Truly offal (Vitamin B)

Member Name: Diaz

Product:	Vitamin B
Date:	19/11/01 (149 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Brimming health and vitality

Disadvantages: Death and dispair

I come back blinking from the wilderness, a void of disillusionment, both Ciao and Dooyoo have cut their payouts. I’ll never be able to afford the Porsche now!! Still I’m going to pick myself up by my bootstraps and grimly soldier on with another bunch of absolute twaddle about vitamins. Why? Because I can!!

If any of you are unfamiliar with my vitamin ops they go a bit like this, vague introduction (you’ve had that, vague and totally unrelated, wasn’t it?), Historical twaddle, Technical/Biological twaddle, all rounded off with a nice recipe to boost your vitamin intake. Now since this is all a little bit on the technical side and hence dry the whole kit and caboodle (a desperately underused phrase in my opinion) is lightly sprinkled with some truly awful Doctor Doctor jokes (well it’s kind of medical isn’t it?). If you want to give up reading right now, quite frankly I wouldn’t be surprised; I know what’s in store for you…

Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.
You're too tents.

So today’s vitamin of choice, if you didn’t manage to read the product heading is Vitamin B1, a complex subject, which is about as close as humour and vitamins ever get, you see Vitamin B is a complex (group) of vitamins B1 being one of them, it just isn’t funny if you have to explain it, is it?

~~Can you tell me all about Vitamin B1 in less than 138 words? ~~

Vitamin B1 or Thiamin was discovered between 1915 and 1916, by Casimir Funk, (a pretty close call on the humour stakes but just a funny name on its own won’t cut it for me, excusable by the fact he was Polish.) Funk actually coined the term vitamine but it was clearly shortened the much peppier vitamin we know and love today. He also went some way to differentiating between hormones and vitamins,
his interest in hormones led him inevitably to work on the pituitary and sex glands (which is about as close to sex as this op is coming).

Vitamin B1 is also known as Thiamin and is one of the water soluable vitamins (as opposed to the fat soluable type) this means it cannot be stored by the body and must be replenished in our dietary intake.


Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ‘till I get there


~~So what is vitamin B1 good for? ~~

Glad you asked me that (In a purely metaphorical sense), well it enables the body to release the energy stored in carbohydrates (it is necessary for production of the coenzyme thiamine pyrophosphate vital in carbohydrate metabolism) and assists in the synthesis of nerve-regulating substances. It also helps to stabilise the appetite and promotes good muscle tone.


Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!
Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.



~~And where can I get it? ~~

Food of course or those handy little tablets the likes of Mr. Boots make, personally I’d go for the food option it’s much healthier and a damn site tastier. The main sources are

· Pork and lean meats in general
· liver, heart, kidney (Hmmmmm offal),
· Brewer’s yeast (does this mean beer has it too?)
· Eggs
· Leafy green vegetables
· Whole or enriched cereals, the outer part of the cereal is the richest in Vit. B1 so unprocessed cereals are best
· Berries and nuts
· Legumes (that’s beans to the likes of you)

Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep.
Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.

~~So what foul fate will befall me if I don’t take your advice?~~

Well far be it from me to suggest you eat your greens and frankly I don’t give a fig if you don’t but if you don’t get eno
ugh Vitamin B1 you could experience muscular weakness, swelling of the heart and leg cramps. In severe cases it can lead to heart failure and death, which is a good enough reason for me to eat my sprouts. There is also evidence to suggest deficiency effects appetite and causes depression. The technical name for Vitamin B1 deficiency is Beriberi

Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did what happen?

~~What if I over do it?~~

Well I’m a fan of excess in almost anything but over doing things like vitamins can be a little iffy. Toxicity is rare but it can lead to symptoms like rapid pulse, weakness, headaches, insomnia and irritability. Which is why the men in the white coats, or “Boffins” as we scientists love to be called have come up with a recommendation for the amount you eat each day, the RDA;
0.5 mg / 1000 Kcalories for adults and children
1.0 mg/day minimum
Additional 0.4 mg is suggested for pregnant women

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I’m invisible
Who said that?

~~So do you know handy recipe that would help me to boost my intake of vitamin B1 and yet still be tasty and convenient meal solution? ~~

You folks ask the strangest question, but it just so happens that I do. Courtesy of drkoop.com
· 1 pound pork tenderloin
· 1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
· 1 teaspoon peeled, grated ginger root
· 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
· 3 cloves garlic, crushed
· 2 cups fresh snow peas
· 1 cup thinly sliced sweet red bell pepper
· 3 cups cooked vermicelli
· 1/3 cup low-sodium chicken broth
· 2 teaspoons cornstarch
· 1 teaspoon sugar
· 2 teaspoons dark sesame oil

1. Trim fat from pork, and cut pork in half lengthwise. Cut each half crosswise into 1/2-inch thick slices and set aside.
2. Combine soy sauce, grated ginger root, cayenne and crushed garlic in a large zip-top
heavy-duty plastic bag. Add pork; seal bag and marinate in refrigerator 20 minutes.
3. Coat a large nonstick skillet with cooking spray; place over medium-high heat until hot. Add pork and marinade. Stir-fry 1 1/2 minutes or until browned.
4. Add snow peas and red pepper; stir-fry 1 minute.
5. Combine broth, cornstarch, sugar and sesame oil; add to vegetables and pork, cooking 1 minute or until thickened.
6. Stir in vermicelli and stir until heated through, about a minute longer.

~~Do you have another abysmal joke to round off the opinion with?~~

Did you really need to ask….

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.

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