All you ever wanted to know about coffee tables, and then some. (Coffee Tables)

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Product:	Coffee Tables
Date:	23/02/03 (173 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Coffee cup convenience

Disadvantages: Sharp corners

It's time, it's time
For another wee rhyme
Ohh, or maybe a riddle
(am I taking the piddle?)

So here it is
Now, don't get in a tizz
The clue's the next verse
Jeez, I get worse

Of legs I have four
I sit on the floor
Beside your settee
To hold your coffee

T'was easy I know
But hey, there ya go
What more could I do
With a subject so poo?

I'm sure at least 12.7% of the five readers worked out from the rhyme that it is indeed a coffee table I speak of, the rest knew what it was anyway from the category not to mention the title. So, how to review a coffee table. Or, actually, not just a coffee table, but coffee tables in general. What a mindblowingly useful subject.

I must admit, to my great shame, that I have been the co-owner of several coffee tables over the years. Before I owned my own tables I also had use of others in parents house and at the homes of relatives and friends. I can't claim to be a great and learned expert in the field of coffee cup convenience but I do know a wee bit about them.

The first thing that the coffee table buyer or user should note is that the name is rather deceiving. Coffee tables aren't really made of coffee, but more about production materials later. Also, coffee tables don't actually need to be used to hold coffee. Yes, it's true! I know that might come as a bit of a shock, but believe me when I say that you can put cups of tea on them as well. Not only tea, but you could try placing empty crisp packets on them until you can be bothered putting them in the bin, or your remote control(s), or a newspaper/magazine/book. In fact you can use a coffee table as a convenient place to put lots of things. Don't put too much on it at the same time though or it will just look messy and cluttered.

The usual location for a coffee table is in the lounge/living room/sitting room or whatever you choose
to call it. It usually sits in the middle of the floor, sometimes on a rug. There aren't really any rules for where to put it though, it can go wherever you feel comfortable with it.

They come in many different shapes, such as round, square or rectangular. Again the choice of shape is a matter of personal taste. They also come in various materials such as wood (pine, mahogany, oak etc), metal (chrome, iron etc), and even rigid plastic, though I can't say I've ever owned a plastic one. The table top can also come in a variety of materials such as wood, glass or tiles. Glass ones can be a bit dangerous when you come home drunk and fall through them and sever some major arteries, but apart from that the table top material is again a matter of choice.

The usual standard for the coffee table leg count is four, but they can come with any number of legs depending on the prevailing home furnishing fashion styles of the period. You can also get ones that have no legs at all with the base consisting of a swan or other such sculptureish thing holding aloft the table top on the majesty of its wings (which can't break your arm because it's not a living swan, well you could break your arm if you fell on it but that would be your fault and not the swans fault).

You can buy coffee tables from a variety of outlets but the best place is probably a home furnishings shop. Ikea probably sell various styles, or you can get them from a mail order catalogue if you can't be bothered going out. MFI sell ones that you build up yourself using four screws and some of that wonderful wood glue that always seems to work so well. Prices vary greatly. Sizes likewise.

The last thing that you should consider is the day to day practicalities of coffee table ownership. When walking past your table, particularly if you opted for a square or rectangular one, be careful to leave enough room or you could hurt your leg on a corner, which in extrem
e cases results in bruising. Oh, and try to procure some coasters to avoid cup ring burny marks, particularly on wooden tables. Occasional dusting and/or polishing may also be required.

If chosen and treated with care a coffee table can give years of cup-placement convenience pleasure. Best of luck with yours.
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For a picture of a typical coffee table please copy and paste the following URL into the address bar of your browser. Alternatively have a look through the Argos catalogue where there are probably some pictures.

http://www.timelessfurnishings.net/images/mexi cali/lyon coffeetableSM.jpg

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