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Self Harm
by wee-bobby23
I will start by saying i am 23 and have been very depressed for several years now and have self harmed for the last 2. Now i have tried numerous ways to cope with my depression and none have worked i have been admitted to hospital 8 times in the last 2 years trying to kill myself a fact that some people say is a sign of weakness etc but ... it is my way of wanting to escape. That being said self harm is not a suicide attempt it is a cry for help and a coping strategy that people tend to judge as a cowardly act. I personally have tried various ways to substitute cutting,burning,starving myself namely squeezing ice-cubes or using a red bingo marker instead of a knife to make it seem like i cut myself. I implore anyone reading this review whether it be for information for yourself or because your worried about someone talking to someone is the best thing you can do before it becomes to late that you become reliant on cutting etc like i have done.
Mine started with bullying at school and i didn't tell anyone because i felt nobody could do anything and if i told it would only get worse that is my first tip here if your getting bullied please tell someone and if you have children and you suspect something talk to them in a friendly way don't keep trying to force them into telling you it will push them away.
After i left school i worked in the care sector which i love quite frankly but there is always a darker side to every job and sadly i have seen that in witnessing numerous incidents of abuse of residents that managers simply refuse to acknowledge because it means paperwork,inspections and other organisations getting involved. Needless to say these incidents aren't the biggest contributor to my depression.
The biggest contributor is my family since my mother lost 7 children when they were very young ( i was the very first) i felt blamed for their deaths my other obviously says she never blamed me but she wouldn't admit otherwise anyway. Then my sister was born when in was 5 and i was shunned and my parents attentions went mostly on her if i got say £10 for my birthday she got the exact same even though it was my birthday day if she said i hit her without being in the room i got a smack for it. This is my second tip please treat all your children with respect and the same don't favor 1 over the other as my parents did. Luckily my grandparents did pay attention to me which helped make me feel loved but sadly that changed when 1 of my granddads died of a brain tumor mixed with ms and my other granddad died of a hemorage because staff in hospital didn't check him ll night when he was in hospital. That devastated me because both of my grandmas closed off in depression which in turn made me very depressed because nobody seemed to love me anymore i felt like a lost cause at just 15 years old and nobody noticed even after i would fly into fits of rage at school. I left school at age 15 which didn't help any but the bullting was getting worse and i thought i would be better off i then get 2 gcse d'd and my nvq 2 in health and social care.
After years of working in the care sector and the few incidents of abuse i witnessed and all the feelings of being unloved came bursting to the top and the self harm got worse and worse and lead to me trying to take my life on numerous occasions. i am seeing a therapist now but am on the sick for the forseeable future which leads to no money which leads to more depression creating a vicious cycle.
That is some of my story but the point is everyone's is different and if you have read this, even just this last line, you might be thinking about someone who showed the signs that i did becoming withdrawn,angry,never smiling anymore and you might be able to help them.
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Self Harm
by kiss_me_now9
As with all the other reviews on this topic, please be careful reading this is as it can affect you to read about self harm. Be sensible and just close the page if you think you might be affected!
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Self harm can come in many forms, but is typically associated with cutting or burning. It can also be classified as ... taking too many pills, not eating and generally doing anything deliberately with the purpose of hurting yourself. For me, it's been in the form of cutting and not eating. Many people - especially people my age - are quick to brand self harmers as 'attention seekers' and 'emos'. I and many other self harmers are neither and the labels are quite offensive. Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean you need to throw names around.
I first remember self harming when I was 16, after an argument with my mum. I have no idea why, but after throwing myself around the living room and then stomping off upstairs, the only thing I could think of to calm myself down was to scrape lines into my skin with a pin. I still don't really understand why I did it, and I didn't do it again until about a year later, when I hit a rock bottom point with my AS levels and school in general. At this time I was harming about four times a week; which is quite a lot when you think about it. In the end I managed to get into uni and went away with the idea that I could, and would, get better.
Unfortunately this didn't happen and I soon fell into a cycle of self loathing and hatred. I didn't eat, I slept all the time, I went to about two lectures a week and wandered the night drunk and suicidal. Just before Christmas I ended up in the on campus nurses office at 3am and they sent me to the GP - who I saw once and then never again. Skip to me dropping out of uni and coming home to live for months and I saw an instant reduction in my self harm - but it was always there, under the surface. Over the three years between dropping out and now, I've self harmed countless times, tried to kill myself about 5 and ended up in hospital for other destructive reasons a few times as well. Now it's written down it seems a lot worse somehow :o
I was lucky when I was younger, I got away without a massive amount of scarring. However since returning to uni my self harm habits have also returned and this time my skin isn't taking it lying down. Swimming is an ordeal for me as I have scars on my arms and thighs, and a few on the rest of my body that genuinely aren't self inflicted but still look as if they are because my skin doesn't heal properly any more. I have horrible raised scars from when I tried to kill my self that will *never* go away. I've got used to people staring at me in the supermarket when my scars aren't covered up now. I am very lucky as my scars are localised to areas that generally don't get put on show, but I know other people who have scars up and down their arms and one girl I know has scars all over the backs of her hands.
