At last a oraginal funny site thats not just out to make money. I'll give you three guesses what it's all about, yep thats right, they took Bert from Sesame Street and made him look evil. The site has got "pictures" of Bert with various evil people like Hitler etc and try and put him everywhere anything bad has happened. It's all quite funny but some of it is totally hilarious. There are also interviews with Bert's friends which are really funny as well. The only bad thing about this site is that there really isn't a whole lot of content in it but it's mostly of good quality. I believe thats the guy that started the site retiring to bask in his glory after creating one of the most funny and original things on the net. I recommend you check it out although some of it can be slightly offensive but it's all in good humour. Not the kind of site that you would visit again and again but worth a look if your into that kind of bizarre comedy.
Propaganda rocks. This is true. Also true, is the fact that the slightly camp - though incredibly educational - US children's TV programme Sesame Street does indeed, rock. There you go - bet you'd never see those two words together in an introductory paragraph. You've heard of Sesame Street. It's not a question, it's a fact. For around four decades, the daily adventures of Henderson's Big Bird, Cookie Monster and Elmo have captivated all but the most fickle of sprogs on a wet Wednesday afternoon. Famed for the comprehensive, effective method that it uses to approach such important issues as the alphabet and counting, Sesame Street has since become a cult show, both with children, and er, those slightly older. But for such a wholesome, vibrant show on the surface, Sesame Street - along with several other children's shows (The Magic Roundabout, Teletubbies and Rainbow to name but three) has had it's fair share of adult concern. Strange, maybe. Over-critical - overprotective? Maybe. But perhaps the darker associations that for so long have plagued Sesame Street for so many years are slightly more valid, if not more disturbing, than the debate over whether sixties' canine icon Dougal was erm, under the influence. Most famously, at the centre of the Sesame Street scandal, lie lovable duo Bert and Ernie. It seems having orange and yellow skins respectively, is not enough cause for concern alone, so question marks were soon raised elsewhere, regarding just how lovable the wide-eyed puppets actually were. You can almost see the validity of the concerns, even if merely approaching the subject with a highly tongue-in-cheek outlook. Two male characters, presumably adult. Shared accomodation. Hell, shared bed - shared bath, even. Best buddies. Short sentences. It's obvious what the parental concerns initially were to be, no? No? Read it again. Could Bert and Ernie possibly be more than just best buddies? Y'see?
Um. It's just bizarre really, isn't it? But, believe it or not, this issue was of major concern at around the time Sesame Street first hit our screens. Sure enough, both soon became internationally-recognised gay icons and Sesame Street was all-too famous for the wrong reasons. Yet with a case such as this bound to be eternally unresolved, only a matter of decades later came Teletubby Tinky Winky with his swinging handbag and purple Gay Pride associations, and it was Pre-school homosexuality debates all over again. Personally, I thought Po was always perhaps the most obvious choice. So then, Bert and Ernie, already with a catalogue of publicised scandal behind them, have obviously had their fair share of problems. Nevertheless, the bedsharing, the bathsharing continued. It seemed that for once, perhaps they could 'best buddies' without the media hype. But no. The mid-nineties - and one Dino Ignacio - brought new shame on the bushy-eyebrowed couple. No longer were the question marks over Bert and Ernie's sexual preferences the priority: even more sinister accusations lay in store. Fascinated by the internet - and other such irrelevancies as the 'Mr. T Ate My Balls' and the 'Captain Kirk Singalong' websites, Ignacio felt an urge to exert his own creative wafflings onto the information superhighway. The fledgling brainchild of Ignacio - his Fractal Cow archive - became the launchpad to er, launch these allegations against Bert, the more mature of the duo. You know the one I'm talking about, right? Ernie's the short one; Bert tall. Ernie loud, squeaky; Bert not. Indeed, the unknowing yellow TV icon was to become the perfect target for Ignacio and his heinous plans. Which leads us to Bert is Evil (http://fractalcow.com/bert.htm), really. Gay or not, Bert's in for a whole lot worse accusations here. According to Ignacio, Bert is, er, evil. Bedsharing with another male? Ah, who cares. Accordin
