The good, the bad and the ugly (Mother Toddler Groups in general)

Member Name: savingholmes

Product:	Mother Toddler Groups in general
Date:	03/07/09 (136 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: A good group can provide excellent support, encouragement and friendship

Disadvantages: Can be too large and cliquey if you join the wrong one

The good, the bad and the ugly!

~~Large groups~~

Well my first experience of play groups was very negative. I was already suffering from post natal depression and it took a lot of personal energy and will power to even go. I went to one where there appeared to be between 30 and 50 parents with 1 or more children each! It was hectic. I felt really alone and left out even when they had toast and coffee. I knew some of the helpers there but they were too busy to talk. My son was happily to play and settled in quickly but would come back if he was bitten or hit by other kids - which one kid did do regularly to him!

I tried taking a friend with me to make it easier but it still felt like us two against the world. She was also post natally depressed. We tried running a craft table to break into the circle and make friends with the kids and parents but after a while we just gave up. Our kids had a mixed time - the bully was spoiling it for everyone and the helpers and her mother seemed unable to control it. We left.

~~National Childbirth Trust~~

I even tried one National Childbirth Trust session but again just felt unable to handle it. I never did try another playgroup sadly with my son but once I started working again he went into nursery and was very happy and settled.

~~Home based coffee morning linked to local church~~

With my daughter I had moved to a new area. I already knew that there was an active mums and tots type coffee morning in someone's home. I joined even prior to giving birth while on maternity leave and this time was welcomed with open arms. The parents chatted in one room with the young babies and older toddlers played with other children round the house. There were home schooling mums there so there were kids up to the age of about 10 which actually made supervision a little easier and cut down on bullying and temper tantrums. We even shared clothes and equipment between the group as our children were all at different stages - this obviously cut the cost of clothing considerably.

This group helped me get settled into breastfeeding, were able to answer my queries on what to do at different stages of my daughter's development including weaning and later potty training. We occasionally had lunch as a group, went to outings in the park and started to meet socially 1:1. This time I went back to work part time and arranged my holidays so I could carry on going to the group! Even once I returned to work full time those friendships remained. When I started to suffer with post natal depression again and had some time off sick - again the group were there to support.

~~Conclusion~~

My message - there will be a group out there that is right for you. For some it will be the big group session - for others it will be little groups meeting in people's homes. Although I had a negative experience of large groups and even a National Childbirth Trust meeting - I know lots of people who have had really positive experiences from these groups. Don't give up - ask your health visitor for details of groups, check out your local church or community hall - somewhere there will be a place that is right for you.

Summary: Persevere find the right group for you and make friends for you and your little one