A VERY UGLY SITUATION (mingers.com)

Member Name: W Shakespeare

Product:	mingers.com
Date:	06/10/01 (1364 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Makes all your old flames look much better in retrospect

Disadvantages: Can be difficult for the truly ugly

Mingers.com – the home of the facially inept, is brought to you by Gert – the “spokesman for the minging generation”. Intrigued? Then read on...

A ‘minger’ (avoid embarrassing yourself at dinner parties by ensuring you rhyme it with ‘singer’ and not ‘ginger’, for example, when declaring “I enjoy looking at photos of big hairy mingers”) is what the Americans politely call ‘homely’. It can be generally described as someone seemingly related to either Andrew Lloyd Webber or Janet Street Porter. Or both.

Let’s face it. The Mona Lisa aside, none of us are oil paintings. Logging on to mingers.com won’t make you any less facially-challenged, but it’ll make you a lot more grateful for your facial lot.

Gert has kindly divided the site into easily accessible sections. These include:

1) Minger of the Week – Pretty self explanatory. A photo of a minger. It’s there for a week. It’s not pretty.

2) The Gert Box – Leave a message for the sharp-witted Gert and read his reply. Gert appears to have accepted his minging-ness and so isn’t easily offended. Which is a good job because he has a face like a smacked arse.

3) The Gallery – Tony Hart would be turning in his grave...if he was dead yet. Some truly ghastly fizzogs for you to peruse in your own time, sub-divided into a number of categories:

Fakes – There are a lot of counterfeit mingers out there. Be smart. Be on the look-out. Together we can crack fake-minger crime.

Readers – If your ugly and proud, go for it. Or you’re a little on the shy side, post some photos of your ugly mates without telling them. Remember the world is laughing at you, not with you.

Classics – Mingers you’ll want to treasure and grimace at time and time again. If they were horses, they’d be dog food by now.


Look-a-Likes – My personal favourites are Martina Navratilova, Austin Powers and ZZ Top. Spooky.

Teeth – Go on have an ‘OJ Simpson’ (a wild, stab in the dark) about what these mingers possess – correct, a scary pair of gnashers in true Scottish footballer style.

Couples – You know that famous old phrase – “They really deserve each other”?

4) The Shop – A whole range of accessories to transform the bold and the beautiful into absolute hounds. Ranging from the 'I don't do mingers’ t-shirts and “minging” Billy Bob teeth to the nerd specs and afro wig. Please be warned though, there is a picture of a very attractive blonde woman on this page. Frankly, I was appalled.

5) E-cards – As the site says “mail your mate a minger”. If they’e anything like my mates, they’ll already have their hands full of ‘em.

So, if you’ve a few idle minutes to spare, I would recommend a visit to this site, if only to satisfy yourself that there are people a lot uglier than you are.

No, believe me, there are.

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