g to this, Bert is responsible for most of the recent media scandals worldwide. Ernie? Who knows? Who cares? Indeed, ickle little Ernie has escaped virtually unscathed, if not only by luck. Meanwhile, dear ol' Bert has been subjected to police interviews, arrests, and at the centre of a series of photographic and textual evidence all seemingly proving that indeed he is The Root Of All Evil. Bert is Evil. Um. Note the uppercase e on both occasions, by the way. Evil is a lot worse than evil, even if it is at the beginning of a sentence. Um. Weird. Weird? Yeah. Not only did Ignacio achieve his goal of getting his site onto the 'Weird Wide Web' page of Internet Underground magazine, but the accusations against Mr. Sesame Street himself held up sufficiently for the site to win two awards at the coveted 'Webby' awards ceremony in 1997: 'Weirdest Website' and the 'People's Voice' award. Bizarre? Yep. But I told you it would be, didn't I? What's it about? Oh, god knows. This is, essentially, one of the most twisted, satirical sites you may ever come across, if you're that bored that you'll actually look for something like it. Basically this is where The Accused (step foward, Bert) is er, accused. Nothing flashy, just a series of interviews and computer-generated photographs apparently proving that Bert of Sesame Street is a dangerous, dangerous, yellow thing. Here, have the introductory blurb to read yourself: "We have reason to believe that Bert of Sesame Street is evil and you should keep your children away from him. Here in these pages are collected incriminating images and documents that prove that Bert is not the lovable harmless geek he so successfully makes us think he is", and "...with all the recognition this site has gotten, we are still wondering when the Children's Television Workshop will sue us". Nice. Oh. "We"? Lovable harmless geek no
longer, in whatever case. Bert is a criminal. Criminal, I tell you. That's about all of what's on the homepage of Bert is Evil, actually, apart from a 'mug shot of Bert from the San Francisco Police Department", and, brilliantly, the concluding message of "This website was brought to you by the letter H and the CIA". Clever, innit? For the rest of Dino Ignacio's shallow reasonings for unleashing 'Bert is Evil' on an unsuspecting world, read the biography-thingy. There's nothing else for them to be but shallow, really. It's all there, y'know. Actually, it's not really. Um. Ready? Here's the neat, technical website round-up. It's all split into three nice little sections - About This Site, Photo Evidence, and Interviews & Documents. All simple, self-explanatory stuff, really. Not very intellectual, merely what you'd expect from an award-winning weird website. About the Site. What's here then? Well, unsurprisingly, this just tells you about the site. And does it, not very well, it has to be said. More of a history lesson behind Ignacio's Fractal Cow creation than anything else, this is one of those pages which is obligatory to a good site - and not one important to it. More technical stuff, then. Um, yeah. I'm not particularly clued-up on all things websitey, but I know enough to know that this isn't really special - technically, at least. It's all very DIY-style; black background, red titling, white text, presented in official, dossier-style with typewriter-esque (Courier New, in fact) font. For what it's worth, this probably adds to the (already-limited) authenticity, but it'd look even worse with Comic Sans, right? Enuff's enough. Or something. Anyway, red, white, black. But that means nothing. Nothing. Because Bert is still Evil. And now for the interesting bit. The evidence against Bert itself. I couldn't have said it better, if I said: <
br>"Collected here are documents and images that show that Bert is Evil. Many of these documents were submitted by anonymous sources who choose not to be revealed. All the files have been verified and cross-referenced with the FBI and other Intelligence Agencies. The following files may contain graphic information, please proceed with caution", because I'd be saying the exact same thing, wouldn't I? Anyway, that's what it says. The FBI, the CIA, they're all involved in this, y'know. Bert's immediate future is indeed bleak, it seems. But to convict the Evil One himself, you're gonna need evidence, or it's never gonna hold up in court, sucka. Evidence? It is, unfortunately, all here in full technicolour (or black and white, whatever). Yet while the incriminating evidence submitted by the so-called 'anonymous sources' may be nothing more than a series of crudely produced, computer-generated imposed images of Bert as the accused, it's been enough so far. This isn't your everyday criminal, either - accordingly to Ignacio and his sources, at least. This is big-time, serious, stuff. Bert is a big-time, serious, criminal, of course. And an evil one at that. An Evil one, even. Probably. Um, sorry for the quoting, but I'd probably just spoil it if I took it out of context, so here. Who assassinated JFK? Um, whoever you're thinking - you're wrong. Naturally. Because, quite clearly it was Bert, according to the coloured image of him in amongst the crowd besides JFK's car - in a black-and-white photograph. Not exactly concrete evidence I'd say. But Bert is Evil. Evillll. Next? Here. A monochrome image of a spitting image of Bert, sitting besides one Adolf Hitler - "During World War II, General Berhtolomue Kieffer III lead the SS in the burning of the Reichstag. He is known to be one of Hitler's most diabolical Generals. We have reason to believe that he is either a clone or a
