Dooyoo- The Dossier, The Evidence Against... The Verdict (dooyoo.co.uk in general)

Member Name: MakeMeOver

Product:	dooyoo.co.uk in general
Date:	15/07/03 (94 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: -, -, -

Disadvantages: -, -, -

CASE NO. 199765
DATE: 15TH JUNE 2003
THE DEFENDANT: WWW.DOOYOO.CO.UK
THE PROSECUTION: MAKEMEOVER
THE CHARGE: BEING A BAD WEBSITE
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(Ext. outside the High Crown Court where the trial is taking place, a TV news reporter is doing a feature on the famed trial of dooyoo)

REPORTER: I stand here on a monumental day for all concerned, where the infamous website www.dooyoo.co.uk is currently being tried for generally being unenjoyable and a complete waste of its users time. For the first time in the website's history, a team of users has actually come to question dooyoo's modus operandi, feeling some policies to be unfair and, a direct quote coming straight to us from the courtroom, "much too conservative". If the defendant is found guilty, while no prison sentence is possible, the website will be put under a huge amount of shame, for failing at its purpose, to be a community where users can share useful information with each other. If found not guilty, the evidewnce put forward by the prosecution team will in no doubt still give the website a reason to feel embarrassed. Indeed, from what I have seen, the prosecution are really pulling no punches here. They really want to finish off the site once and for all. This is Blank Francis reporting from the High Crown Court, back to the studio.

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(Ext. inside the courtroom where we join the proceedings during the prosecution, where MakeMeOver is about to lay out his case)

MAKEMEOVER: I stand here before you all, raising my right hand, vow
ing the speak the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God.

JUDGE: You may proceed.

MAKEMEOVER: Thankyou sir.

(a sense of anticipation arises in the courtroom as MakeMeOver looks at his audience with a wry smile painted on his face)

MAKEMEOVER: I am not here to be a villain, even if you do dislike me. I am just here to point out, what we feel to be fundamental flaws in this website. So, to start straight away: what does dooyoo offer us, the users?

Well, it is a place where we can share our opinions on products, helping others to buy products they may, or may not, want to have. However, although there are ahuge number of excellent opinions out there, to counter-balance them we have very unhelpful, crude and often distasteful (knowing wink at the reader) opinions that only serve to annoy the users. For the years 2002 and 2003, there are no problem with these as such opinions are rated accordingly. However, rather disconcertingly, before those years, the quality of opinions goes down incredibly, although such bad opinions still get crowns and very useful ratings. I once read a ten line opinion which got a crown. When people loged on to dooyoo back then, the site promised them top class services, and such opinons are below par. So, dooyoo cannot ever exclaim to have an excellent set of opinions on everything. Indeed, it is a very incomplete site. Utterly ridiculous. F**ked up. Whack.

(audience gasps and murmurs at the usage of obscenities)

Oh, you gasped... that brings me to how conservative dooyoo is. Boring. I have only written I think five opinions (and two crowns sir) during my half-year time as MakeMeOver. My old screenname was the infamous Pinkertonisrad and during my one-year period as that character, I wrote 66 top class, edgy, informative, ballsy opinions only to be kicked out because some people couldn't take a few obscenities here and there. In fact, the reason I did g
et kicked was because I wrote a series of opinions accusing dooyoo. The first ones I wrote were very crude, rude and I take those back but the last ever opinion I wrote actually had no obscenities, and jsut valid points accusing the site coupled with evidence from opinions showing this site's failings. It was taken from the site after three hours and then I was kicked out, with msot of my miles just taken away from me. I was robbed. And that isn't it, I waited around a month for the team's verdict whether I could come back on the site or not. A month where they judged me, as one of the management told me. Did I, a simple accuser, in front of such a alarge corporation really pose THAT much of a threat? And I think that is where dooyoo just crossed the line with me. Freedom of speech is a very tentative term. Of course, we don't want people spouting racist and misogynist propaganda on this site, as people do around Hyde Park, no that would be out of order. But I would not feel comfortable if I didn't have the option to politely give dooyoo the site a one star rating without having a witchhunt set upon me by my fellow users. This site is far too conservative in that away. It seems as if every opinion follows a set structure, a road that will guarantee them a very useful rating but a road that leads them still to an unimaginative and boring final opinion.

