C why Pirates need it (hee hee) (Vitamin C)

Member Name: mpafp

Product:	Vitamin C
Date:	02/08/03 (187 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: health

Disadvantages: sea monsters, no crew if you don't share

[A pirate surveys the horizon.]

PIRATE: Ooooh-ar!

[Seagulls fly around. Waves lap against the edge of the boat. Sea monsters surface and contemplate their next meal.]

PIRATE: Swibble the maindeck and foist the lanyard nor-nor-west.

[Twelve other pirates emerge from below deck and proceed to carry out a range of piratey activities: hoisting sails, cutting ropes, spitting obnoxiously into the sea, cutting phalluses on each other?s backs when they?re not looking.]

SEVENTH PIRATE: Who dun that?!

[Pirates stifle giggles and point at each other. Suddenly they all drop down dead. CAPTAIN emerges from his cabin.]

CAPTAIN: Ooooooh-ar, they be all dead. Dead. [Turning to the audience.] And knows you why? Because they ain?t been having enough vi-tar-man C, thass why. Oooh-ar. Me, I got me own supply of 1000mg tablets: thass why I be alive, and they be all dead. Dead. Woooahahahaha!

[Captain continues to laugh as his ship drifts off course. Suddenly he stops laughing as he realises he now has no crew to control the ship with. Ship sails off edge of the world. Sea monster surfaces and treads water for a while, musing on the ephemeral nature of life. Curtain.]

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Vitamin C, as all good sailors know, is essential if you want to avoid scurvy. But it has more uses than just this. As well as promoting healthy gums, it aids the body?s iron absorbtion, and helps strengthen the immune system and is especially useful for a ?hectic lifestyle?, as my box of tablets says (those who have read my op on zinc may feel we are covering familiar ground here. Those who haven?t, read it now. Things might make sense.).

In my experience, strong doses of vitamin C -- combined with large amounts of water -- are the best way to get rid of a cold. I am sure that it is also just helpful in general to ensure that you have plenty of vitamin C in your system: I once saw t
he bloke who had invented the vitamin C pill (or something) on TV. He had been taking well over the RDA (recommended daily allowance) since, and was looking fantastic. He was obviously very old, but his grey hair had a healthy, shiny look, and his blue eyes were bright and full of life.

One of the useful things about vitamin C is that you cannot overdose on it (which is why my vit C pills contain 1667% of the RDA), so keep taking the stuff, it?s good for you.*

M



*Mischa Foster-Poole cannot be held responsible for any deaths resulting in vitamin C overdoses caused by his recommendation to ?keep taking the stuff?.

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