Travelodge - Thanks... but no thanks! (Travelodge Heathrow)

Member Name: nursingstudent

Product:	Travelodge Heathrow
Date:	26/06/02 (910 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Close to Heathrow, Reachable by Hotel Hoppa Bus (£1.50 from any terminal, single journey), Reasonable price

Disadvantages: Not as clean as it could be , Not as accessible as it could be, Whole place has seen better days

Picture the scene if you will..... you have just got off a long and tiring flight from Kuala Lumpur to Heathrow (and surprise, surprise - it is raining), you have in tow three very tired and irritable children all refusing to carry their own backpacks (whine, whine, we want to go to the toilet mummy), you have 4 large suitcases and 3 pieces of handluggage (all colour co-ordinated mind you). You struggle through customs, you struggle to the Hotel Hoppa bus stop, you struggle onto the bus, you drive round and round in circles for endless hours to go to other terminals and other hotels (whinge, whinge, we really NEED to go to the toilet mummy)...... then, lo and behold, in the distance you see it, like a mirage, a vision, a dream come true.... your Travelodge!

A happy ending to a stressful tale? Don’t get your hopes up. The bus hasn’t stopped yet. Oh, now it has. Let’s get out shall we and see what happens next. This building has certainly seen better days, looks a bit tired compared to those nice hotels we dropped other passengers off at. Mind you, this IS a budget hotel, lets give it a chance....

Hang on, what’s going on here? Where’s the front door? Surely not a small heavy door to contend with, not with all this luggage? Good grief. Hang on a minute, someone hold it open while we struggle through.... whoa - steady on there, there’s a flight of stairs to contend with now, who was the idiot that designed this entrance?? Bump, bump, bump, down we go, suitcases and all, this is a lot like hard work. It had better be worth it. (Mummy, so-and-so pinched me, no I did’nt, she started it.... we need the toilet..... now I’m starting to feel pre-menstrual....)

At least the receptionist will give me a smile (no, obviously you have to pay extra for that). Communication is carried out by grunts and gestures, pointing and pen passing. We asked for inter-connecting rooms. Apparently they do
n’t have any. But we booked them. Sorry, no can do. AAAAAGGGHHH! Time to give up and admit defeat and just lie down and sleep.

Walk along with me to the lift and watch as I push the button, two of the children step inside in front of me and the door promptly closes behind them. Panic! (Help Mummy, we don’t know what to do... Mummy!) Finally they work out how to push the button marked ‘Door Open’ and rush into the arms of their irate mother (Mummy, we are never going in a lift again, scared!)

After much motherly comforting these children get over their trauma and once again we set off, up in the lift, along the corridor, (why does it smell of cigarettes when it is supposed to be non-smoking...), through more heavy double doors (don’t forget all those suitcases), and finally we come to the rooms, struggle with the new fangled key cards..... and we are IN!!!!

Now comes the fun part.... are you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin....

Why does the air conditioning not work in one room?
Why does the air conditioning work in the other room but the whole unit comes off the wall exposing circuitry when you adjust it?
Why is the lamp shade broken?
Why is the sofa bed cover ripped?
Why is the sofa bed mattress stained with something rather unpleasant.... I won’t elaborate there if you don’t mind, I have just eaten....
Why is there an opened milk carton on the hospitality tray? I could have poured that into my coffee and had a belly full of bad bugs.
Why is the bed sheet a very peculiar colour.... in patches..... I think I will sleep on top of the duvet tonight dear.
Why hasn’t the sink got a plug, in fact why has it just got a big hole where there are really bad smells coming out of? (Be careful you don’t drop anything down that hole dear.....)
Why is the shower adjuster just not there? Maybe it fell down that hole.....
(Mummy, why does
this room smell funny? Don’t know dear - better not to ask....)
(Mummy, look - cobwebs!)
Let’s just give and up go to bed, too tired to go back down and complain, we still have a 250 mile coach trip home tomorrow. Things will look better in the morning. And at least the kids have gone to the toilet at long last.

OK, come on kids, time to go. (Mummy, why is that man smoking in the lift when it says NO SMOKING... sssshhh, dear. Mummy, can’t that man read... I can read what that sign says, why can’t he? SSSHHHHH DEAR!)

Oh, heck, we’ve checked out (no receptionist to complain to, just put your key card in the box as you leave) and now we’ve got to go back up that flight of steps and through that heavy door again. Should have had my 3 Shredded Wheat this morning. Still, it’s worth the effort just to get out of this place.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, the suitcases are unpacked, the sun cream is back in the bathroom cupboard, the photos are all in the album and lazy, hazy days in the sun are but a distant memory... but the Travelodge experience is not. Now what is the address for their customer services department, oh, yes, here it is.....

I now have in my possession a rather impressive certificate on grey paper with silver embellishments which apparently entitles me to a free night accommodation of my choice in any Travelodge, (we hope you enjoy your stay!). Thanks Travelodge, but no thanks, don’t think I’ll bother.

I don’t believe I expected too much from a budget hotel, I think cleanliness and safety should be expected at any level of accommodation. When you consider that travellers from all around the world stay here before catching onward flights or setting off to see Britain, I feel sad that this is the reception, the first impression, that they get. And you should see the prices of chilled drinks in the lobby!

Oh, and apparently t
he guest room cleaners are all going to go on a refresher course... seems like a good idea to me.

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