He's better at sex than anyone. Now all he needs is a partner. (insults.net)

Member Name: Sarccyslayer

Product:	insults.net
Date:	26/08/03 (279 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: keeps one amused, very funny, Very rude

Disadvantages: When people use the insults on you

Well what can i say, this website - www.insults.net is perfect for me and my sarcastic nature.

I found this website over a year ago and i have to say i havent spent many an hour reading through it to find the perfect insult or saying for someone who has annoyed me or who is annoying me or even worse that i hate!!

(",) The Website (",)

Once you have clicked on the link to get to insults.net you are faced with an introductory welcome from the site team which tells you what you can expect to find on this site - "We're dedicated to bringing you some interesting, informative, humourous, educational, you name it - insults, insulting quotes, sayings, putdowns and acidic quotations !

You'll find here loads of insults divided up into various categories from all walks of life and society. From famous people to national sayings you'll find it all here." (taken from insults.net)

There is also a direct link to their sister site scatty.com where you can find lots of jokes to keep you even more amused.

To the left of the screen there is an index of insults:

*Around the World* - here we have a list of insults from all over the world, places such as India, Spain, Greece, Swtizerland etc..... here it lists who said the insult and who it is about.

Example - "A demon took a monkey to wife - the results, by the grace of God, was the English" Indian saying

*Chat-up/Put down* - this place give you the perfect chat up line or put down avaliable, so whenever you are out with your mates and you lecherous creep tries it on remember to check this site out!

Example - "What radio station would you like me to switch on in the morning?
Hospital radio." I think that is brilliant - makes note to self to remember it.

*Classical* - This is where you can find quotations from all kinds of classical people.

Example - "One more such vi
ctory and we are lost"
Phyrrhus, on beating the Romans at the Battle of the Asculum

*Especially for kids* - This is wacky insults for kids, not that they need any help!

Example - "When they were giving out looks, you thought they said books, and you said "Give me something funny"

*Everyday insults* - This is my favourite part of the site, an insult every time you need one. Ranging from appearances to rather unpleasant ones!

Example - "Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly" OUCH :o(

*Expressions* - here you will find hundreds of expressions to drop into conversations, ive had a lot of fun with these recently!

Example - "He's so horny that the crack of dawn had better be careful" Oo-er, some of them are very rude so some of you will fee right at home ;o)

*Graves and Epitaphs* - This is where you can read some epitaphs on some famous people and some not so famous,

Example - "Here lies my wife: here let her lie ! Now she's at rest and so am I"
John Dryden (1631-1700) on his wife

*Insulting Humour* - Not that i need any help with this whatsoever, here you can find some insulting sarcasm to say to your best friends......if you want to make them your enemies!

Example - I've just come back from the beauty parlor, What a pity it was closed!

*Misc.* - I never go to this section, not really sure what it is for, it lists a set of one liners which dont really mean anything, nor are they funny....however....

Example - Finish smoking or I will finish you - Lasse Viren

*Political insults* - Here we have a list of insults from American and British political figures, some of them are about other politicians.

Example - "In politics if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman" - the delightful Maggie Thatcher!

*Read
ers insults* - This is a list of insults which people have sent into the website, some of them are hilariously funny and some of them......well they tried!

Example - Hey buddy that's a nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance? - Shane

*Shakespeare* - Listed here are all of Shakespeare's plays. You click on one and read all the insults that are within!

Example - Romeo and Juliet - She speaks yet she says nothing.

*Showbusiness* - This section gives a list of celebrities insulting one another and recently added is a list of Red Dwarf insults which are classic! All the episode's are listed with a list of insults.

Example - " Kryten: (Removing the mask) But if people see my face, what are they going to think?
Rimmer: Tell them you had an accident. Tell them you took your car to the crushers and forgot to get out! " Taken from the Episode Backwards.

*Sport* - A list of insults and sayings on Cricket can be found here.

Example - "A cricketer - a creature very nearly as stupid as a dog" - Bernard Levin 1965

*insults A to Z* - Listed here is everything avalible on the website from A to Zee.

Example - London, dirty little pool of life - BM Malabari

*Yo Mamma* - The best part of the site is for Yo mamma Jokes and some of them are so funny i would share them all with you if i could be bothered to type them. But instead i will share my favourite one with you, taken from this site:

Example - "Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please" PMSL........

(",)Other features(",)

*Random insult generator* - You are given a list of options to generate a random insult. So for example if i put a tick in the following boxes :

Abuse level required - Intense Abuse
Sex - Male
Political View - Democrat
Intelligience Average
Weight - Average

Appearance - Average

Then i click on the insult "You puss sucking Pink Homo butt licking pecker" is the reply! Charming!

*How do i swear in .......?* Okay so your going to a foreign country and you want to be upto date with swearing over there, here we have a list of countries and how to swear!

Example - Im off to Slovakia on Wednesday so ive clicked on Slovene:

"jebi se" - go f*ck yourself - charming! Thats one i wont be using!

(",) Extra (",)

If you think any insult has been missed and should be added to the website them there is a link for you to contact them and send it in!

(",) My view(",)

This site is very easy to navigate yourself around, whatever the insult it will be listed within one of the options on the left hand margin.

There are a lot of insults to choose from and if non of them are quite what your looking for them put a few together....not that i condone that sort of behaviour ever ;o)!!

I really like this site, it keeps me amused for hours and being a sarcastic kind of person it does appeal to me every now and again when im running out of quick witted comments to make!

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