COLIN goddeth of Thex...and bronth fountainth!! (Boots Lubricating Jelly)

Member Name: Sumner

Product:	Boots Lubricating Jelly
Date:	03/05/02 (326 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Saves the neighbours windows, keeps their boots moist, keeps the streets safe (until col finishes work)

Disadvantages: that terrible incident back in '78, there's just not enough to go round sometimes, and we all know what goes around CUMS around

Yooooooooooooohooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! As you all know our rather good friend Colin has a bit of a fondness for fondling his dingly danglys (and we are not talking in the fashion of Pat Evans earrings). This lubricant is almost the best thing Colin could wish for in his rather meagre stocking. You see, fans, because Colin tends to like it rough, (in public toilets to be precise), he often gets friction burns on his...cheeks...(and we're not talking facial). And of course there's nothin more unpleasant than sparks flying out of your arse (we're talking SERIOUS friction).

Andy and Colin have got a rather large, ahem!! store of lubricant, and none have they enjoyed using most than superdrugs own lubricant, which they keep in their...Boots...with the lid firmly screwed on, and there is nothing worse than slippery shoes. HAve you ever been in the sea wearing the old trainers walking through the seaweed and sand and old plastic bags, and floaters!!!(location Hillhead). Well if you have you can share the feeling you get when you come out and all the sand has managed to wedge itself in your shoes, well this is where good old Lube comes in. Rub a bit on your feet and you will no longer hae that problem, only problem is as Colin and Andy found out, (much to Andy's pleasure), that is, as by chance on a nudist beech you are playin football, and one such as Andy jumps for a header, but Colin goes for a kick, hence we have a colision, ones foot may wedge itself in ones arse!! once again Lube saves the day!!!

So the good old lube, looks like it's our svaiour. Where would we, and more importantly Colin and Andy be without it? Well, I'm not entirely sure that you wish to know the answer, but you deserve to know... when the lube supplies ran out back in the summer of 1978 Colin and his good friend Andy ended up in A&E with SEVERE grazing to the inner buttocks... and on top of that they had to pay £89054 in damages for breaking the neighbours w
indows (that was one firework display that got seriously out of hand!) and for mentally scarring the whole of Hampshire fire brigade (can you imagine the sight of Colin and Andy running stark naked with Catherine Wheels whirling out of their derieres? - leave that thought firmly to the adults please children). So anyway, back to the marvellous lube....

Since fireworks have been banned in the streets lube has formed an ever more important role in the life of our dear chums Col and And... you see they squeeze it out of a 6 inch (yes a whole 6 inches) tube, (that's tube not pube... get those scissors boys!) and smear it all over their (by now) quite moist MACHINES. A good tip they give is to massage it all in to even thickness to prevent a pussy glow... I'm talking yucky pussy not fishy pussy or catty pusssy ok!

Remember be safe and don't be sore, rub that glistening stuff all over everything, your BEAST, your mother and your food. You've been warned... fireworks need not apply!

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