A favourite thing: OpCom Chat (dooyoo-uk.tripod.com)

Member Name: Shazzy

Product:	dooyoo-uk.tripod.com
Date:	17/07/02 (146 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: A strong community that isn't as cliquey as people tend to think

Disadvantages: Addictive (I need more sleep)

“Write about one of your favourite things”, the lady said. Well, it’s a celebration of life and I can’t imagine anything being more worthy of celebration than the fact that each and every one of us are alive right now. Definitely something I’d like to join in with.

I started up Word, got myself comfy and figured that finding a favourite thing to write about would be simple. Life’s good and there are lots of wonderful things in mine right now. I thought about all the obvious things; my children, Richard, my pets and my favourite music. Heck, I even thought about my hanging baskets and walks on the beach, but for the life of me, I couldn’t write a thing. Inspiration just wouldn’t come to me.

Oh well, maybe I wouldn’t be writing one after all.

That evening, I logged in to the OpCom (The Opinionated Community) chat room and had a bit of a moan about feeling brain dead. Several other members had already posted their “Jill” ops, and there was me with nothing to write about. A few ideas were thrown at me, but nothing grabbed me. Maybe I’d just been spending too much enthusiasm on other things to have any left for an op? Well, it sounds like a good excuse to me and better than “boohoo, I can’t write”.

As usual, we had a laugh and my mood lightened somewhat. I was having fun and to hell with ops! Several of us talked about what the chat room means to us, and how much we’d miss the room if it suddenly disappeared. Those who aren’t regular members of a close chat community probably wouldn’t understand it, but to those who are, It’d be like your favourite pub being bulldozed!

“Shaz! Your op! Why not write about the chat room?” shouted miriamb (Mir or Mim, as she’s affectionately known) enthusiastically.

Of course! <Shazzy slaps her forehead and wonders why she never thought of that before>


So here you have it. OpCom Chat – one of my favourite things.

It’s a rare evening that I don’t log on to mIRC and pop over to the chat room. Luckily, OpCom Chat is very accessible; some log on through OpCom (the forum) and others through tooyoo, which arrived on the scene a few months ago and seemed to attract a broader group of people than OpCom. Tooyoo was buzzing and eventually the site was linked to OpCom Chat, to give users of tooyoo a place where they could chat in real-time, rather than use the main board to chat. The main board, was, to say the least, becoming rather overcrowded.

I won’t go into any detail regarding OpCom and tooyoo; most regulars on dooyoo already know about them, and any newcomers that are interested, can follow the links that I’ll be giving you at the end of this opinion, and take a look around themselves.

Along with several others, I “discovered” the chat room through tooyoo. One of the regular chatters even found her way there through Charlie Chuckle’s webpage. Some regulars have been there since the room first opened in October 2000, and about half a dozen of those you’ll find in there these days have been chatting there regularly ever since. For most members, including me, OpCom chat is the only chat room they ever visit on any sort of regular basis and there’s no doubt that the room has a solid community feel to it.

For a long time, OpCom has had a reputation for being a cliquey group of elitists who were unwelcoming, even hostile, towards newcomers. I didn’t use the chat room back then, so I really can’t give you a personal view of that, but I can tell you that this isn’t the case these days. Several newcomers have become regulars in chat community since the opening of tooyoo, although far from everybody who’s visited the room. Some come in once and never return. Some just pop in now and then when they
217;re bored, and others come as often as they can, but just don’t get the time to come in regularly. Others are there most evenings (that includes me folks, as sad as that may sound to some).

Since the group has obviously changed since the opening of tooyoo, you’d think the “elite” would have become furious at not being able to keep us mere “commoners” away wouldn’t you? I mean, if they’re unwelcoming and hostile in the first place, they wouldn’t likely just sit there and take it. Oh no. They’d huddle together in the corner, ignoring anybody who dared enter the room without their express permission, and talk over their heads whenever they dared try to get into the conversation.

But wait! What’s that I hear you calling? That’s exactly what they do?

Well, yes, I can see why you’d say that, especially if you’re new to chat communities. But that really isn’t what happens at all.

Hmmm…. how am I going to explain this? Let me think….

