The internet - a great way to perk up your social life . (Your online social life)

Member Name: thehonesttruth

Product:	Your online social life
Date:	20/06/09 (29 review reads)
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I think its fair to say that in these days, with computers and internet connections in almost every home, a lot more people are using the internet, not just as a research tool, but as a social tool - getting in touch with old friends via sites like friends reunited, or updating us every few hours on sites such as twitter .

I'm going to talk about my internet social life in two sections - one section for when I was younger, and a section dealing with how I use the internet now . In each section, I'll also talk a little about my real life - I'm not intentionally going off topic though - I feel my real life has in part led to my internet usage being the way it is.

My Internet Social Life - The Younger Years

Meet the 14 year old me - a skinny (oh, how I long to go back) shy, socially awkward kid. I grew up with parents in the army, and we moved around a lot when I was young . I found it hard to make friends, because I was never certain how long I was going to have friends for . When I was 14, my parents got the internet.

At this time, I'd been living in Nottingham for 3 years (my longest stint up til then of living in a single place) . I didn't have many friends at school , partly because of my shyness, and partly because I was the kid with the posh accent who went to church and was part chinese.

Initially, I used the internet mainly for help with homework . I set up an email address (not that I had anyone to email) and generally just got on with things. After a little while, I started noticing adverts for chat rooms, and bravely ventured into one .

I didn't realise how it worked at first - it took me a little while to figure out which chats were whispers meant only for me, and which were general for the whole room to see. Gradually though, I started venturing into private chats. The first question I was always asked was a/s/l , short for age/sex/location. Often, when I said I was 14, people would say I was too young to talk to, but other times people didn't mind, and occasionally, I would meet someone my own age.

But, meeting someone my own age was rare, and a lot of the older people I talked to I had nothing in common with - and some of them were downright creepy, asking all kinds of personal questions, about my boobsize, where I lived, etc . I didn't give them any details - not because of any knowledge of internet safety, but because these questions would make me uncomfortable and I would close that particular chat window .

One day, talking to someone my own age, he recommended a chat for younger people, Mystical Realms I believe it was called - I enjoyed this chat much more, there were a lot less requests for cyber, and there was some heavy word filtering, so there was no swearing . I felt safer in here , and it's perhaps for this reason I made a mistake that could, I later realised, have been potentially dangerous.

I got talking to an American called Howard . I never asked his age - since the upper age limit on this chat was declared to be 16, I just assumed he was under 16 . We talked a little about likes and dislikes, and over a few days we kept being in the same chatroom and talking. He asked if we could be penpals - and I liked the idea of having someone to write to, to talk about my life and my problems with . I told him my address, and eagerly waited for his letter .

A few weeks later, a parcel arrived from America - inside was a soft teddy bear, holding a pillow saying 'I Love You' and a couple of photos - one rather innocent photo of a couple of horses which Howard rode, and a photo of Howard himself - not a day under 40 .

My parents were furious, and it was then that I recieved my first lecture on internet safety - not to give out any personal details online to anyone, because you didn't know who they were . The word Paedophile didn't register on my radar then, and my parents never went into any detail, but it was then that I got my first sense that the internet could be dangerous .

My parents then insisted on monitoring my internet use constantly until I was 16 which, I think, was very responsible of them . They didn't stop me using chat rooms, but would sit near me while I was on them, occasionally checking who I was talking to and what was being said. They even once drove me to meet with someone who was close to my own age, Robn, 16 , and we became good friends . But they made sure I never did anything alone .

My Internet Social Life - The Older Years

I moved out of my parents house when I was almost 18, and between then and turning 20, although I had access to the internet via a friends computer in a shared house, I had little interest - I was, like many people my age, busy socialising, flirting, partying and drinking. It wasn't until I got married and moved into my own home, complete with a tiny baby that I began using the internet again .

I went right back onto the chatrooms, only this time, I didn't talk to many men, and I made it abundantly clear that I had no intention of performing cyber sex, or meeting anyone in real life .

I also discovered forums, especially forums for mothers, which I really enjoyed (and still do to this day) because they were a great way to get support and friendship from someone in a very similar situation to myself . As my marriage fell apart, it was great talking to other mums and realising that going it alone didn't make me a failure .

After a while, I got a new boyfriend, Daniel, who, although it didn't last long, introduced me to one of the largest aspects of my internet social life - Online Gaming. I watched over his shoulder as he logged in for the first time to a new online world, and struck up friendships with other players, male and female, of all ages, all over the world . I quickly wanted to join in too, and got the game on my own computer - this was brilliant - I could talk to him while he was in his own home and I was in mine . We could kill dragons together, and fight orcs and goblins . And not just us, but thousands of others, there was always someone new to meet. Me and Daniel slowly fizzled out, but my love of gaming has stayed with me, and to gaming, I owe a number of remarkable friendships (including my current boyfriend), and also, a lot of new interests.

The great thing about gaming for me was that for the first time, I felt I could not be judged, and that if people were judging me, who cared. I didn't - these people, in the majority of cases, lived miles away, often in other countries, so who cared what they thought . I grew a lot more confident, and even began to lead my own linkshell, organising events and missions, and being a leader for once instead of a sheep .

Through friends in the game, I discovered Anime and Japanese pop music, amongst other interests. I also joined a forum related to the game , and loved posting there, being able to answer the questions of other players and generally be useful as more than a mum (I'm not putting being a mum down, its one of the hardest jobs in the world!).

I've also used Facebook to get back in touch with old school friends, and make some entirely new friends, whom I have met in real life, but always with regard to my own safety.

Now, I'm almost 27 - I live alone with my almost 6 year old daughter, and I have an amazing boyfriend, although he lives some way away, that I owe to the internet. I don't get to go out much due to babysitting being an issue, but I have several friends that come round for a beer and a visit, some of whom I also owe to the internet . Kris - the crazy tiny goth photographer, Nick - the flamboyant, incredibly camp and hyperactive fellow gamer. Debbie - An old school friend I lost touch with, now a lingerie designer.

And if none of them can make it round, and I feel a bit lonely, I talk to my boyfriend on skype, log into my game and chat to friends on there, or slip into a chat room and make some new friends .

The internet is an incredible valuable social tool - and particularly for shy people who for whatever reasons are stuck at home most of the time, its a great way to meet new people and stop yourself from getting lonely and depressed . However, with that said , it's important to be safe - never give your details out to someone unless you are very certain you can trust them, and if you do meet someone from the internet, always try to go in company, and let people know where you are going .

Oh, and did I mention Dooyoo ? Some great friends here!

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