A hard thing to go through (My Experience Of Bereavement)

Member Name: Tingram2012

Product:	My Experience Of Bereavement
Date:	23/07/09 (117 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: None at all

Disadvantages: The obvious

I know this is a really sensitive subject especially to people who have experienced bereavement, I just think its something that we should be able to talk about without people feeling uncomfortable or crossing the road when they see you coming.

My experience of bereavement happened nearly 2 years ago now and its something I never want to experience again even though I know its inevitable.

On the 07 September 2007 my Mum, my Sister and My Sisters Step Daughter to be was having a girly night in at my Mums house. The reason for this was that my Sister was due to get married the next day so we were having a few drinks to celebrate. My Dad was sent to the pub so he didnt get in the way which he was happy to do. At about 10pm my Dad arrive home and sat in the living room with us for about 10 minutes before going to bed. He wasn't feeling 100% and was complaining about indigestion.

He went up to bed and we finished up doing our girly thing before going to bed ourselves. My Sister and I was sleeping the same room and at just before 12 we was woke up by my Mum crashing into our room shouting that she thinks my Dad was having a heart attack. I can safely say I dont think i can remember at time that me or my sister have ever moved so quick.

We raced into my Mum and Dads room to find my Dad on the floor not breathing. My Sister rang an ambulance straight away and under instruction from the person on the phone my Mum started CPR. At this point I was at a complete loss as to what to do, I just stood there in complete shock. I just couldnt believe what was happening. I managed to get myself mobiised and went downstairs to wait for the ambulance. Within minutes i could hear sirens and starteed to panic when I realised that they had taken the wrong turning that went to my Mums next door neighbour. At this point I was shouting to get their attention and flicking the outside light on and off, seems stupid I know but rational thought had gone out of the window.

A couple of minutes later the Lives Responder arrived and I showed him where to go. My Mum, Sister and myself sat in the living room, trying not to think the worst and praying that he was going to be ok. The worst thing about the wait was that we were directly underneath my Mum and Dads bedroom which had wooden floors so we could hear everything going on, especially the crash machine. Minutes later 2 ambulances turned up and went straight upstairs. We sat waiting for what seemed like forever but must of only been about 30 minutes.

They then took my Dad by ambulance straight to the Hospital and we were told it would be best to wait at home and then ring them in an hour. Thinking back now that did seem a strange thing to advise us. The Live Responder man told us that he had a very faint heartbeat and it was due to the CPR from my Mum that he was still alive.

So the hour (of course) was really long. My Mum then rang the number that we had been given to find out what was happening. They told her that they think she should come straight to the hospital, so straight away we knew.

When we got to the hospital my 2 brothers were already there in a little room waiting for us to arrive. In seconds a nurse came through to speak to us and to tell us that my Dad had died of a heart attack and there was nothing they could have done. Everyone in our close family are very much alike, were always cheerful, making jokes and rarely get down. This was the first time that every single one of us were sad, my mum, myself and my sister were crying non stop and although my brothers held back you could see the pain my Dad dying had caused them.

My eldest brother had just flew in from Singapore the morning before to attend my Sisters wedding and we had only met his new girlfriend for the first time the afternoon before. My Dad didnt even get that chance to meet her as he had been getting the car ready for the wedding.

We were asked if we would like to go and see my Dad and My Mum, my 2 brothers, my Sister and myself walked through the emergency roomand into another room where he was. He looked so peaceful, just like he was sleeping. My brothers were there holding onto us all and we were so glad they were there.

We then went back to my parents house where i'm ashamed to say I had to pour myself a stiff drink. I was in total shock and still couldnt believe what happened. It had already been decided to continue with the wedding as 1. it was a little late to cancel it, 2. My Sister didnt have any wedding insurance and 3. because my Dad would have been mortified if he had of been the reason it was cancelled.

At 8am we had our hair and make up done. The make up unfortunately just kept sliding back off my face because no matter how hard I tried not to cry I just couldnt manage it. The Vicar had discreetly told eveyone what had happened before we arrived. I was a bridesmaid for my Sister and when I walked into the church I saw 2 of my childhood friends that had known my Dad since they were little, there were openly sobbing which set me going again. My Dad was supposed to be giving my Sister away, so my Sister asked my eldest brother if he would do it. A little bit of his sense of humour came out then when he asked my Sister if he gets paid more seen as its an upgrade from being an usher.

The rest of the day went off without a hitch and although I didnt really want the wedding to go ahead (because of the upset) it really helped to keep us focussed on something else and helped us all get through the day.

I miss my Dad more than I ever imagined I would , he was there whenever I needed him, night or day and it was really hard letting him go. He was 61 when he died and a young one at that, I wish he was still here. I know things dont always get better but they do get easier and he will always be in our hearts.

I have rated 1 star but would of rated none if it would of let me

Summary: Its something we'll all experience even though we never want too