or not things that just smell nice and but will never get used. But this time. This time I had a mission [Mission Shampooable if you will ... Sorry]

There was no dawdling .... unlike this op I can hear various members cry [Ok, ok I'm getting there .... ] as I picked my head up, thrust my ample chest out, and tossed people aside like old socks in my bid to get to the Hair Care aisle. How dare they shop there too?

As I rounded the cor
ner it hit me. Not literally you understand. I'm speaking metaphorically and artistically. A lime green haze had bathed the end of the aisle with it's alien like glow. It was enticing. Alluring. It pulled me closer. All thoughts of using my feet myself disappeared as I was dragged, and not at all protesting about it, closer and closer.

It was a simple affair. A 6 foot high piece of green cardboard. Hardly revolutionary in the world of advertising. There were no naked 6 packed male bodies to feast my eyes upon. Oh no, there was something better than that. The words, the immortal words that induce all bargain hunters to quivering wrecks of jelly leapt from the board ....

99p. 99p. 99p. 99p. [Put your card away. kill the limit another day!]

My mouth dropped unattractively open as I my arms spread wide and I scooped the top layer from its shelf and loaded my basket high.

This, this is what I'd come for.

Ok, so I'm lying. Mouth didn't drop open, and I didn't scoop. But I did wander closer to have a gander.

Y'see, by my way of thinking, if I'm having a change, what better way to have a change than on the cheap. I mean, if its crapola and I don't like it, what have I wasted. 99 pennies thas' all.

There was a whole variety and types of shampoo and conditioners to cater for all kinds of hair. There normally is though isn't there? However, as my eyes scanned the top shelf, they fell upon the words that I have never seen uttered on a shampoo label before. I was intrigued. I moved closer.

On the 19cm high bright green bottle [or bottles ... I did an Oliver and went back for more!] that now adorns my shelf, the 6 words that reeled me in to buying this product smile at me every time I walk past.

... Normal Hair that gets greasy quickly ...

Y'see, cos my hair is disobedient and does nothing I tell it to, I hate having anything to do with it. O
f course, I wash it. And until this bottle of miracle that sits upon my desk in order for me to fill you will all necessary facts, I had to do it every day. Don't get me wrong. It was never a grease pit. I am clean y'know?

But it needed to be done every day in order to try and restore some sort of style.

Not now. Oh no siree.

The bottle tells me that Fructis Fresh frees the scalp and the hair of the impurities in a wave of freshness. It says that your hair will stay looking and feeling clean. It will feel stronger, fresher for longer.

And it does. All of those things. The bottle doesn't lie. And so many of them do you know?

Apparently, and I can only go by what the bottle tells me, the shampoo contains Fruit Acids, Vitamins B3 and B6, Fructose and Glucose, which are all natural ingredients in fruit.

The bottle says [chatty little fellow isn't he?] that it [the shampoo] nourishes the hair from the roots. It works inside the hair fibre to strengthen it. It smoothes the hair to the tip. And that application after application, my hair, or yours if you choose to heed my words of advice, is made stronger.

Oh, and of course, the bottle also gives me a list of ingredients, instructions on use, and a phone number to ring for 'Expert Advice'.

Now, you know how to use shampoo. I ain't gonna bother with instructions. You wouldn't have any idea what the hell I'm talking about if I were to list the ingredients. I ain't gonna bother with an ingredient list. And the number will follow after the show, so .....

What did I think?

Firstly, and probably the second reason why this bottle came home with me, the SMELL. It is gorgeous. Any fear of sounding like Jilly Goolden isn't going to stop me from using the phrase 'a whoosh of appetising, fresh, fruity smells penetrates your nostrils in such a way that your eyes water with gratitude at having b
een given the chance of smelling something so delectable'. I kid you not. Of course, looking down the list of ingredients for any sign of a fruit, or vegetable, I don't hit upon many. I hit upon one. Citric this, that, and two other citrus related items. Don't be thinking that Lemon is all you'll sniff though. It isn't. It's there, but it isn't the main pong. As I type I have my snout pressed up again the spout, and think I can detect a touch of coconut? Honey blossom. And orange. And, I think a hint of apple? It's a sweet but fresh and revitalising all rolled into one kinda whiff. This has to be sniffed to be believed, believe me.

The CONSISTENCY and COLOUR is pretty much like any other shampoo. It's gooey. And has a silky texture, as well as a white pearly creamy silky appearance. You don't need a lot of this shampoo either. While it doesn't give any 'amount to be applied' instructions, I can tell you that a splodge the size of a 10p is more than enough for the average sized head that has the average amount of hair on it. I have short hair [not dead cropped or anything and the 10p sized splodge aforementioned lathers up lovely when using it on my bonce!]

One thing I have noticed with this *poo* is the feeling and texture of my hair when newly washed. We are talking clean. Very clean, and yet, there's no squeak to it [which apparently is a bad thing anyway. If it squeaks it means that your hair has lost its natural oils during washing, and you don't want to do that!]
And it feels so soft. And manageable. It actually looks, and behaves better wet than it does dry.

I don't even have to use the conditioner [same make, same type] every time.

Did the 48 HOUR FRESHNESS thing work?

In a nutshell ..... Yes!
Well, 36 hours later its still going strong anyway .....

At time of writing [Sunday a.m.] the last time I washed my hair was a day and a hal
f ago [Friday afternoon] and here I sit, hot to trot. Ok, so the hair is somewhat unruly, but as I haven't combed it yet, that's no surprise. But it looks and feels clean. I have tried pulling on a strand to see if it still smells. But its short, it won't reach my nose, and only makes my eyes water on pulling. But in order to reach the parts that some ops don't I shall ask for a sniff opinion ....

idodoyou : [yells] Ma, come 'ere ...

Faltered footsteps are heard drawing ever closer ....

Ma : Yes luv?
idodoyou : Smell my hair, tell me what ya whiff?
Ma : Why what have you done?
idodoyou : Nothing, just smell it. Let me know what you think? I'm making ya famous again. Your immortal words are to be recorded amidst the pages of Dooyoo.
Ma : Oh god, don't you have anything better to do? Gimme your head then ....

As head of idodoyou is yanked sideways and thrust under the snout of Mother idodoyou ...

Ma : Lovely dear. Faintly citrusy. There's no unwashed smell at all. Can I go now ..?
idodoyou : C'mon, humour me. Just how lovely? Can you smell coconut? Apples? Honey Blossom? Describe those smells as they permeate your nostrils.
Ma : Oh god ...... Where did I go wrong?

Ok, so my mother is a women of few words. But she says what she means. If my hair was smelling of anything other than the 'citrusy' smells she so poetically described, you'd know about it. I'd have written it down. As it is, 36 hours down the line and the hair looking hot to trot and smelling of lemon. Bring on the men!!! ;)

Now, cos the *poo* has worked wonders with my tat, I'm not saying it will do anything with yours. It might, and it might not. But c'mon, what have you go to lose hey? Get ya butts down to Boots and buy a bottle.

If the devil has had an input with the creation of your hair, the god guys of Garnier might just have won this war?? r><br>
For 'Expert' Hair Care advice call:
UK ~ 0845 399 0104
EIRE ~ 1850 604 104

If you wanna drop em a line ....

Garnier Paris

Or

Garnier
London
W6 8AZ.

Or if you wanna drop me a line ....

lisa@asil.freeserve.co.uk

I don't know much about hair mind you, but my inbox is always open [unless its closed that is!]

Oh and yes ... I know I waffle on and its too long ....