n ancestor of Bert". Oh dear, Bert. It runs in the family? Eek. There's more. Whether he be Marijuana-smoking, groping Michael Jackson (or indeed, Pamela Anderson), conspiring with O.J. Simpson, or engaged in an e-mail correspondence with Jeffrey Dahmer, it's all here for the judge to assess. Bert is Evil...isn't he? According to further evidence, yes. The interviews on-site, conducted with the likes of Muppet spokesman himself Kermit the Frog and Mr. Cooper, may just prove to be ickle Bert's most damning evidence against him yet. Heck, even 'best buddy' Ernie is lining up to speak his mind, seemingly after years of behind-doors torment: "The following is an interview with Ernie, best friend, roommate and confidant to Bert. Some scenes deemed explicit by the editor have been cut out, but still remains graphic. Reader's discretion is again stressed".# Ready? Discretion stressed? "....Interviewer: Why do you still live with him then? Ernie: He says if I leave the apartment he'll kill me and Rubber Duckie. Interviewer: He can't possibly be serious. Ernie: He is, he is very capable of this. Once, me and Duckie tried to escape... he almost strangled me to death". And, with tears and yet more emotion to come, there you have it. Evil. Evil. Eviiillll. Ernie can't spell Ducky, either. Bert might be able to, because he's always been the more intelligent of the two, but he murdered John F. Kennedy, so it doesn't really matter.The police might as well give up all their investigations for all unsolved crimes, because it is surely clear for all to see that every finger points directly toward Bert. Or other evil people. Oh, dear boy, why did you leave school so soon? Bert, not me. 'Cause I'm not an internationally-famous, yet loved-by-children criminal, now am I? Propaganda rocks. Not musically, but then, it
9;d never be better than Saves the Day if it did. Sesame Street's even better. But always be suspicious of small yellow guys with a tuft of black hair named Bert. That, quite clearly, is the lesson you have to learn from the Bert is Evil campaign. Um, yeah. I'm tempted to say 'genius' roundabout this paragraph, but I know I really shouldn't. Unless, of course, you're comparing it to other Sesame Street spoof crime sites, in which cases, it's flawless. Otherwise, and more simply, 'tis just recommended viewing, particularly if you're bored, but don't expect any massive long-term interest with this site. Just go back to towniehaters.com instead, why don't ya? Because that's not a lot better, come to think of it. Buddy. Conclusion? Where? On a scale of Sesame Street character-type dudes, this site would have to be Elmo, I'd say. Cute, red, amusing and interesting for a short while, but ultimately pointless and quite possibly annoying in the long run. • This opinion was brought to you by the letter F and the number 12. • http://fractalcow.com/bert.htm
Do you remember Bert, the loveable character from Sesame Street and the Muppets? You know, the one everybody loves, with the cute eyebrows. Well this site claims that he's not quite so cute. 'Bert is evil,' the site author states and then he goes on to show us why. WARNING: Don't let your little kids view this site. It's not suitable and may well upset them. The author of this sites rattles on in a rather long piece of editorial and tells us all about how and why he decided to make this site. Dino Ignacio (his name) goes on and on about exactly what he did to make this successful and to get onto the 'world weird web' listing. He might have spent a lot of time on it but this site isn't really very well executed. It's just a few pages of pictures (poor ones with bad resolution) with white text on a black background. You can choose to go back to the 'main' page by clicking on a button but there isn't any more navigation. So what proof is there that 'Bert is Evil'? Well I must admit that I found some of the pictures and explanations of Bert's involvement in world shattering events quite amusing. There's Bert at the JFK Assassination...clear evidence of his involvement! Hitler with his favourite general Berhtolomue Kieffer 111. Certainly clear evidence of a friendship betwen these two. Then there are the crop circles in the shape of Bert's head. Very weird and certainly an indication that there is something inherantly weird in his ways. Does Bert have links with extra-terrestrials? A weird 'Bert' formation has also been photographed on the surface of Mars. Bert's head is clearly visible here. Further evidence of his secret links with the men from outerspace. There are lots more pictures, mostly in black and white. I did find that some of them were quite slow to load and there was too much explanatory
