Newest Review: ... which is a great big size and will last months hopefully! In use I use this cream mainly for cuts and scrapes to help keep the area from ... more
Saviour for Spackers
Savlon Antiseptic Cream
Member Name: Joker25
Savlon Antiseptic Cream
Advantages: Stops infection and smells nice.
Disadvantages: Um, none, really.
For most people (probably) the smells they associate with their childhood are pleasant ones, like freshly cut grass, the way the pavement smells after rain, home cooked dinners and all that sort of nonsense. Well, the smell of my childhood is Savlon. As a small child I didn't have much going for me. I was eccentric to the point of weirdness, I preferred books to computer games and I was wont to devise games that baffled the other kids and then hold their toys to ransom until they agreed to play them with me. To add injury to insult (literally) I was also very gullible and clumsy. Thus, by the time I had reached the age of ten I had a catalogue of injuries that would've made Evil Knievel blanch (incidentally, 'Knievel' was his real name, although 'Evil' wasn't, sadly. Also, he persuaded his first wife to marry him by kidnapping her. Never say I don't teach you anything). As I was saying (some time ago, admittedly. Bear with me. I'm knackered and rambling a bit and I have a unique conversational style at the best of times, but I'll get to the point sooner or later) I used to injure myself all the damn time. Initially, my parents would fret and bring me to the GP, but fairly soon they realised the most expedient policy was to start buying in bulk loads of Savlon and save the doctor's surgery for those times where they could actually see the bone protruding from the wound.
Now, the conclusion that most of you will be jumping to is that I grew out of my propensity for injuring myself as I turned into an adult. How little you know me. If anything, I injure myself more, and in stupider ways. It's like having the most rubbish superpower ever. That said, I can bring dull meetings to a swift end on a regular basis by toying idly with a stapler and then, inevitably, stapling my finger to the desk. I've done that more than once. In the same meeting. Just in the last fortnight I have:
Cleansed my face of makeup using Domestos wipes.
Had the toenails fall off my little toes because I wore silly shoes.
Stapled my finger to my desk, and then seconds after I'd released myself stapled the same finger to an exercise book.
Superglued my hand to the bath.
Superglued the other hand to the bath in a vain attempt to free the first hand.
Trapped my finger in a door.
Burned myself on the toaster.
Electrocuted myself by putting a pair of scissors into a light fixture.
Cut myself with a butter knife.
Burnt my arm whilst making cheese on toast.
Fallen over a 5 year old.
Walked into the same door twice.
It'll not surprise you to learn, therefore, that there are tubes of Savlon liberally scattered around my house. If you don't know what Savlon is, well, you just haven't lived. Or, indeed, injured yourself very much. I'm not going to tell you exactly what all the packaging looks like and direct you on how to purchase your very own tube because, frankly, if you're that stupid, Savlon really isn't going to make much of a difference for you. It's good, but it doesn't work miracles. For that, you need Jesus, or David Blaine, if Jesus is busy having his tea. Savlon is magic cream that comes in a little blue tube and costs about 4 quid. That's not very much at all when you think about all the stuff that it does. Savlon is the eager beaver of the topical antiseptic world. Now, granted, that's quite a small world, but I think we should pause a moment in celebration of all the things Savlon does. It'll prevent infection, soothe minor burns, and aid in the prevention of minor skin disorders. I'm not quite sure exactly what 'minor skin disorders' are, but if you're a leper or something it's probably best to go and see your GP. It does however, manage to stave off blood poisoning/gangrene whenever I injure myself and, as we've already discussed, that happens with alarming frequency.
Also, it's worth mentioning that Savlon is an innocuous little soul. It just sits benignly on your bathroom shelf, and smells reassuringly nice and soothing when you put it on. Nor does it pass judgement on your injuries. Even if you've managed to catch some kind of horrible rash off your most recent partner (I haven't, by the way, before you ask) it'll say nothing and just go about the business of making you all better.* TCP won't do that. TCP'll smell just awful, and, although it won't actually say anything, you'll always be under the impression that TCP thinks you're a bit of a spacker with no morals. And, well, if you want to live in a world of shame created by the contents of your first aid kit, TCP is the antiseptic for you. If you want to be free to injure yourself with gay abandon, safe in the knowledge that a nice, non-judgemental antiseptic cream is waiting for you with arms outstretched, get yourself some Savlon.
* I should probably point out that Savlon only really works on cuts, scrapes and burns. I dislocated my shoulder once and put some on. It did nothing except make my shoulder smell pleasingly of Savlon. Also, if you *do* have an STI off your most recent partner, Savlon will only fix the rash. Best get yourself down the local GUM clinic to deal with the underlying infection.
Summary: First aid kit essential