Try, Try Again (Mother Toddler Groups in general)

Member Name: oioiyou

Product:	Mother Toddler Groups in general
Date:	01/07/09 (34 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: social interaction for the children, some one else making you a cuppa

Disadvantages: hard to fit in sometimes and could put you off

Oh the joys of parenthood! Sharing my experiences ...

When I had my first child I was in my early twenties and didn't really know what was around for babies and toddlers. My health visitor at the time was a useless waste of space and told me nothing. I got some information one day from the library bulletin board about childrens play groups. It took me a week to work up the courage to go which may sound silly but walking into a room full of people and children when you know nobody is rather daunting. I was welcomed in by a lovely lady who said she was in charge of the group. I sat with my then 6 month old child and began helping him to interact with the other children. I was the youngest mother by about 10 years which made me stand out from the word go. About three quarters of an hour later the ladies were making cups of tea so I left my little one with the other kids and sat down to enjoy a cuppa a couple feet away at the table. Some of the other mums didn't even bother introducing themselves and just kept to their own little groups. Two ladies sat down at the table I was at and I was really happy. I'd always heard of people with babies having little groups of friends with babies and I longed for something like that. I unfortunately spent the next bit of time at the play group being asked how old I was, was I a nanny or the child's mother and stuff like that. I left the group with a smile but all I wanted to do was crawl into a corner and have a little cry. My son had a great time and I was miserable. Needless to say I didn't go back to that one. I wasn't about to pay a pound a week to feel bad about myself.

A cousin of mine told me of a local church play group and even though I had to build up my courage all over again I intended on giving it a go. I knew she would be there so at least I would have her! The group was rather small and it was geared towards the childrens enjoyment. The parents and carers chatted but we mostly sang songs and got the children to play with the toys. The charge for this group was a little more at £1.50 a week. I know this sounds silly but at the time money was exceptionally tight so sometimes as it would get to the last week before payday I would have to give it a miss. Other then those time I went every week for about 4 months. The group then had to meet elsewhere as the church needed the hall for other things. It was quite hard for me to get to the new location so after a few weeks of going I had to pack it in.

I saw a sign at the grocery store for a young childrens song and sign class. It looked like it could be quite good fun and wasn't too far from home. The charge was my only problem as each lesson was £4. My little man enjoyed playing with other kids so much I wanted to give him a good time so I saved up to send him twice a month. He loved it and started to learn all the signs. I had been going for two months but felt a little like I had at the first group I'd gone to. When it was break time I found myself playing with the kids because otherwise I would be sitting on my own. I did try and I'm a rather sociable person normally but I found these groups a harsh environment.

It was about this time I found a really good job advert and after interview they called saying I was being offered the position so my son then started nursery.

With my second child I already knew about the wonderful world of play groups. At least this time my health visitor was really nice and gave me all sorts of information about local groups. Also the weight check centre had posters up of the various activities in the area. I'm now in my late twenties so I thought the age group wouldn't be a problem anymore. I went to one play group and although I was welcomed with smiles ... it just didn't feel right. There were a few groups of friends who talked to no one else which bothered me a bit. Each visit was £1 which was no problem as I have worked my bottom off and am in a better financial position these days. I only went a couple of times as I found it a bit of a drag and it should really be something we both look forward to. Another group round the corner was being run a much better time in the week for me so I made the switch.

This group was also £1 a week and most of the children were around the same age as mine and I found people approaching me to say hello. I left the group the first time with a smile as I walked down the road to my home! I had finally found the perfect group. The mums were in all different age groups so no one stood out from the rest. I have been going each week for months now and have made a number of local friends.

It was hard work finding the right groups and if I had let my first experience put me off for life it would have been sad for the kids. I'm glad I kept trying. A friend had a baby not long ago and was asking me about play groups. I told her my experiences and she told me she'd been to one already and had a terrible time I wanted to leave half way through.

My advice to everyone is keep trying new ones as they really are all different but it's not easy to find the right group. I'm not sure if it was harder being a young parent but I didn't find it an issue to overcome.


© oioiyou 2009

Summary: Give it a go