text. The writing was a bit long-winded and I was getting bored before I had read through it all. Further evidence is contained in the interview files. There's an interview with Kermit the frog who explains that Bert's violence began with the 'bottle cap incident'. (You''ll have to go and read it for yourself if you're curious about this one.) There are more interviews with Elmo, Ernie and other Sesame Street characters who profess to know Bert well. Overall I would say that this is quite an amusing site although it's not very well constructed. It's a great shame because it has the potential for being really good. The author has all the material there but doesn't display it very well, or make it easy to navigate. Inspite of that it's worth a look.
Anyone who remembers the American children's television show Sesame Street will remember Bert as one of its principal characters. This site pays dubious homage to that character, by exposing him as being a creature of pure evil, who has had a deciding hand in many of the world's most famous events. Now to me, Bert has always looked pretty damn evil, something to do with those eyebrows I think, but at last this site truly exposes him for the criminal mastermind that he is! What you get here is a collection of photographs and interview evidence with fellow co-stars including such television giants as Kermit the Frog and even reproductions of email correspondence between Bert and Jeffrey Dahmer! Well the evidence is pretty conclusive. We see Bert in the crowd at the Kennedy assassination, Bert on Jerry Springer, with OJ Simpson and Hitler and numerous other historial figures...as well as starring in am uncut version of a Pamela Anderson-Lee home movie... Whilst the website is all very well laid out etc. the content is rather weak. There are about 15 photos with descriptions and five interviews but that is about it. The humour doesn't really hit the mark either, I'm sure someone could have thought of a few funnier topics than rape and molestation...is this funny? Not to me and I found the whole thing whilst clever in some parts, to be pretty much in poor taste in the others. At best it raises a smile occassionally. What is worrying is that a search for Sesame Street and Bert brings you to this site as its top hit on the two search engines I tried...no warnings for kids to keep out here either...sometimes I hate the internet. However, forget that for a moment, I suppose there is nothing too graphic here, but I still have a problem because the site is pretty dull in general. A few more 'funny' pictures and ideas wouldn't go amiss, but as it stands, there is little to hold your attention. Take a peek if you
are really bored, it'll waste five minutes of your time, otherwise surf on by...there's really nothing to see.
Back in 1995, Dino Ignacio created a site proving that one loveable muppet was not as innocent as he appeared. It wasn't until today that I found that site and learned that... <dramatic pause> ...Bert is Evil. At first I ignored the site's title, believing that no muppet could have a mischievous bone in his body (because Jim Henderson the Creator-of-All-That-Is-Marvellously-Muppety did not design any) but after looking at the extensive photographic evidence and reading an interview with Kermit, I came to the conclusion that for many years Bert had been hiding something. (Kermit is my hero. Kermit would not lie. Kermit is a frog.) Bert has been on Jerry Springer for harrassing women, Bert has been linked to mysterious crop circles, Bert has been photographed in bed with Pamela Anderson, Bert has terrorised the inhabitants of Sesame Street, Bert was the original suspect in the Unabomber case, Bert has... well, in short, Bert has been a bad bad muppet. Discovering all this has been soul destroying, but at least now I know the secret. After reading what I've written, you too may feel incredulous and you too may seek to deny the facts. However, they're 100% believable and not at all made up. "Bert is Evil" tells the truth! Never let your children watch Sesame Street again! (Well... you've got to let them watch Kermit, but maybe you can distract them when Bert is on...) For educating the world about Sesame Street's darkest secret, "Bert is Evil" has won one of the most prestigious website awards there is - a Webby Award. See the facts for yourself at: http://fractalcow.com/bert/ "This Website has been brought to you by the letter H and the CIA."
