The babysitter's view (Babysitting Agencies in General)

Member Name: caro

Product:	Babysitting Agencies in General
Date:	25/03/01 (886 review reads)
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I babysat through most of my teens, and my experiences were generally good. However, I did learn a lot along the way, and hope that some of this will be useful to parents as well as other babysitters.

FINDING A BABYSITTER
It can be difficult for parents to find a babysitter they trust. However, it is equally important that the babysitter can trust the parents. For this reason, it is best for all concerned if they know each other beforehand or are introduced by someone both trust. That doesn’t mean you can’t go outside your own circle of friends: someone at your children’s school may have suggestions, for example.

If, as a parent, you cannot find someone by this route and have to advertise, do give careful consideration to the concerns of anyone answering the advert. You may be concerned at leaving your children with a stranger; your babysitter will be at least as concerned at going alone to a stranger’s house. Frankly, anyone who responds to an advert and is unconcerned is probably rather too naïve to have care of your children!

When you, the children and the babysitter first meet, be realistic about what to expect. The babysitter cannot act as she would if you weren’t there: she is in an awkward position, not having any authority to tell the children what to do if you are present. If her behaviour or the children’s response give you cause for concern, trust your instincts; but if they simply don’t get on together like long-lost friends, and if the babysitter seems a little awkward, this is quite natural.

INFORMATION
There are many things the babysitter will need to know, the first being details of the children. She will be far happier and find the day or evening much easier if she is introduced to them in advance by the parents, and knows their names and ages. An honest character outline can be helpful too!

Second, be clear about rates of pay from the ve
ry beginning. Are you paying a set amount or an hourly rate? If the former, be very precise about the times involved. If the latter, do you pay more for time after midnight, for example? You should generally assume that you will pay for a full hour for any part hours: if this is not the case, make that clear too. It may all seem very cold and businesslike, but it saves a lot of arguments or disappointment later and makes sure everybody is clear about where they stand. It is also better for you to raise this, as it can be embarrassing for the babysitter to bring up the subject. Mention other rules, such as whether friends can accompany her, and whether you will give her a lift home, at the same time.

Third, provide all the information the babysitter will need about bedtimes, feeding, etc. Be clear about what is a rule and what is a guideline: when you say the child goes to bed at 7pm, is 7.15 alright as it’s a special occasion? (Most children do consider an extra few minutes as a ‘perk’ of being babysat!). Do they have a biscuit at bedtime, must they have a specific drink? Children are very good at giving plausible accounts of what ‘always’ happens, and will get away with it unless you have made the real facts clear!

Fourth, give contact information. Consider whether the babysitter can be told about helpful neighbours as well as your own contact details. This has two advantages: first, as a babysitter it is very reassuring to know there is someone nearby if help is needed *now*. Second, not every need for help is an emergency worth spoiling your evening for. The occasion when I needed help catching an escapee donkey springs to mind!

Fifth, your babysitter will need refreshments! Obvious, but easily overlooked while you are worrying about passing on your contact details, your children’s routine, etc. At a minimum, make sure that she knows how to find hot and cold drinks. Offering bisc
uits is a nice thought, too. If the babysitting is over a mealtime, do make sure that food is available.

Finally, confirm the time you expect to return. Check whether the babysitter will have problems if you are later. (For example, a school-age babysitter will not appreciate your returning at 3am on a school night). Should delays occur, or the evening simply continue later than expected, try to let the babysitter know if you will be substantially later. (This raises the issue of the telephone: do you want the babysitter to ignore it, answer and take messages, or listen to messages as they are left and just pick up the phone if it is you? Make sure she knows what to do, or she will be tense and unhappy every time the phone rings).

LEAVING FOR THE NIGHT
Make sure you have passed on all the information above, with contact details in writing. There are some useful notepads and memo boards available specifically for setting out babysitting information: these can be a good way of making sure you’ve remembered everything!

Your child may now start crying and screaming. Don’t put off your departure, or feel guilty if you don’t phone to check every ten minutes, as the child will almost invariably calm down once you have gone. Just make it clear that if the child remains upset, the babysitter will contact you say in half an hour. Trust that if there is no phone call, all is well. The babysitter will also be reassured that if the child remains inconsolable, you want to know. That way, neither you nor she have to spend the evening worrying.

A FINAL THOUGHT: BABYSITTING CIRCLES
One idea I haven’t seen mentioned on DooYoo, but which can work extremely well, is a babysitting circle. A group of parents get together and agree a token system. Tokens are paid to other parents in the circle for babysitting, making an evening out much cheaper as no cash changes hands! Apart from the usual issues o
f trust and so on, it is (believe it or not) important to set out some rules or guidelines to ensure all parents spend as well as earn tokens. Some circles have had problems with nearly all tokens being accumulated by one member!

Although by its nature, the circle’s membership will consist entirely of parents, you should still bear in mind the points above, especially regarding information. Different people have different parenting styles, not to mention different ages of children. Equally, problems can arise no matter how experienced the sitter.

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