<Shazzy wanders over to the pondering corner, sits in a comfortable chair and thinks>

Ok… let’s say I’ve just moved to a new area. I don’t know anybody but there’s a community centre just up the road that seems to be frequented by friendly people. Several have said hello when we’ve passed on the street. One day I decide to go in and I join a particular group. Maybe a study group, a dance group or a crafts group. Perhaps even a group of opinionated hobby writers? Whatever I choose, I can be sure that these people already know each other well, whereas they don’t know me, and I know nothing about them.

No doubt I’d be welcomed. Most would say “hi” and give me a welcoming smile, maybe even shake my hand. But they would probably have been mid-conversation when I arrived, and after the initial welcome, the conversation w
ould continue. I’d sit and listen, maybe laugh when appropriate, but not knowing the background for the topic at hand, or perhaps not even being sure what the topic even is, I probably wouldn’t say much.

Eventually, during a natural pause in conversation, somebody would doubtless ask me something, to bring me into the group. By the end of the evening, if I really feel that I share enough common ground with the group to feel comfortable, I’d probably be looking forward to my next visit, and getting to know these people better.

But like any other community, I couldn’t expect to just be part of “the heart of it” as soon as I step foot in the door. I’d need to get to know these people first. What makes them tick. What do they laugh at? What backgrounds do they have? And they need to get to know the same about me. If there’s enough common ground, I’d probably bond, in varying degrees, with different members of the group and feel at home. OpCom chat is no different.

The fact that they’ll often continue with their banter and comments, without explaining to you what they’re actually talking about, doesn’t mean they’re ignoring you. I’ve yet to experience a newcomers entering the room without at least half of the group saying “hi” and welcoming them. When they do that, aren’t they saying that they’ve noticed and acknowledge you? Just sit back and wait for a natural pause in the conversation, and you’ll most likely find that at least one, if not several, of the group’ll ask you about yourself. Nothing personal, just general stuff, like whether you write on dooyoo, maybe where you’re from and whether you’ve been to the room before. Ice breakers. The trouble here is. a lot of people tend to wander off to other areas of the net while that initial conversation that they felt “out of” is going on, and don’
;t notice when they’re being “spoken” to. That’s hardly the fault of the OpCom Chat members. In fact, I’ve heard them wonder, on more than one occasion, whether the newcomer perhaps feels that he/she’s being ignored.

Sometimes it can appear that the “old timers” are talking over the heads of newcomers, but again, you have to remember that these people have often known each other for a long time, and unless they have to explain what’s been going on in their lives over and over again for ever newcomer, it will be difficult at times to understand what they’re talking about. I feel I know them well enough now, that if two or three were talking about something that obviously wasn’t of much interest to the rest of us, I could ask them to take it to a private chat, and I’ve no doubt they’d respect that and apologise for boring me. But would I have done that 3 months ago? No, of course not. That would’ve been taking a liberty and is damn right rude.

What I’m saying, is that no matter what you may have heard about OpCom, they are not unwelcoming and hostile. They never were to me, and there are several regular members who joined later that have said the same thing. The point is, you can’t expect to log into the chat room and expect everybody to go out of their way to accommodate you. Becoming a member of a group takes time, and unless you’re willing to give it time, you might as well not log in to start with.

So does this mean that anybody can join?

Well, in theory, yes. OpCom have some “unwritten rules” that everybody’s expected to follow, but as long as you respect that, nobody’s going to chase you away. Swearing isn’t popular. That isn’t to say that we never swear though. Of course we do, we’re adults and we’re allowed to swear. It’s how often you swear, and why/when you do it. Every
thing within reason. We can also be very crude, but quite honestly, I have to say that it’s generally done intelligently. Does saying that make me an elitist snob? Well, if it means that people who swear a lot and who are crude in a very basic manner won’t be welcome, something that I wholeheartedly agree with, then maybe I am. It’s about intellect really. There you go – snobbery eh?

But doesn’t “snobbery”, in one form or another, exist in all sub-communities? If somebody says “oh, I don’t like them; they think they’re too clever for us”, isn’t that also a form of snobbery? If a person’s criticised because he/she uses big words or laughs at subtleties that’d go straight over their heads, is that really any better? Surely it’s just a matter of like seeking like? Not that I consider myself exceptionally intellectual or anything but y’know, everything’s relative and compared with some…..

