Looking 'down in the mouth' about my phobia! Dentists and Phobic reactions to them. (Dentists)

Member Name: GillMN

Product:	Dentists
Date:	01/08/09 (176 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: There are no advantages to phobias and lots of advantages to dentists!

Disadvantages: Fear, nausea, panic, feeling stupid, blah blah blah!

This review is about my very real phobia about visiting the dentist. I hope it will help you to understand something about phobic reactions and may help if you have any phobias.

Last Sunday I woke up with toothache. I felt severe pain and dread! I am phobic about visiting dentists. I don't mean I don't like it very much, I mean I am phobic! Palpitations, nausea, panic, irrational thoughts, bizarre avoidance techniques, you name it, I'd gone through it!

I knew exactly why I was phobic, I had some very unpleasant abusive childhood experiences which I wont go into here. I had also attended a dentist when I was about twelve years old who had terrified me by shouting at me for getting upset in the chair.

The fact was that anything involving having my mouth forced open, sent me into a panic of not being able to breathe.

I talked to my doctor about this a few yeas ago. His response was "That was a long time ago, you need to just forget it and think of something nice when you go to the dentist." Hmmm, well I hope he got his money back from the College of Empathy and Sensitivity he attended.

I coped by cleaning my teeth meticulously and pretending that they were going to last forever. Even though one of them at the back of my mouth was badly broken.

I could not bring myself to go to a dentist. I was ashamed of my cowardice and told no-one. I really admire people that can waltz in and out of a dentist's surgery every six months, it wasn't an option for me, I lost the ability to breathe properly just thinking about it!

I saw a psychotherapist. (I am one myself and it seemed the best thing to do.) Thank goodness I did! I could never have gone to get my tooth sorted out if I had not got the clarity, support and techniques to deal with my phobia by talking and working it through with him. I started to understand that I was phobic for very good reasons. I wasn't just an overreacting idiotic coward.

On Monday I rang the local NHS emergency dentist at Halton Lea, Runcorn. I was told that there were no appointments left that day and to ring tomorrow. Partly frustrated and partly thankful, I hung up.

On Tuesday I started to ring at 9am when the clinic opened. I rang 12 times and the number was constantly engaged. At 9.25 I realised that it would be quicker for me to drive there and did so. The receptionist was a young graceless female who informed me that there were no appointments left for that day. I explained that I had been ringing since the clinic opened and was met by a blank stare. "There aren't any appointments. Ring tomorrow."
Resisting the urge to pull her over the counter, I told her that I would come in at 9am and ask for an appointment. "If I am on the phone I have to deal with that first." was her response.

I left before I was rude. I was in so much pain I couldn't think straight.

9am on Wednesday saw me at the clinic again. I walked in and was met by another receptionist. She could not have been more helpful. She advised me to come back at 2pm and somebody would do something to help.

When I went back at 2pm, Sod's law had kicked in and the blooming tooth had stopped hurting! It's as if it knew it was about to meet it's match. I decided to carry on anyway.

I practised the techniques I had gone over with my therapist. I told myself
"I'm an adult now. No-one can hurt me like that again!"
"This is now, I am choosing to be here."
"Breathe deeply to give yourself some support!"
Etc. etc.

Unbelievably I nodded off on a waiting room chair! The receptionist called my name and I walked stiffly and fearfully into the surgery. I was greeted by the Professor of Dentistry warmly. He asked me if I would like to lie on the couch and adjusted it until I was comfortable. I did so and explained that I was phobic and embarassed.

I explained what I needed to be able to stay unpanicked. To be consulted, to be able to take my time, to be supported and not ridiculed. It was hard to say and I felt small and a bit silly.
To his everlasting credit, he listened properly to me and told me that he would explain everything that was happening and that I could stop him at any time. Importantly for me, I believed him!

He was as good as his word and told me everything that he was doing and why. He restored some of the power in the situation back to me. I felt less like a hopeless victim and more like an adult. His assistant was superb too, she sat and held my hand and told me I was doing well. Every step of the way they informed and encouraged me.

An X-ray was taken and the result was shown to me and discussed with me. I agreed that the tooth had to come out. I was given two injections and was told exactly how much they would or wouldn't hurt. I wasn't too bothered by the pain, just the intrusion into my mouth, but the honesty reassured me further. I was sent to wait for the anaesthetic to take full effect.

When the Professor eventually called me back he explained how he was going to extract the tooth and what I would feel. I could feel my panic rising again and said I just needed a minute to calm myself. They were both fine with that and reassured me again.

When he started to pull my tooth it didn't hurt. The sensation of pulling and pushing was very uncomfortable and I started to gag. He stopped, apologised and waited for my permission to start again. Eventually the tooth was out and he needed to carry on to remove some of the roots. I endured this but I was almost tearful. Finally he was done!

I was given some advice on aftercare. Checked that I was feeling okay and sent on my way.

The next few days were painful because my face swelled and was quite bruised. It was nowhere near as painful as my tooth had been though! It is still a bit sore but getting better every day. I have signed on with a dentist and will be seeing him next week. For me that is close to miraculous.

I have written this to encourage anyone reading who has a phobia. It is not necessary to suffer on your own. I didn't become phobic because I was stupid or cowardly, I became phobic for good reasons. When I became sufficiently aware of what had happened to me and why I reacted as I did, I was able to negotiate with my fear.

I was also able to negotiate with the people and situations that triggered that fear. I could say I was phobic and what would help me and I could stop the situation if it got too much for me. I could bring some level of control into what was happening to me as an adult that wasn't there as a child.

If you have a phobia and it's interfering with your life, please think about talking to someone about it. There are lots of people who are skilled at dealing with all kinds of phobias. They will take you seriously and help you to take yourself seriously instead of giving yourself a hard time about it.
Who knows what you might achieve and what have you got to lose?

I will never ever enjoy going to the dentist but I can do it now.

Summary: Phobias can be negotiated with.