Chips with everything (Hotel Jupiter-Saturno-Marte Complex (Alcudia))

Member Name: Steve Ryan

Product:	Hotel Jupiter-Saturno-Marte Complex (Alcudia)
Date:	25/07/07 (1095 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Cheap once you're there; food is good, nice beach nearby

Disadvantages: Massively overcrowded; small, crummy rooms; clientele tends towards chav

Returned today (24 July) after a one week all inclusive stay in the Jupiter - 2 adults and 2 kids (7 and 4 y/o). On arrival, we waited over 2 hrs for our room to be made ready, and were eventually shown to a very small, very basic room which bore little relation to the one described on our booking form - no beds for our kids, for instance.

It also directly overlooked the hotel's refuse disposal area, so all week we had a great view from our balcony of the skips, bins and rubbish bags. These were collected with efficiency at 2.30 am every morning by a large and noisy refuse wagon, which we appreciated greatly.

As an additional treat, when switched on, the air con filled the room with the fragrant aroma of sewage. When we asked for the room we'd actually booked, we were told that the hotel had significantly overbooked, and we'd have to take what we were given. Lots of other people who'd arrived with us were in the same situation and the most popular activity for the following few hours was the complaints queue. Some unfortunate later arrivals were even shunted off to other hotels and self-catering apartments in the area, as there was no room for them.

The same night, all the power on the complex went off midway through the evening meal, which put paid to hot food and cold drinks, made negotiating the public toilet facilities a novel and challenging experience, and curtailed the evening's entertainment. Many guests, including us, went out to eat, and bought cold drinks from the local Spar - not something you expect to do on an all-inclusive holiday.

On the following day we returned to our room after a day at the beach to find that the aged toilet cistern had committed suicide, and was in the process of flooding the bathroom.

I could go on, but you're probably getting the picture by now....

On the plus side, the food in the restaurants was very good, with an excellent range of choices. The hotel staff were, without exception, friendly, tolerant and hard-working, and deserve to be paid at least three times as much as they probably get. There is also an excellent beach nearby if you want to get away from the hordes around the hotel pools, with a free half-hourly return bus service from the hotel. Local taxis are cheap and plentiful.

However, the main down side is the excessive number of guests. We estimated that there were at least 3000 people on the complex while we were there, most of whom were families with young to teenage kids.

The other guests at the hotel complex were a colourful bunch - although overwhelmingly (99%+) white British. Tattoos appeared to be compulsory for both genders (our favourite was one of the family pit bull, Satan, sported by the proud owner), as did the wearing of replica football shirts, shaven heads, beer bellies and second degree burns. The ability to consume alcohol all day and night, and to intersperse meals with 'snacks' of burgers and chips, hot dogs, etc also seemed to be desirable.

If you speak Spanish to the (mostly Spanish, though some Eastern European) hotel staff, be prepared for hostile glances, sneers and expressions of contempt from some of the other guests. And never, ever read a book in a public area...

As for us, this was our first all-inclusive, which has its advantages, but will definitely be our last ever visit to the Club Mac complex in Alcudia. We're currently pursuing Cosmos for compensation.

Summary: Avoid at all costs - except if you have a family pit bull