This site is dedicated to the loveable character 'BERT' from Sesame Street, the site name practically gives away what the whole site is about to be fair. The idea is that they take this much-loved character and put him in photos to make him appear evil. I would just like to warn you if you have kids who like Bert and Sesame Street, do not let them see this site, it will scare them forever, in fact....it has really hurt me on the inside. There are three main sections of this site, it has a column written by the original creator saying why he designed the site. It has some pictures of Bert in various procarious positions with different people, and it has some 'interviews' with certain of Bert's friends. First of all, let us look at why this site was created, it was created by what seems to be a youngish lad, who basically had nothing better to do and just wanted to create a wacky website that would get attention. He did exactly that, at first I thought that the site was maybe not that original, but it would appear that the site has in fact been running for a few years. So I will give him the benefit of the doubt and say it was quite a cool idea. There are a series of 24 photos, each with a description, each one has Bert standing some where, it could be with someone, or in one case raping some one, I have to say that I found some of the pictures a little bit twisted and not really that funny. But some of them have me laughing out loud here in my college IT room (which is just a little bit embarrassing). Then there are the interviews, I have to say that the one with Ernie is really funny, especially the reference about the rubber ducky, for anyone who has ever watched Sesame street in there life. But the Elmo one is also worth checking out, the interviews are quite short, but they are still really good, the one with Elmo really has some good character things of Elmo, the
way he says his own name a lot for one. The site has won awards, and I am sure has a huge amount of hits, I really suggest that you should check out this site, it is funny in places and a little offending in others, but well worth a look. Having spent a bit of time on this site, one must ask themselves how this site has not been shut down. I mean, I do not have a problem with it, and believe strongly in free speech over the internet, but I would have thought that Sesame Street and Television workshop would have been running in with the lawyers, the creator actually said that he wondered how he had not been sued. Maybe this says something for free speech, anyway, rounded up, this is easily one of the weirdest pages on the net, original and fairly funny, if only the rest of the internet was quite as original. This site could only really be visited once, there a few pictures, and the interviews, but nothing that will make you go back time and time again, it just doesn't have enough content, well worth a one time visit. MrT 7/10
For those of you who ever watched sesame street. You will remember Ernie and Bert. Ernie is the one who likes his rubber ducky and Bert is the one who has a thing for oatmeal and Pidgeons. This site has been set up to show that Bert is not as innocent as he may seem. It shows photo evidence of Bert being evil. And with many celebrities too. It is a funny site. The only thing is that it doesn't often get new pictures etc on it. It can be very offensive to some. So if you are that type of person then please do not visit this site. I personally don't feel it is the site you could go back to over and over. Once you have seen it there doesn't seem to be much attraction any more.
If you happen not to have followed this link from my profile then here's a site you really need to see - http://fractalcow.com/bert/bert.htm The site is based on an FBI type X-file concerning Bert from Sesame Street and his wicked ways! The site is really funny and some of the theories have had my whole office rolling around on the floor laughing. Be sure to look through the photo evidence when you visit. I wont spoil it oo much for you but the missing Excert from the Pamela Lee video really has to be seen, not to mention Woodstock. As with most humour sites this one is a definate case of someone with too much time on their hands but having said that all the best ones are! This site really will have you questioning the 'loveable' Bert's character, particulary when you see how he tried to hook kids on heroin with the Tickle Me Elmo doll! Not really a site for youngster as ther is some strong language, and it will probably scar them for life - or at least for the next time they watch Sesame Street!