So, I urge my fellow dooyoo users today- do not follow predicament. Go and unleash yourself on your opinion, say what you're thinking, otherwise this website will go down. Since last year's peak of original opinions, things have gone downhill very quickly and less people are coming to this site, as I have heard. If the site is to stay up and running, please make your opinions more exciting for the benefit of all concerned.

Did I feel comfortable in dooyoo's "community"? Well, in effect, the "community" is just like the real world. If you don't
put the effort in, then nobody else will want to befirend you or read your opinions. And, frankly, I do not have time to lead two lives. I have a very busy (and successful) one already. I write some of the best opinions on this site and I dare people to question that in the message boards, because anybody who has read my opinions knows you're getting quality every time. Yet, my average number of reads for each opinion is about 8 and that is very unflattering, if you know what I mean when opinions by guides (hem... hem...), and by more established users that are bad still get several reads. That is hard to accept but before you all crucify me I do understand that that is how the site works.

Well, then the site is fundamentally flawed, I am afraid. Dooyoo's primary function is to provide us with opinions and its minimal function is for a community. So why is the commmunity currently vital in how successful opinions are. Surely, the quality of the opinions should be put first, if this site is to be fair to newer users?

However, if the quality of opinions is to be put first and instead of opinions by users, a leagure table be drawn up where the top ranking opinions of the last week are put in order, this would never work. Why? Because of the current rating system, a four star system that is unsatisfactory to judge opinions. This won't be accepted because of costs and such but an ideal system would be where a person should be hired fairly to lightly skim through all new opinions and give them ratings out fo ten, and then top opinions will come up first on the list. Name won't be a factor anymore, but quality will. The current system does not treat new users that well, it has to be admitted, and that is another failing of dooyoo.

This would mean the best opinions would get the most miles, as is logical. The current system does this to some opinions but not to others by more unknown users.

I also get the feeling that the
community is absent here and we inhabit a site full of gold-diggers. I put a note at the end of my opinion begging people to give me feedback in the comment section. I got about ten very useful ratings (out of about ten reads) and just one comment. Now, this is not the site's fault but does show that the so-called community may only be superficial. People read and rate quickly just to get the money. They may give useful opinions very useful ratings only for the sake of getting more reads from the user themselves. It's a I scratch your back, you scratch mine system that most people here abide to. But I won't. I am here to add to the quality of this site, not to demean it by rating opinions wrongly. Dooyoo must put out urgent warnings to its users to be fair in rationgs and must monitor such systems casually to see if users are actually rating properly.

Oh, and to quash one rumour, guides although they do get the MOST crowns, MOST reads and MOST respect do not get treatedt above your average user...

(murmurs from the audience)

So, in conclusion. I hope I have stressed some good points here today and I just beg for you to listen and ponder on some of the subjects I have brought up during my speech. Don't laugh me off, and please do take this seriously, as the charges against dooyoo are serious. I rest my case.

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(Ext. two hours later and the judge is about to give his verdict)

JUDGE: After much deliberation, it has been found that the defendant is...

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NOTE FROM MAKEMEOVER: Thankyou for reading that, it did take a long time and wll be, promises the final opinion where I will refer to Pinkertonisrad. Please add your comments to tell me what you think the verdict is going wit
h the charges. I myself would go for NOT GUILTY, or is that just because I want to get a crown? Anyway, I'm not keeping my hopes high. Dooyoo, or they have yet to prove will never give a crown to an opinion that accuses them of being a bad website. Chat to you all on the message boards.

Chow,

MakeMeOver

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