Topless In Liverpool - That's Dumb (dumblaws.com)

Member Name: shewhosmiles

Product:	dumblaws.com
Date:	07/08/02 (1052 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Funny, Interesting, Easy to navigate

Disadvantages: Can spend too long on there

Whenever I want a laugh I try a search on Google using key words like funny, comedy or dumb.

I like dumb facts and the dumber they are the more my fancy is tickled. I've been on dumblaws.com a few times and hadn't thought to write about it until I spotted this category.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

The site is quick to load, but I am on broadband and I think that's quicker anyway - correct me if I'm wrong techies.

The background to the home page is white and a bit bright. A picture of a gavel coming out of a hole too small for it is on the left of the headline Dumb Laws, which is in black print and on a blue background. Underneath that one of those annoying flashing banners asking you if you want to take an online survey for $4 cash. I thought wooby doo but then I remembered the penny a read from Ciao.

At first I thought that there didn't look to be too much on the site, but my designers eye was pleased with the well defined links and lots of white space as opposed to a busy page with tiny print that you have to strain to read or search through for anything of interest.

CONTENT

Fasten your seat belts it’s time to take a tour with me. Listed in the centre of the page are 5 links. We’ll get straight down to the nitty gritty by clicking on United States Laws.

We are warned on this page and throughout the site that many of the laws have been verified but some have been taken from other sites, newsgroups and visitors to the site. I like this bit ‘Keep in mind that this is an entertainment site, we wouldn't recommend using our laws as evidence in court, unless you'd like the judge to laugh you into jail!’, especially after reading some of the laws which are categorised into 50 states. Many of the states don’t have any dumb laws listed – yet, the site is continuously being added to.

Living in Arkansas must be a pain. Did you know that a stat

e law says that a man can legally beat his wife no more than once a month? I can just imagine a judge saying “Jail for you mate, its only 30 days since you battered your missus. If you’d waited another couple of days you wouldn’t be in bother unless you keep your pet alligator in a bathtub or performed oral sex, which is considered to be sodomy.

Quickly moving along, I see that in Little Rock dogs aren’t allowed to bark after 6.00 pm. They must muzzle the men too because flirtation between men and women isn’t allowed on the streets and may earn them a 30 day prison sentence. Nothing much to do there then except for walking your cow, but not after 1 pm on Sunday mind.

Goodbye Arkansas, hello Colorado. In Denver you aren’t allowed to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbour, a good enough excuse not to do the cleaning. It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep in Logan County, but it doesn’t say where! Be careful if you have cats and live in Sterling, you have to fit them with a taillight if they are running loose.

Oh well let’s go to Connecticut where a state law tells you that a pickle isn’t officially considered a pickle unless it bounces. Didn’t know that pickles bounced, did you? In Devon you’d better not try to walk backwards after sunset or kiss your wife on Sundays. Educating your dog in Hartford is also a crime.

Texas seems to be just as whacky. Girls be careful, you can’t promote the use of or own more than 6 dildos, nor can you entertain yourself by reading the Encyclopaedia Britannica. That’s banned because it contains a recipe for brewing beer at home. It gets worse; it’s illegal to drink more than three sips of beer at a time while standing in Le Fors. I guess that when you have fallen down drunk it’s ok to throw it down your neck.

In Clarendon you can’t dust a public building with
a fe
ather duster, they must be reserved for feet tickling torture. Somebody messed up in Houston. You can’t buy beer after midnight on a Sunday, but you can on Monday. Beware of curry belly or bean feasts in Port Arthur; obnoxious odours may not be emitted while in an elevator.

That was fun but now it’s time to click on the second link International Laws. I’ll start with England and straight to Liverpool where it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store. The funniest one so far I think.

In York Scotsmen beware. It is legal to shoot you with a bow and arrow except for on Sundays. The Welsh are looked after in Hereford. It is illegal to shoot them on Sundays with a long bow in Cathedral Close. I would be careful in Chester though - you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

Throughout England all steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads, and it is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle. Of course if you are a London taxi driver you’ll need to avoid wetting the bale of hay and sack of oats that it is compulsory for you to carry. Be it a train or bus we women must be careful what we nibble on, as it is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.

If you visit the queen you must remember that it is illegal to stand within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks. Don’t let your dog near the royal corgies either - any commoner who permits his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal House will suffer the severest penalties. Off with your head, or if you want to be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will get you there.

There isn’t much for the rest of the world, maybe other countries are mor
e sensible
. They could be in China because you have to be intelligent to go to college. No problem with having to urinate on the back wheel of your car in Scotland, there if somebody knocks on the door and asks to use the loo you have to let them in. Not a laughing matter in Switzerland - a man may not relieve himself while standing up, after 10 p.m.

Canada provides a bit more fun. In Alberta when you are released from prison it is the law that you must be given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town. You’d have trouble riding into town in New Brunswick because driving on the roads is not allowed. Don’t bother to water your lawn when it’s raining in New Brunswick, it’s not allowed. Geulph, Ontario is a no-pee zone but in Cobourg you must fill the water trough in your front yard by 5 am. I could be flogging a dead horse with this op but if I go to Toronto I’ll be careful not to drag it down Yonge Street on Sundays.

Apologies if this op is getting too long, the site entertains me and I wanted to share some of that with you. The third link leads to discussion forums where you can make suggestions for the site, discuss and comment on laws or make your own fake laws up for fun. Other topics are politics, dumb criminals, dumb lawsuits and dumb warnings. There is also a playground forum where you can post jokes, silly stories or anything else that might amuse you.

The fourth link is Live Chat where you can have a natter with whoever is online. I didn’t join that so I can’t tell you what it’s like. Last but not least to the site owners is a link to the page on Amazon where for $10.36 you can buy the book ‘You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant’ 101 Real Dumb Laws written by the Dumb Law site owners. I might buy this for my son-in-law he loves anything different.

Back to the home page at the top of the grey sidebar there is a drop down box whe
re you can clic
k on the place of your choice and go straight to the appropriate page. Underneath that there is a link to a page where you can learn how to advertise on the site. I’m not into this type of advertising but the rates don’t look too bad, for instance it costs only $50 for a banner with 10,000 impressions or up to $10,000 for 10,000,000 impressions. While I was looking around the banner on the home page changed to a less irritating one offering 250 free business cards. The colour of that one blended in better with it’s surroundings and looks more part of the site.

MONEY!!!

If you know of any verified dumb laws you can earn money for contributing them. $3 if you send them a law with details of where to find it for verification and $10 if you send a law with the citation and code number. $10 can also be earned if you can verify any of the laws on the site that aren’t already verified. But …. The offer has been put on hold from July 30th until they can clear their backlog up. They make their payments by PayPal so once they are open for contributions again there are no problems with cheques that cost more to cash than they are worth.

FINAL OBSERVATIONS

I like dumblaws.com and the other dumb sites: criminal acts, bumpers, facts and warnings. They are interesting, easy to navigate and of an attractive and not too fussy design. I’m totally jealous of the owners because I think that it’s a great idea to build up and with advertising and books to sell I can see a good earning potential, and especially if they have more good or dumb ideas to develop.

Summary: