As ever, Dooyoo appears to be playing up. PLease, therefore, excuse the capitalization errors in the first few paragraphs!

For the uninitiated, there's such a thing as "Cockney Rhyming slang" - somewhat unique, I guess, to the UK - and particularly to the East End of London. Examples include: "Apples and pairs" = Stairs; "Trouble and strife" = Wife. Bonus question - what does "Bristol City" (or a pair of them) evoke? Think carefully! Answers on a postcard, please - although I have to say that, with the huge numbers of young girls walking around in skirts resembling belts, my attention was drawn away from their "Bristols"!

Yep - I've been to Bristol. Hardly a holiday location, but despite my protestations to my beloved to the contrary, it's actually quite a cosmopolitan place to visit. The scene of race riots (in the St Paul's region) several years ago, this refreshingly multi-cultural University City doesn't present a particularly welcoming face as you approach it on the M32. Get installed, however, and there's actually an awful lot to offer. Great shopping, loads of tempting places to eat, and a superb waterside café culture make this, in fact, one hell of a city to visit. This is Brunel's city and there's his awesome Clifton Suspension Bridge if you've got the nerve (and the hardly extortionate 30p toll!) to drive over it. There's also his SS Great Britain - the world's first ever liner - waiting to be visited. I really didn't think it - but actually, it's all there. And there's a really superb zoo - which baby Josh absolutely adored! We had a lot of fun and were glad that we went.

Why, though, did we go? We were booked in for two nights at the Bath Hilton (about 15 miles away) for our wedding anniversary. I thought it might be a good idea to cut the journey up a bit and started playing about with "Priceline". They?re ab
solute fiends! You select a location (in this case, Bristol). You select a quality level (in this case, four star). You give your credit card details. You make a ridiculous bid (in this case, £40). You wait to be committed to a random hotel of their choice.

Three minutes later, I was informed that my ridiculous offer was accepted. We were off to the Marriott Bristol City Centre. Bristol has two Marriotts. One is better than the other. This is probably the poor relation, but I can tell you that it certainly isn't at all bad. If you want to know more, read on by all means!

Arriving in Bristol mid-afternoon on the M32 motorway, we hung a left and there was the hotel. Very easily spotted, this 10 storey building was not particularly attractive from the outside. After a few circuits of the adjacent roundabout, we finally found the correct turning and were soon in the car park next to the hotel.

Minutes later, we were in reception. The staff were very friendly and after a short queue, I was being attended to by Rebekah. Check-in was very slow, and must have taken about 10 minutes, even though I wasn't really counting. A guy was sent up to our room to check that it was ready. One of the lifts was out of order and this held things up even more. Eventually, anyway, we were given the green light and we headed off to our room on the third floor.

It was an extraordinarily hot day and our room was very efficiently - if also very noisily - air-conditioned. Typically L-shaped, with the very well-appointed bathroom (with a fantastic 5-position massage power shower) leading off from the right hand side of the entry lobby, we had a comfortable bedroom with plenty of storage space, comfortable seating, colour TV with information systems and a huge and very comfortable bed. When I say "huge", by the way, I mean that when bed-time came, Amanda and I could lie on opposite sides of the bed with me being totally unable to reach her B
ristols. And I've got fairly long arms! It must, anyway, have been at least seven feet wide. The cot, which we'd ordered for Josh was in situ on arrival - and that's most unusual. We normally have to 'phone housekeeping to get it delivered, even if we've ordered it in advance. I was very impressed. There was a balcony, but an awful view. I didn't care; I'd asked for a smoking room and, as ever, had been thwarted in that respect. I forgot the heat as I ventured out of the air-conditioned bliss into the muggy heat outdoors to enjoy a cigarette and listen to the oft-repeated sirens of passing police cars. And there were many! They continued long into the night.

Although the hotel restaurant looked very inviting, we didn't eat in the hotel - there are so many alternatives in this city - but we did venture downstairs for a drink in the "Terrace Bar". This has a really superb ambience. The drinks were reasonably priced. The evening staff were professional and very friendly, although the girl who was running the bar in the afternoon was surly, bored and, I'm afraid, a very good excuse to make you explore what the city had to offer instead. That was, honestly, the only downside to the hotel.

We returned to our room. There's plenty of reading material if, like me, you prefer staying up late. There were three 'phone directories, a "Gideon Bible", a Mormon Bible. Oh - and an "I did it my way" kind of thing by J W Marriott Jnr. It sent me to sleep in that big, comfortable bed, knowing that Marriott don't have any employees but, instead, employ "Associates". You live and learn!

The "associates" we encountered were, at all times, friendly and helpful - apart from the sultry afternoon barmaid - who is probably not actually a barmaid - more a "Refreshment Delivery Associate". And a crap one, at that! The room, anyway, was very comfortable and we
enjoyed our stay in the city. To cap it all, it so happened that the city of Bristol was hosting its annual International Balloon Fiesta that weekend. Millions of people, and hundreds of hot air balloons. Baby Josh absolutely loved it. So did we. I'm sure you will, too!

Andrew