I've been self harm free since the 13th of March, which is the longest time since I started (bar the year between the initial act and when it really picked up) and it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I've had physical fights with people because all I've wanted is a blade and they - quite thankfully - won't let at it. And there are some nights, like yesterday night, when all I can do is turn in early and go to sleep hoping that in the morning I won't want to claw my skin off. I have no doubts that I will relapse at some point but hey, we're all allowed to and once as a coping mechanism is not a problem in my eyes. Anything can trigger me off, but largely it's reading/seeing pictures or people who have self harmed. I find my eyes drawn to sharp objects even now and I can probably tell you where everything in this room that I could self harm with is. Maybe that's my super talent?!
However, on a serious note, if you're suffering from self harm, then see a doctor and get some help. You can get through this, I believe that you can.
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Hypermobility Syndrome
by dollydoo12
I found out the cause of my aches and pains this week...here are a list of all the symptoms which this syndrome gives me;
*sore joints particularly in my back.
* extremely bendy joints- I have lots of part tricks I show people like my very bendy fingers touching the floor without bending my knees, bending my knees and ... elbows the wrong way and getting my thumb to touch my wrist
*really soft skin that bruises easily
* I bleed slightly longer than I should
* extreme period cramps
*ibs
*chronic fatigue, I have to lie down after doing ANYTHING to recharge
* I often feel really dizzy for no apparent reason
* i am very clumsy as I have rubbish spacial awareness
* I have thoratic scoliosis (cure in the top part of my spine)
* extra elastic skin o
I have been visiting a physiotherapist for three months after being referred for sciatic pain in my back and legs which I only brought up to the doctor when I was getting treated for glandular fever, she's bot had much success and the reason why is clear...the joints. In my back like to wiggle about and change position and this causes my pain receptors to be activated my pain. My pain not sciatic as we first thought it is from my joints! I mentioned this to my doctor and showed her my fingers, they have started to appear misshapen and the shape resembles a swan neck, she then commented that if i was bendy age would have suspected that it was hyper mobility syndrome....a few minutes later and showing her numerous bendy things i can do and seeing my soft stretchy skin she deduced this is indeed what I have!
Hype rmobilty syndrome is a connective tissue disorder which in my case is caused by a defect in the collagen. Produced by my body that means all my tissues such as muscles, skin, bowel ect over stretch what they should normally and that this causes pain because my joints are being over worked.
I can help my pain by lying down flat to recharge, usually half an hour help but I get tired very quixkly doing things and this increases the pain I feel. Another way I am learning helps is to stay positive, i am still capable of doing things like working and going to uni even though I am in pain. If I don't keep active it will cause more problems as my muscles will become weak and not support my body properly.
People find hyper mobilty hard to understand, I do not look ill yet I am in severe pain, I am better some days than others. I always remind these people that just because something cannot be seen it does not mean it can be felt and this is the case for pain!
28/9/11
I am looking forward to my appointment tomorrow and hope to learn more information and to start pain relief. I'm upset this won't go away but there is still plenty of sunshine in my life, I've read stories of people who are much worse and I am thankful for my quick diagnosis as I know some people wait years with unexplained pain.
29/09/11
This has recently been re-categorised as elhers danlos syndrome hyper mobility type but is still often referred to as hyper mobility. At my appointment today I seen a different doctor from last Friday who I mentioned to about my scoliosis in my spine, IBS and family history of arthritis and joint pains as well as my stretchy skin (at my last appointment when I first got diagnosed I did not place importance on these) as a result of this I am being sent to a geneticist to check it is definitely the hyper mobility type of EDS I have. I would advise other people with Hyper mobility syndrome to ensure they tell their doctor all their symptoms. You can check if you skin is extra stretchy by pinching and pulling the skin on the inside of your elbow, if it stretches over 1cm this is considerer extra flexible so tell your GP/ consultant as this may be important!
Much love and thanks for reading! I hope this is a useful insight into the syndrome and that if you or anyone you know ever cones across this you can understand that although being extra bendy sounds great, it really hurts!
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