Was that really me? (Anorexia Nervosa)

Member Name: Kool_Beans_1

Product:	Anorexia Nervosa
Date:	06/06/01 (332 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: None

Disadvantages: Constant Hunger, Hard to overcome

Imagine, for a moment, sitting alone in your bedroom crying because you have just seen what you look like in the mirror for the first time in several months. As you glance in the mirror, you begin to wonder if that talk almost transparent figure with the sunken eyes and bony shoulders in the reflection is really you. That unsettling feeling in your throat is the piece of pizza you attempted to eat earlier working it's way back up. Something is telling you that you're about to taste that pizza again on it's way back out. You're gripped by fear as the realization that you have lost control hits you.

So...how did you lose control? What drove you to lose all that weight?

Maybe you wanted to be beautiful; like the women on television. Perhaps it was the really attractive guy who told you that you looked hideous in that swimsuit. Or it could have been something as simple as wanting a change in your life.

For the girl you were imagining to be before, the weight loss was about control. With her life quickly spinning out of control, she decided to grasp on to the last thing she could control; her weight. She did really well in the beginning. She kept control of how much weight she lost. Later she couldn't stop losing weight; she didn't even know where it was going.

It was very easy to stop eating sweets and chocolate. Skipping a meal here and there was no big deal. Living on a liquid diet wasn't so bad because she was a busy person. She only had time to grab a coke or a cup of coffee at meal times before running off again.

Sitting there in front of that mirror, how do you think she felt? Yeah, she was lonely, hungry, and most importantly scared. She was no longer in control.

That was three years ago. Three years ago on the Fifth of January; her birthday. How's she doing today? Well, I've regained control. It wasn't easy, but nothing worth doing is ever easy. r>
Don't be fooled by thinking you have control over this disease. You don't; it controls you.