Izal - No job's complete until the paperwork's done. (Izal Medicated Strong Toilet Paper)

Member Name: kirkyca

Product:	Izal Medicated Strong Toilet Paper
Date:	28/09/07 (850 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Ideal as a parental threat to achieve good behaviour from children

Disadvantages: Completely unfit for purpose

"When I was a lad.....", - the phrase so often used to describe the misfortunate experiences of their woe-filled 1920s and 30s youthful existence. My Grandparents had to put up with carbolic soap, doodlebugs and Rickets.

Was Izal invented to give us 1970s kids something to reflect on in these years gone by as something similarly evil and painful?

I don't pretend it was just my generation but the recollection of the brand name itself is enough to send shudders through any 30-something's............. you know what!

Firstly nobody ever explained to us young schoolchildren which side of the paper to grip. We therefore literally took the rough with the smooth.

It may have been medicated but it would need to be - as it had the potential to slash your intimate bits to ribbons.

It may be ecologically sound in terms of its biodegradability but there is a flip side - it didn't work and therefore to effect a useful experience you'd need to use roughly half a tree's worth of paper to get the job finished.

Was it invented by perverts?

Most disturbingly it's still available.

One thing's for sure. If I visit someone's home and they have a lavvie stocked full of Izal - I'll hold fire on my personal biological exit requirements and be tempted to call Social Services.

It was however useful to old men who wanted to fold a sheet over a comb and play some kind of gazoo like musical tones.

If your kids show you discourtesy or complain about what a difficult lot in life they have - walk them to the supermarket - point out the Izal - and tell them if they don't stop their moaning the Andrex will be replaced.

Summary: Izal - An acronym??? Incessantly Zealous Anal Lacerator