What do I do now? (Mother Toddler Groups in general)

Member Name: Gretta

Product:	Mother Toddler Groups in general
Date:	26/03/01 (1480 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Cheap and out of the cold weather

Disadvantages: The people you may meet

When your first baby arrives the amount of time and effort you end up putting into the very essentials of mothering may often come as a shock. However demanding your previous job was it wasn't 24 hours a day. But after a while, you get the knack of changing a nappy, while tickling their tummy, keeping an eye on dinner and making a mental shopping list!

Then suddenly you're faced with a dilemma, especially if your old circle of friends doesn't contain people with similar aged kids, what do I do all day?

Richard and Judy will probably have lost its appeal about 27 minutes in to your first day of maternity leave, shopping isn't as fun with a baby and leaky breastfeeding boobs, and being Britain the weather is unlikely to be pleasant enough for being outside for more than is necessary.

But as much as you want to get out, the idea of coffee mornings and talking to other mums, who just compare their 'angel' with everyone else's kids can be off-putting. Just because you're a Parent doesn't mean you necessarily want to discuss nappies all day, so....

ARE MOTHER AND TODDLER GROUPS REALLY WORTH THE EFFORT?

With a bit of perseverance and being prepared to not have the greatest time of your life every week they can pay off.

WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?

* You may meet new friends.
* It may have a nice atmosphere.
* If you talk to a few people you will find out about other things they do with their kids that may interest you.
* It's good to get out the house...you appreciated being at home more then.
* It's time set aside when you can solely concentrate on playing with your child, nothing is going to distract you, and you should both enjoy this.
* As you baby gets older they will not want so much attention, so you may get 15 mins to yourself to have a daydream, read a book, file your nails, even just drink a cup of tea without it going cold.
* Liste
ning to other Parents concerns makes you realise you're not the only one.
* You may find people have some useful advice.
* Some groups have talk, for example on first aid or weaning, which can be helpful.
* A good place to try out breastfeeding in public for the first time, you're more likely to get helpful tips than dirty looks.
* For once you don't have to do all the tidying up after my child.
* You can see what toys your child likes so you know what to buy them, and what would be a waste of time.
* You all have a major part of your identity in common, so you should find something to talk about.
* They are usually very cheap, about one pound, and some, especially church run ones, are free.

WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES FOR MY CHILD?
* A whole new range of toys.
* Usually a big hall to run about in.
* Toys that are too big for at home, such as ball pits and slides.
* Other bigger children to watch, great for little ones just learning to walk and talk.
* Obviously social aspect for them as well.
* Starts to teach them the skills they need for school in an informal way without not doing it meaning they get in trouble.
* Many groups do activities, such as making cookies or pasta necklaces or whatever, so child gets to do things you may not have thought of doing.

WHAT ARE THE DRAWBACKS?
* Groups can be cliquey, but keep going, you'll get there in the end! My local groups, in suburban, people mover driving, Daily Mail reading Uxbridge were not exactly welcoming when I a. wait for it, teenage mum 'gasp' walked in, but after a while (and I mean a while, about a year) they got to know me, and the regulars are all great friends now. Everyone loves to talk about their children, so if no one talks to you just start asking them questions, or even ask for advice, people find that flattering and love to offer it. You don't have to take it!
* Often held in run down halls. r><br>* The toys may be tatty and dirty, so you may have to keep an eye on tiny ones who like putting stuff in their mouths.
* The other kids me be a bit boisterous, especially if your one is tiny, but they will have to meet other kids one day!
* If you're feeling baby bluey, or have PND, and people don't talk to you it can make you feel worse. Don't take it personally though, it just seems to be a problem with these types of group.

WHERE CAN I FIND OUT ABOUT THEM?

Your Health Visitor may have a list, or there may be a notice up on the walls of the health centre. Any neighbours with young kids may know of good local ones. The library also often has a notice board or leaflets. Look outside your local hall, try where ever your polling station is, it's usually this sort of place that holds them. Here are some links to helpful websites with good listing
www.careguide.uk.com
www.huggiesclub.com
If you type 'mother and toddler' and the area you live into a search engine you may also find some, I did. Also try 'playgroup'.

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO
Some other things to fill fun cheap days with your kids are

Swimming - some pools have special mother and baby sessions where you can meet other mums.

Libraries - many have a morning for read aloud stories, which are a good bet.

Early Learning Centre - Has a free session on Tuesday mornings where you can have a play with the toys. Check the website www.elc.co.uk for details.

Music Groups - Find details in the same places as above, or try the listings of things to do in your local free paper.

Soft Play Groups - such as Tumbletots, although I don't think this is the best, and it's the most expensive. Others such as Gymkids also exist. Find details in the same places as music groups. Tumbletots website is very good, www.tunbletots.com

Museums - If you live in a town near a museum t
hen congratulations, you have a toddler heaven on your doorstep. They may not understand but they are bound to love looking. Under threes are almost always free, and all kids usually are. Also, in London many are free for everyone after 4.30pm, which means you still get a good hour and a half inside, long enough for any toddler. Check out there websites. The Science Museum and London Transport are firm favourites with my two year old. 'Mum bus, mum train, mum red bus, mum train dirty' the things a two year old can find fascinating!

Local train station, bus garage, fire station or if you live near one, airport - Many hold open days. Heathrow Visitor centre is excellent.

Hope all this helps, and keep trying!