Get a grip, it's bloody bog roll for Christs sake (Quilted Velvet Toilet Tissue)

Member Name: deano76

Product:	Quilted Velvet Toilet Tissue
Date:	11/02/04 (464 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It wipes yer arse

Disadvantages: It costs a bloody fortune for the privalidge

Right, I'm kind of hoping this is going to be my last review on Dooyoo as I am trying to cash in and leave. I have not had some mega bad experience with the site, I am merely fed up with the net in general and need to spend as little time on here as possible. But I am not thick and don't plan on leaving any of my points and miles collections to the wolves so to speak, hence my being bothered to write a few more reviews on here to cash in.

Anyway, since this is my last op (note the over confidence, I'll end up getting 3 reads and have to write another one now).
I thought I'd write a review on something that has a close relationship with sh*te, EG Bog roll.
Now, my other half decided to purchase some Quilted Velvet the other day from our local Coop. 9 Generous rolls of crapper roll for a mere £3.19.
£3.19??????? For sh*t paper, I'd rather use my left over lunchtime newspaper from work. Well she bought the stuff, not me so, on we go.

'This toilet paper is so soft it almost feels like you are using a quilt' the attractive blue and white cellophane wrapper boasts.
Although the thought of using my quilt to wipe my arse is something that has honestly never entered my head before, but you may call me strange for not doing so if you wish.
Anyhow, this stuff is not only soft it even has a neat little pattern on the surface, WHY? What the hell do I care if the bog roll I wipe my royal arse with has a pattern on it? It all looks exactly the same when covered with a large brown streak. Yet this kind of thing is what boosts the price up.

All in all, this toilet paper is no different from most supermarket brands except for the ridiculous price difference, okay, okay, so it is a little softer to the touch and a tad thicker in perspective but who cares. IT IS BOG ROLL.
Unless you're using that tracing paper stuff to wipe up, y'know that stuff we all used to use at school then I think our arses a
re safe from damage.
I was told this stuff is supposed to be more absorbant than other brands but again, what's the difference? It ends up being flushed down the loo so it's gonna absorb no matter what.
Cheap to
ilet rolls do exactly the same job and unless your arse is covered with chilblains, and huge painful red and yellow lumps then there is simply no need for 'a quilt like feeling' when wiping your butt.
Oh, and there is apparently 192 sheets to every roll, like I'm gonna sit there and count them, I can just see myself marking off how many sheets I just used on a little chart next to the toilet.

To make things worse, the advertisements for this are just dreadful, some silly old hag pretending to be Hyacinth Bouquet to impress the neighbours with her 'wonderful quilted' bog roll. Like the neighbours are gonna knock on the door and ask for a sh*te anyway.

My total verdict is simply this WHAT A BLOODY RIP OFF!

Cheers for the read peeps, and bye for now, this is yer old pal Deano saying Ciao.

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