Having read an interesting review on this subject I decided to write my own

Despite been in my late 30's I do still have memories of both my sister and I been babysat when we were young children and I think people who generally did only really did once and to those people I apologise.

I do remember many of my teen friends babysitting for children they didn't; even know although I was far too busy looking cool or so I thought hanging around on street corners

Now as a parent myself I do have to think about who I allow to care for my children. I don't have any family to care for my son so is left to rely on friends or professionals.

Why have baby sitters?

It is a chance to go out and be something other than a parent and the frequency does vary from parents partly down to choice and finance.

Who to trust?

I find the concept of a young teenager who doesn't know my son looking after him incomprehensible. If I am to leave the house to go out and enjoy myself then I do need to know that my son is feeling happy and safe. This is not to say he wouldn't prefer me to stay home but to know he is with someone who he can feel secure to meet his needs is not only important for him but also for me.

I do have huge trust issues as a result of his Dad's treatment towards him. When he was only six weeks old I left him with his Dad while he slept in his Moses basket so I could go and lie down and also get a nap. I woke an hour later and found my husband staggering all over the garden as he had decided to take an overdose while my son slept. So from that day I have always taken responsibility for my son no matter where I went I took him with me.

My experience

My son did suffer from this by the fact he developed severe separation issues far beyond the normal child and if he would glance around a room and not see me he would panic.

I was lucky to have the support of a sure start worker who came in and would play with the two of us and then slowly he would interact and gained confidence in her. This grew until he was able to cope with knowing I was upstairs before then he progressed to going to nursery.

It took my son over six months to really understand that when mommy goes away she always comes back and it has only been since he was over two that I have considered leaving him with anyone else other than professionals.

I have only left my son twice, which was over the summer with a husband of my friend who my son adores. On the first occasion he took him down to the local playgroup which my son had visited regularly with his own son who is a little younger.

On the second he stayed at the same friend's house with their two sons and 3 month daughter while I went out for two hours with a few friends to the pub in the afternoon .While my son apparently stayed at the gate for five minutes shouting for me he soon got on with the important job of playing.

For me though I did have a little guilt at passing the responsibility of someone looking after my son I did actually relax a little and enjoy myself and I think this is down to the fact that I waited for my son and myself to be ready and having confidence in the person I left my son with. I knew that my son would have the confidence to go to this man for comfort and reassurance and it was someone who was capable of coping in a crisis.

I do think these experiences have been very positive in building my sons confidence and Despite my worries he actually enjoyed himself without me. When he returned to nursery after a long break for the summer seems to adjust much better than he had previously done.

While I don't have a great deal of experience of leaving my child with others I do know that if you want to relax and enjoy yourself you need to have faith in the babysitter.

I am planning to go out again to the cinema next weekend when my sister comes to visit. This is actually my friend and not her husband who is coming to her house. She is a very competent parent and has told me if there is a problem you will be last to know I shall dial 999. This is surprisingly reassuring for me.

I will no doubt have intrusive thought wondering how my son is and a little guilt but know he is in safe hands.