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All mouth and no trousers?
Met Bar (London)
Member Name: Slide Professor
Met Bar (London)
Date: 06/06/00, updated on 06/06/00 (162 review reads)
Advantages: Everyone looks like they have a tan it is so dark
Disadvantages: You need a mortgage to speak to the barman.
Now, there are not many times that you turn up to a bar and can honestly say that the atmosphere has HONESTLY ruined your night. I walked into the Met bar and saw a man in skin tight leopard skin trousers rubbing himself in a most lascivious manner and then thrust his sweaty palpy arm around his 'lady' and licked her cheek. Some welcome. Not that this would have put me off necessarily, but I have rarely been confronted by such a collection of self important 'toffers' in my life.
I had heard about this bar. Very exclusive, very high profile, very you get the picture. However, I have never been so let down in all my days. It looked like the 151 club on a bad day (i.e everyday) and yet people admit that the 1 dive 1 is pants (it just opens late and allows people in red jeans and brown suede brogues to talk about their salaries into the early hours). The Met bar has adopted this level of pretension but without any of the honesty, all of its customers seem to strut around trying to persuade each other that it is the best place on earth. Maybe, for them, it is, but I have rarely enjoyed myself less.
Sure, you may bump into someone famous, but you will probably be stopped by their bodyguard before you get to see the whites of their eyes, which would be an achievement in itself, because I think there must have been a power cut the night I went... oh sorry.... it was meant to be atmospheric. I was lucky to see Sacha Baron Cohen, the alternative Staines 'chief', but only because I prevented him from getting into the lift.
Maybe I saw it on a bad night, maybe I am a miserable bugger, but maybe the Met bar has been living off its reputation for too long. I have no doubt that it rocked once, but it reminded me of George Foreman coming out of retirement, overweight and failing to live up to the hype.
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