What are your options? (Childcare in general)

Member Name: sue.51

Product:	Childcare in general
Date:	20/04/01 (167 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: See text

Disadvantages: Can be expensive

As already discussed by others in this topic area, there are a number of childcare options open to working parents.

Firstly, mothers/mother-in-laws or other close family member. My mother was not fit enough to look after my daughter full-time. There are a number of considerations with this option.

OLDER RELATIVES
Are they fit enough to cope with an active toddler? babies are not babies for very long.

SOCIAL LIFE
Won't they still want a life of their own?
Looking after a child full-time is a big commitment, and can lead to resentment, differing opinions and more importantly to you, when you want to spend that short amount of precious time with your partner/ husband/friends, will they be as willing to babysit if caring for the child on a daily basis?

PREVIOUS RESPONSIBILITIES/EMPLOYMENT
Were they previously working themselves?
If yes, there will undoubtedly be financial implications, and as another writer quite corectly pointed out, don't take them for granted. Offer them money for their troubles, chances are most won't take it. if they don't, use some of it to help them/support them in other ways, even if it is just the occasional bunch of flowers, bottle of wine etc.

PRIVATE NURSERY
My daughter is older now and no longer requires full-time child-care, but I know they don't come cheap. When she was a baby 12 years ago, I was paying the princely sum of £45/week, which doesn't sound a lot, but was a big chunk out of my £100 a week wages as a single mother, and effectly left me worse off than if I had stayed at home on benefits. There are a number of benefits to using a nursery, if one of the carers is ill, it still continues. Your child is with other children all day, and learns to integrate and socialise from an early age. This backfired on me a little, as because my daughter was the youngest there, she was absolutely ruined by the carers and children alike, which ma
de her very spoilt.

In the nursery my daughter went to, the environment was pleasant, safe and caring, but lacked that certain something I have seen with others, which, unfortunately for me, charged considerably more. Even 12 years ago, the charge for the more upmarket nurseries was c.£80 a week full-time, something I could not afford. I believe the average charge in my locality is around £120-£150 a week, and most expect you to provide your own lunch for that price. If a child is even mildly unwell, the nursery won't take them, if you have a flexible employer, this is not a problem, if not, it is very useful to have a family member close by as back-up. For the more seriously ill child, as far as I'm concerned, the child comes first,and the employer will just have to live with it.

Nurserys are very useful if you work full-time, and their hours fit in with your working hours. They are generally in my experience however not very accommodating when the child starts school.


CHILD-MINDERS
Starting school - time for a child-minder, as my Dad was working and my mum was not well enough to walk to the school.

Charges vary from around £2.50 an hour upwards, and they usually look after more than one child, giving your child the chance to socialise. Most are registered for 2-3 children, depending on how many they have of their own, and are subject to very strict regulations by the Local Authority. If you need to find a list of those in your area, contact your local Council, who will provide a list of all registered child-minders in the area, the number of children they are allowed to take, contact details, and what time they are registered to keep children to.

I am not aware if this has changed, but when my daughter was young, they could not keep them after 6pm, and they are not allowed to take them after the age of 11, this believe me, presents you with another set of problems, as they are not legally old
enough to be left 'home alone' and in my mind, also not mature enough. This is when flexi-time becomes particularly useful, as does the helpful friend, or the close relative.

PROBLEMS
The main problem with child-minders, if their children are unwell, they can't take yours, and likewise, if they are ill, they can't work either.

NANNIES/LIVE-IN or OUT
Wonderful if you can afford it and the child is looked after in your own home.

Before you discount this idea, investigate it carefully. You will have to pay Employer's NI Costs, but if you have a couple of children it can be cost effective, or if you have a friend with children of a similar age you can share the cost. They can live in or out, depending on the space you have available, and can prevent problems with the child being carted out of the house early in the morning, only to be returning home late in the evening.


=============================
Unfortunately, for many women these days, it is sadly not a case of "I can't afford not to return to work", but "Can I afford to work?"

There are probably loads of you out there shouting, 'don't work then, a mother's care is best'. Whilst there may be an element of sense and truth in this, there are numerous reasons why a woman wants to work.

I would have found it very difficult being a full-time mother, exacerbated by the fact that I lived at home with my wonderfully caring, but very knowledgeable (I am sure those of you who have experienced it know what I mean) parents.

Other reasons could include their profession, to lawyers, doctors, solicitors, pharmacists, nurses, police women, and many other professionsals, a break in service would be sufficient to stop their career in its tracks. Why should these women be denied the right to pursue a career that they have worked hard for for so many years. We wouldn't expect this o
f a man.

Don't have children I hear you say. Easily said, but life isn't that 'black and white'. I genuinely believe that by working, the time I had with my daughter was extra precious, and for a long time my life was a rotation of work and family, offering me no time to greive for the horrendous time I had been through with her father and the breakdown of our relationship. Yes, whilst it is good to keep busy, sometimes, one needs to stop and take check of their situation, I didn't allow myself this, thinking at the time I was doing the right thing, but thats another story.

After spending nearly ten years studying, both full and more recently part-time, there is no way that I could change roles, or give up work, should I chose to have another child, not that I am planning this, but as the best and worst amongst us know, the best laid plans.....

Anyone still awake out there, this brings me to my final point on childcare. For those of you that have criticised 'spongers' who chose not to work, would it not be realistic to assume that if there was more affordable, quality childcare available, many of these would be tempted into some of the ridiculously low paid employment around?

REMEMBER
Additional benefits for 'low-paid' working parents have improved considerably since my daughter was born, and 'Working Tax Credit' can subsidise chidcare costs by up to 70%, up to a maximum of £120 a week (check these with the local DSS as they change anually).

If you are prepared to work, don't be too proud to accept additional help if it is available, it takes as much courage to return to work as it does to stay at home, both have advantages and disadvantages, and the only person who can make these decisions is yourself and if relevant, your husband/ partner. Sorry guys, maybe I should include wife in there, as I know it is not uncommon for men to stay at home these days.

D
on't let anyone criticise you for making the decision that best suits the needs of you and your children.

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