Pet bereavement. (My Experience Of Bereavement)

Member Name: Cattycat

Product:	My Experience Of Bereavement
Date:	02/08/01 (87 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: None.

Disadvantages: Upsetting., Sad., Not treated a s abereavement by society.

I have read many opinions on dooyoo regarding bereavement and the emotions felt in them are very moving. I myself have had my fair share of bereavements in my life so far with losing various members of my family, and also see what it does on a daily basis through my work as a nurse. However, I would like to focus on the bereavement experienced when a pet dies as I feel that this is an issue pushed under the carpet in today's society and can be just as upsetting, if not sometimes more so, than losing a human companion.

Just before I was born, my parents bought a labrador puppy and named it Sandy. He was a lovely dog, very broad-shouldered yet affectionate. We took him for long walks everyday and he loved nothing more than running around our garden with a ball. I regarded him as part of the family as he was there when I entered the world and as a child believed he would be there forever.

When I was 11 years old, my mum, dad, 8 year old brother, nan and grand-dad all went on holiday to Torquay, and as we always did, put Sandy into a local boarding kennel. He didn't seem to mind. He was getting old, but was happy and healthy. On return from our holiday the kennels informed that he had taken ill whilst we were away and was "off his legs" - apparently the vet had discovered a heart problem associated with old age.

We brought him home and over the next few days he rapidly deteriorated. It brings tears to my eyes even now. He couldn't walk very well, but even though he struggled, he dragged himself out into the garden to go to the toilet. It was pouring with rain when his legs gave way, collapsed onto the floor and was unable to get up. The decision was made then to put him to sleep at the vets.

We wrapped him up in a blanket, and my dad carried him to the car. He didn't make any noise at all - just looked glazed and sorrowful. We got to the vets, and I remember sitting on my mum's lap in the front of the c
ar while the vet gave him the injection. I had tears pouring down my face, but was silent and sad. I turned around to say "Goodnight" before he was taken away and we went home.

This was my first experience of bereavement and even now it evokes powerful feelings within me. I have also lost my nan, who I was extremely close to, and my great-grandma, and I believe that the loss of a pet can be just as devastating as a human loss. It doesn't mean that you love animals more than your family - it just means that a pet can become family and when they die it is natural to feel bereaved.

I now have a cat called Tabitha who was very ill last year with bladder problems. She passed fresh blood every couple of weeks for a whole year, and there were times the vet prepared us for the worst. I know that when she dies I will be devastated - far too distressed to work, but can you imagine being given compassionate leave??!! I work in the "caring profession" known as nursing and I know that if I needed time off for a pet bereavement there would be no chance! I have had to take a bank holiday for a family funeral before!! Nice, eh??


For me personally, pets are an absolute joy to have. The pleasure and love I have received from all of the pets I have owned has been phenomenal - each one has been part of my family. But I dread the day when they depart this world and it creates such a vacuum in my heart.

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