I wasted a small fortune in the mid 1990s on a series of baldness treatments which used Minoxidil as a main ingredient (now packaged as Regain).

Not that I was bald then, but had an horrific experience in Lillywhites (the sports shop in Picadilly Circus, London).

As a young man one is slightly hurt by ones friends joking about receding hairlines etc. but usually manage to ignore it as playful banter.

This changed when I had a summer holiday job in the Ocean Leisure department of Lillywhites in the then newly refurbished "ball-room" - a hang back to when Lillywhites had been a hotel which held balls and dances. The entrance to the area was down a flight of stairs into a huge room with a 20' ornate ceiling crowned with a glazed dome. This room had an enormous mirror at the far end where one could see the entire goings on at a glance including what you looked like as you made your entrance. (alas the store has destroyed this area by inserting a mezzanine floor to get extra trading space.)

Many times a day going up and down these stairs I would be confronted by a huge reflection of myself in the mirror opposite, brilliantly lit up by the sales lights that most department stores have.

And lo one day after such jibes by friends - I noticed that I could see my skin through my hair in the reflection. This grew into a fixation over the weeks until I had convinced myself that combined with a receding hairline I was going bald.

In the staff room was a copy of the Evening Standard with a large advert from a special clinic in Wigmore Street (behind the M&S store on Oxford Street). They assured readers of a free consultation and a revolutionary product still at trial stage.

"Cant be bad" me thinks and book a free consultation. By the time this ordeal was over I was under the impression that unless I signed up to their series of treatments I wouldn't last into adulthood with my hair inta
ct. This plus the daily torture of looking at my balding head in a vast mirror convinced me to sign up to an expensive series of treatments.

These involved a weekly session where after a wash and massage with a sticky fluid, thick paste of pink stuff was spread all over my head an I was left with my head in a steamer for half an hour or so to infuse. Then I was sent home with some bottles of a concentrated mixture of Minoxidil which required a twice daily application massaging the folicles generally.

Due to the trial nature of this potion at the time, this treatment required a monthly medical to ensure my heart rate wasnt increasing etc.

Minoxidyl was originally developed (I believe) to assist with a heart condition and found to have other potential properties.

After a couple of months the photo record of my hair seemed to show that it was growing back. A fine layer of "bum fluff" had appeared on the receding bits and the top of my head was less visible in the Lillywhites' mirror of vanity.

Yippee - I'm cured I thought and with gusto signed up to a further course of treatments. What a mug !!

The impression of thicker hair on the top of my head was probably due to the fact that hair grows and over the course of my photo records was just longer so appearing to be less bald. The bum fluff I cant explain, maybee due to the weekly steaming with the pink stuff or perhaps I had never examined my head to such a detailed degree. After a few more months the bum fluff had all gone - probably as a result of all the masaging.

In all I spent over £1,800 on these treatments and am lucky that a good friend one day asked my "WHY?".

On some serious questioning I realised that my fear of becoming ugly and getting old had cost me the best part of two grand and had seriously affected my confidence. I no longer worked at Lillywhites so wasn't confronted by my appearance on a daily ba
sis, and having hair or no hair doesnt make you any more or less an attractive, interesting, or fun person to be with.

OK so I may never be any of these, but as Minoxidil wasn't preventing the ensuing baldness why should I get so hung up on the issue.

So in an act of great revenge against my hair I cut it all off. A grade one at the barbers - there that serves you right you meanie.

This was the weirdest thing to do but totally the correct thing in my case. I suddenly realised that the legend of Samson loosing his hair and strength was a load of rubbish. I was still exactly the same me, and instead of people seeing a bit of my pink head they now saw all of it.

Grade one was a bit radical and looks odd with a shirt & tie (unless you are Vinny Jones) and I now keep it to a grade 2-3.

I am really happy and I dont have to think about my hair - no not one bit. The ultimate wash and go - quick rub with the towel and out of the door. No hair no worry and loads more self confidence.

There are still some vacuous people (especially for some reason complete strangers) who delight in commenting on my baldness. But I can truely laugh as I really dont care. Also one day when they are middle aged and their hair starts receeding as they enter a midlife crisis I know the anguish they will face.

I have been there, wasted a lot of money, and come out of the other side laughing at both my stupidity and society's perceptions of what constitutes a "complete" person.

Now for the lecture bit if you haven't fallen asleep. If you worry about your hair or impending / actual lack of it by all means try Regain (Minoxidil). It has now been commercialised and is available from Pharmacists - no pink paste, steamers, or doctors check ups.

If it works and is your "miracle potion" I am very happy for you and wish you a good life forever spending your money and becoming fixated to your eli
xir of youth.

Do be prepared for it to fail you or dash your hopes to the ground. If it does, so what! The sooner you find a way of coping and realise for yourself what a load of absolute tosh the whole stuff is the better. This stuff just panders to your fears and vanity, and you will be much happier when you realise this.

Once you cross that bridge you will never want to go back and will be able to have a good belly-laugh at your own stupidity.

Until you find this point you will just have to trust me. Good luck whatever your outcome.