To be honest, I think most of the hostility lies with those who don’t fit into the OpCom Chat community, for whatever reason. I “talk” to a lot of people around dooyoo, either through tooyoo, MSN, OpCom or email. I’m reasonably adjustable, and can get along with most people, and try to see things from several sides. I can understand why some people don’t feel comfortable in OpCom Chat, everybody doesn’t get along with everybody and that’s the way things will always be, but for the life of me, I can’t understand why some people feel the need to be so hostile towards the members of OpCom Chat, just because they’re not on the same wavelength. Why not just accept that we’re all different? Not necessarily better or worse, just different.

According to several of the “old-timers”, OpCom Chat hasn’t really changed that much since the arrival of tooyoo and more people finding the chat
room. Sure, there are quite a few new regulars in there, but the one’s who stick around are the ones that fit in with the established group. People come and go in any group, and things change to a degree, but on the whole, those who have been around a while enjoy it equally as much today as they always have.

Some people never even give the room a chance. If that’s because they simply don’t like to spend time chatting on the net, fair enough, but if it’s because they’ve already made up their minds that they won’t like, then that’s an unfortunate shame. People imagine all sorts of things. I’ve heard some say that they don’t want to spend their evenings discussing “politics and all that heavy stuff”. Err…. excuse me, but I can’t remember ever discussing politics in there. Sure, politics may get mentioned now and then, but that’s far from what the chat room’s about. I can understand why some would think that though. I mean “The Opinionated Community” sounds pretty deep doesn’t it? As if we all spend our evenings with in depth discussion of current events.

One member suggested that OpCom should stand for the Open Community instead. I’m not sure that I agree, but I can agree with the sentiment behind it, because it certainly isn’t the closed community that people imagine it to be. It really is a solid group of friend who’ve shared their thoughts and feelings together, and if there’s one thing that you can be absolutely certain of, nobody will judge you on the basis of your background. We all have a story.

For most members, it’s the fact that the group is non-judgemental that keeps them coming back. We can be ourselves in there. I’m pretty sure that if I’d made my living as a prostitute or was a drug-addict, that wouldn’t have made any difference to them. They’d look beyond, to the pe
rson.

One member recently pointed out how some people tend to think that we all sit around talking about dooyoo. Oh heck…. do you really think I’m that boring? I know I don’t have much of a life, but jeez…. gimme a break! There’s more to life than dooyoo! Of course it’ll be mentioned now and then, that’s pretty obvious when most members of OpCom Chat are also members of dooyoo, but it’s never the main event. Which reminds me. Don’t come into the chat room expecting to plug your ops. It won’t work. It just isn’t the done thing.

I’ve also heard it said that the OpCom “elite” think that their opinions are better than anybody else’s work, and down rate everybody else. What utter b*llocks! I’ve had plenty of “hate mail” from people who haven’t liked being given a U, but never once have any of them been from the OpCom community. And that isn’t because I haven’t U’d some of their work either! Just as some of them have U’d some of my ops. I think you’ll find that most are just trying to follow “the ethos of dooyoo” (for what it’s worth these days) because they know that unless only the most useful opinions are given a VU, dooyoo will cease to exist. By and large, they’re strict, but fair. If you can’t handle that, fair enough, but just as you wouldn't change to their way of thinking, don’t expect them to change to yours. It’s so much easier to just agree to differ and all get along reasonably comfortably.

Young or old, you’ll be equally as welcome. At 41, I’m one of the older members. The youngest member, Pete, is 14. Most are probably somewhere between 25 – 30. Pete told me that he’d originally been apprehensive of the room, because we’re all adults and he didn’t think he’d fit in. He also thought that because we 
220;do all this writing with all the long words and stuff”, we’d all be snobs, but admits that he was wrong. He gave it a chance, and it worked for him. However, another youngster that joined about the same time, has been banned from the room. He would probably say we’re snobs and that we didn’t like him being a kid, or something along those lines, but wouldn’t Pete have been banned too, if that were really the case? It was the second person’s behaviour that got him banned, not his age or lack of ability to use big words. My daughter’s 16 and can be found in the chat room most evenings. She doesn’t say a whole lot in the main room, but she enjoys “listening” to us, and chats regularly with several others on a one-to-one basis. Several other members have “children” who join in too, and some partners have become active even though they rarely or never actually use dooyoo.

