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Bottoms still falling out of my drawers.
No More Nails Adhesive
Member Name: mr-zeeman
No More Nails Adhesive
Date: 29/11/03, updated on 29/11/03 (2250 review reads)
Advantages: It's cheaper than buying a hammer and nails
Disadvantages: It certainly doesn't stick 'awkward' items
The TV advert had lodged itself in my memory bank ... a chap sitting on a chair which was, for some unexplained reason, suspended half way up a wall ~ thanks to the extraordinary sticking power of UniBond's NO MORE NAILS.
Well the DIY job which I had in mind didn't include any gravity-defying stunts involving items of furniture ~ I merely wanted to replace the bottoms of some old drawers in a 'chest-of-drawers'.
Now this particular item of furniture doesn't bear the quality hallmarks of Waring and Gillow craftsmanship ~ in fact it is perhaps most kindly described as "cheap, wobbly, mass-produced, pine-effect tat". But it IS useful. I had never attempted repairs of this sort before, but I felt confident that even a novice could deal with something so seemingly straight-forward.
Over the years the drawers had carried a fair weight in knickers and vests. But the backs and sides had begun to bow outwards with the sheer strain of so many garments; while the bottoms had sagged and distorted, and were constantly dropping out.
Upon inspection I found that a groove had been scored along the front, sides, and back of the drawers. The bottoms had originally fitted snugly inside the grooves, and they had thus maintained their correct load-bearing position for quite a while.
Ahhaa ... so it would be JUST a case of sawing a piece of hardboard to absolutely the correct size ... and if I could somehow permanently SECURE the new bottoms in place ... so that they stood no chance of being able to sag or distort ... then they would NEVER drop out in the future.
My first thought was "screw it". That was my second thought too, but I realised that my accuracy with positioning the screws couldn't be counted on, particularly as the hardboard was quite thin. Squirting glue into the grooves and shoving the new bottoms in place seemed a much more likely method.
I spotted NO MORE NAILS, i
n its dark green livery, with screaming gold capitals, in Wilkinson's. The Tube boasted that it was "Super Strength"; "Instant Grab Gap Filling Adhesive"; "New 50% Extra Grab Formula". Apparently it could grab wood, plastic, brick, metal, glass, ceramics, and plaster. I bought it for £2.99, feeling sure that it would grab my hardboard without any trouble.
WRONG!!! Now I may be a bit naive when it comes to DIY, but as far as I'm concerned "INSTANT GRAB" roughly translates as "immediate sticking" or at the very least "stuck solid, within in the next few seconds".
I filled the grooves with NO MORE NAILS and held the first bottom in place for a few minutes ... lifted up the drawer ... and the bottom fell out. Back to square one ... more glue ... held it in place for longer this time ... lifted it up ... and ~ Hey Presto ~ the bottom fell out. Hhhmmm, I was fast becoming a sticky mess, and so was the kitchen floor ... more glue ... and this time, with the help of Selotape, string, and the dog's lead, I strapped the whole lot together. Two hours later, I unwrapped the drawer ... lifted it up ... and the bottom dropped out.
I scanned the tube for an address where I could send a "Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to complain ..." letter ~ and that's when I saw it: THE SMALL PRINT!
"UniBond NO MORE NAILS dries in approximately 24 hours". Oh right ... so that's what "instant" means.
Well, what can I say? Maybe this stuff is excellent if you leave it in contact with whatever you want to stick for an entire day and night. Personally, I was SO disappointed that it hadn't lived up to the manufacturer's claims on the front of the tube, that I couldn't be bothered trying it again. And anyhow ... after you've squeezed the tube a few times it distorts so much that you can't get the enormous white cap back on. So
there's not much chance of saving it for another day.
No more nails? Well go out and buy some ... and get a selection of screws at the same time!