Izal Toilet Paper - SCREAMING AGONY on a roll (Izal Medicated Strong Toilet Paper)

Member Name: speedwank

Product:	Izal Medicated Strong Toilet Paper
Date:	14/09/05 (2644 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Asolutely none

Disadvantages: Too numerous to mention on one line, but try "harsh" "non-absorbent" "humilating" etc

I recently had reason to use a public restroom in a restaurant in Glasgow. To my astonishment and absolute horror there were rolls of Izal piled up atop the cistern, and one loaded "ready to burn" in the dispenser.

I remember this stuff from schooldays in the 60's, hell my parents remember it from before even then! It's utterly inconceivable that this product is still sold today. Perhaps the manufacturers have a twisted and distorted sense of reality, or an evil sense of humor.

In any event, the product doesn't do what it's supposed to do - period. I attended the aforementioned restroom only because I was stricken with an attack of diahrrea, and the merciless onslaught of Izal was, frankly speaking, the last thing my rear end needed at that moment.

I have asked myself many times over the years what the point is in selling tolilet paper that absorbs exactly *nothing*...I mean why?? The net result of using this when afflicted by "the runs" is that you wind up lierally smearing, what you're vainly attempting to remove, all over yourself. It's an ugly scenario.

It's a shame I didn't notice the toilet paper until after I'd sat down and (metaphorically speaking) blown up the place. I made a personal promise then and there, that upon my next restroom excursion, I will make it Standard Operating Practice (SOP) to verify the general consistency of the TP first to ensure I don't wind up in the same horrific circumstances again. (Sorry, that was the mother of all run on sentences).

I wasn't alone in experiencing acute discomfort and chagrin. While moaning and hanging on to a copper pipe (in an effort not to fall of the toilet) I heard someone occupy the adjacent stall. To be delicate about it, after "the event" was over I heard the characteristic sound of a spinning bog roll, followed by ... errr...well, "wiping sounds". Then my neighbor let out what can only be described as something between a strangled moan and a scream - followed by a string of expletives usually only heard on the waterfront. He didn't even flush, leaving in haste and yelling at a waiter or kitchen person in the hallway;
"Hey you, what the &*^$ do you call that *&^%house paper in there, SANDPAPER?"

There ensued a spirited diatribe of exactly what sensations the former occupent of the stall had experienced, and what he intended to do by way of revenge on the entire restaurant staff.

The reader can readily determine that my stay in the stall was rather lengthy, so I was in an ideal situation to record the details of the boisterous exchange of opinions taking place outside the door. Added to which, the acoustics of the establishment lent themselves ideally to discerning the smallest of details even down to the sound of a hapless employee being severely pounded on by an enraged patron, and the thundering footsteps of police officers running down the hallway to break up the altercation. It sounds as if I'm digressing here, but trust me, I'm not.

The constables left with their perp, and eventually after my own personal intestinal tsunami had subsided, I made the best of a bad thing, utilizing copious amounts of this vile toilet paper in an attempt to practice some degree of personal hygiene. After almost ten minutes of mad wiping I declared end of innings, and dressed ready to leave. The final insult ocurred, because I then discovered that flushing wasn't gonna do it. Izal had blocked the toilet! The water level crept up the sides of the bowl as I stared at it in horrified fascination mixed with disbelief. I was the figurative deer in the WC headlights. Finally the spell broke and, confronted by a creeping wave of water toilet paper and waste product, I beat a hasty retreat, pausing outside the restroom door to mentally collect myself before exiting the restaurant.

In conclusion I must say that this toilet paper is an insult to the civilized world of the 21st century. This stuff should have been discontinued in the 50's, not foisted on the public for a further 50 years. Surely it cannot possibly be profitable to manufacture? It sure as hell isn't profitable, comfortable or the slightest bit effective to use.

Summary: Vile, foul, evil, disgusting product that should be withdrawn from the market tout suite - yech!