Adults or not, OpCom Chat can indeed be gloriously childish, something that can also be off putting to newcomers. It can be difficult to be childish amongst people you don’t know too well. We’re just having fun though. Just the other evening I went into a sulk. Not a proper one, but having been “accused” of lowering the tone, I said I’d keep my mouth shut from now on. A bet was on as to whether I’d manage it, so I started using “actions” (a command that can be used in the chat room) to “think” things, thus getting my points across without actually speaking. In the end, everybody joined in, and we had a whole conversation without actually “saying” anything. We were all laughing ourselves silly in the end, but a newcomer might not have found it so funny. We have virtual parties, virtual feuds, and it’s even been known for a couple of members to play virtual ping pong. How? Don’t even ask.

Did I forget to mention virtual orgies? Ram
pant sex parties where the men are trying to get the women to strip in front of their webcams and share their fantasies in detail? No, I didn’t forget. It just doesn’t happen, that’s all. There’s plenty of innuendo flying about, but I’ve never felt that anybody has seriously been coming on to anybody else. Sure, some have “found” each other through dooyoo and OpCom, but it isn’t a pick-up joint. It’s unfortunate that chat rooms in general have such a bad reputation, but whatever you’ve heard, OpCom isn’t like that. Well at least if you ignore the fact that one member makes his living selling pornography on ebay. (Sorry, that last bit was an “in” joke. We’re not supposed to do that are we? That’d make us “cliquey” I guess).

So if we don’t have rampant sex parties or discuss politics or dooyoo all that often, is it all just childish nonsense? No, of course not. Sometimes the conversation can become very deep and souls are laid open. Just as I’ve often gone away from the chat room with tears of laughter streaming from eyes that are begging for sleep, I’ve also come away crying for very personal reasons. Believe me, if you do fit in, you’ll be hard pushed to find a stronger group of friends anywhere else on the net. I’ve been around for a good few years now and only once before have I ever found an online community that can be compared with OpCom Chat. These people really care about each other. Maybe they won’t always be there for me; life changes and people move on, but right now they’re my friends, and I’ve a feeling that some will be for a long time yet.

Why not come over and join us, and see how you feel? There’s generally somebody around after 9 in the evening, and it’s a rare occasion that everybody’s left before 2am. Just remember that people are different. Not everybody fits in s
traight away and some never do. There is a chance that you might just enjoy our company, and if you don’t at least sit down and spend a while with us, you’ll never find out. Be warned though – it’s very addictive! If, however, you don’t enjoy us, please don’t knock us. We’re no better or worse than you. Just different.



Links and stuff:

OpCom Forum: http://dooyoo.community.everyone.net/community/scr ipts/directory.pl

Tooyoo: http://www.hotshotsdesigns.co.uk/tooyoo/

How to access OpCom Chat through mIRC:

Irc network: chat.planetz.net
Port: 7000
Channel: #opinionated

Or download The Knight’s script from http://dooyoo-uk.tripod.com/chat/software.html

If you don’t already use mIRC and would like to try the chat room, I suggest going in through either OpCom or tooyoo. MIRC can be difficult to understand if you’ve never set it up before, but if you enjoy the room and want to advance to mIRC (it gives you more options and is more fun) then just ask for help in the room. Somebody there’ll no doubt be happy to oblige.



(Jill Murphy asked me to write about one of my favourite things to help her celebrate her fourth anniversary of cancer-free living and to remind ourselves of all the nice things in the world. It takes more muscles to make a frown than a smile you know. If you'd like to join in, whether you've only just joined dooyoo, or you've been here ages, you're more than welcome. Just write about one of YOUR favourite things, make your title "A Favourite Thing: [your choice]" and include this paragraph at the foot of your opinion. And post before Friday, 9th August)


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