I will start by saying i am 23 and have been very depressed for several years now and have self harmed for the last 2. Now i have tried numerous ways to cope with my depression and none have worked i have been admitted to hospital 8 times in the last 2 years trying to kill myself a fact that some people say is a sign of weakness etc but it is my way of wanting to escape. That being said self harm is not a suicide attempt it is a cry for help and a coping strategy that people tend to judge as a cowardly act. I personally have tried various ways to substitute cutting,burning,starving myself namely squeezing ice-cubes or using a red bingo marker instead of a knife to make it seem like i cut myself. I implore anyone reading this review whether it be for information for yourself or because your worried about someone talking to someone is the best thing you can do before it becomes to late that you become reliant on cutting etc like i have done.

Mine started with bullying at school and i didn't tell anyone because i felt nobody could do anything and if i told it would only get worse that is my first tip here if your getting bullied please tell someone and if you have children and you suspect something talk to them in a friendly way don't keep trying to force them into telling you it will push them away.

After i left school i worked in the care sector which i love quite frankly but there is always a darker side to every job and sadly i have seen that in witnessing numerous incidents of abuse of residents that managers simply refuse to acknowledge because it means paperwork,inspections and other organisations getting involved. Needless to say these incidents aren't the biggest contributor to my depression.

The biggest contributor is my family since my mother lost 7 children when they were very young ( i was the very first) i felt blamed for their deaths my other obviously says she never blamed me but she wouldn't admit otherwise anyway. Then my sister was born when in was 5 and i was shunned and my parents attentions went mostly on her if i got say £10 for my birthday she got the exact same even though it was my birthday day if she said i hit her without being in the room i got a smack for it. This is my second tip please treat all your children with respect and the same don't favor 1 over the other as my parents did. Luckily my grandparents did pay attention to me which helped make me feel loved but sadly that changed when 1 of my granddads died of a brain tumor mixed with ms and my other granddad died of a hemorage because staff in hospital didn't check him ll night when he was in hospital. That devastated me because both of my grandmas closed off in depression which in turn made me very depressed because nobody seemed to love me anymore i felt like a lost cause at just 15 years old and nobody noticed even after i would fly into fits of rage at school. I left school at age 15 which didn't help any but the bullting was getting worse and i thought i would be better off i then get 2 gcse d'd and my nvq 2 in health and social care.

After years of working in the care sector and the few incidents of abuse i witnessed and all the feelings of being unloved came bursting to the top and the self harm got worse and worse and lead to me trying to take my life on numerous occasions. i am seeing a therapist now but am on the sick for the forseeable future which leads to no money which leads to more depression creating a vicious cycle.

That is some of my story but the point is everyone's is different and if you have read this, even just this last line, you might be thinking about someone who showed the signs that i did becoming withdrawn,angry,never smiling anymore and you might be able to help them.