Sleeping on the Wet Patch (L'Oréal Perfect Slim Patch)

Member Name: kirstymack80

Product:	L'Oréal Perfect Slim Patch
Date:	23/12/05 (2991 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: caffeine fix (?), firmer skin

Disadvantages: hot, yucky, don't stick, shall I go on?

Recently KM had to have a little laugh to herself. She signed up to test a few beauty products and what plopped through her door but these L'Oreal cellulite buster thingies. Why did she laugh? Because she couldn't care less about her flabby ass and dimpled thighs. After all, she can't see them! ;-)

OK so that's perhaps not the *entire* truth. Being of a certain age I do, in fact, possess a certain amount of dimply flesh on the leg area, and stretch marks too if you're asking. And I haven't even squeezed a sprog out of my body. But I did put on weight, then lost it, and I'm guessing that's how I got the extra etchings on my skin. Because I'm not overweight. In fact I'm only just over 8 stone which, for a tall gal, is borderline for being underweight. So ... stop laughing at the back! You'll get it too one day! However, thanks to L'Oreal, apparently there's a way to stop the orange peel look ...

* The product *

Well it comes in a box and there are six individually wrapped sachets in beautiful metallic turquoise paper. You can use them no more than twice a week but at the princely sum of £10.99 (Boots prices) I'd limit it to once a week. They are occasionally reduced so it's worth shopping around - Superdrug sell them too.

* The patches *

They contain caffeine Cx which is 'a powerful lipo-reducer which works to break down the fatty build up'. Eh?

* What they're supposed to do *

Reduce the orange peel effect, target stubborn areas and after 3 applications leave skin visibly smoothed.

* What they look like *

They are rectangular in shape with a clear self-adhesive strip over the main white background that contains the gel. They are fairly 'weighty' once free from the turquoise sachet.

* Instructions *

Basically you rip open the sachet, peel off the back and slap it onto your dimpled area, ensuring the skin is dry. This wasn't easy as it's *behind you* (sing in pantomime style) but I managed to place the strip and then rub over it a few times to make sure it's in place and won't shift. You are then free to go about your business.

It's recommended you keep the patch on for the maximum eight hours.

For the experiment, we were told to just use the product on one leg, so we could guage the results and compare the results to the untreated leg.

***** Diary of events *****

* Patch One *

So to the first step. I'd been out on a Friday night to a concert at the Albert Hall and arrived back at approximately 11.30 pm. I decided to try out my first patch that night as they are supposed to stay on for a maximum of 8 hours. Worried I'd oversleep, I set my alarm. The patch went on easily enough but I immediately felt a 'wet sensation' followed very quickly by a burning sensation.

And it was *not* nice let me tell you!

My skin grew hotter and hotter. I was a little worried about this but thought that it must be working and got into bed. I lay there for a little while. Or so I thought. By 1am I was getting a tad teed off and counting sheep didn't help. The back of my right leg felt like it was on fire and I was *this* close to ripping it off. I felt that sleep was impossible but in the end I placed my hand over the strip and eventually nodded off. My theory was that my leg would think it was my hand warming it up rather than artificial methods. Clever, eh? *ahem*

Next morning ...

I woke up as soon as that alarm beeped at me and RIPPED IT OFF PRONTO!

Results: Ehm ... no change.

* Patch Two * (9 days later)

This time I tried to use it during the day as I thought maybe it would be easier as I'd be moving about. The patch had wrinkled up slightly and as I put it on, I felt the immediate wetness again. This time it was really bad and I was quite concerned the gel was leaking. I then had to go to the bathroom to check it was still in place. It was, but it was peeling off quite a bit at one of the corners. Grrr. The jeans went on but again I was very aware of the heat. Sitting in my chair reading I couldn't concentrate and ended up putting my hand over the area. So my hand was under my botty. Very fetching. Not!

Patch two stayed on for one hour and ten minutes before I got very annoyed, felt the wetness because it wasn't sticking properly, and I then went back into the bathroom and ripped it off and it went in the bin.

Results: After one hour, are you kidding?

* Patch Three * (5 days later)

As you can probably tell, by this time I was dreading using the next one. However, my experiment was only half way through and I was determined to keep on with it. So it was time for another 'night time' experience. This time before I applied it I made sure it wasn't wrinkled and smoothed it on over the same patch of skin.

I got into bed and guess what? Yup you got it, wet, burning, heat. I tried to go to my 'happy place' but in the end the hand went over the patched area and I eventually got some zzzzzs. I woke up a couple of times in the night and by 7am the 8 hours were up. I woke up, ripped it off, threw it at the bin (missed) and went back to sleep.

Can I just say at this point that I'm seriously beginning to wonder if the caffeine that gets into your bloodstream gives you an extra shot of double espresso coupled with a large Coke?

Results: Ehm well I felt maybe there was a *slight* improvement on the skin, a little softer. Dimples still there though. Of course.

* Patch Four * (7 days later)

Ugh, can you sense my reluctance? Yes patch four got slapped on the lower butt/thigh area just before bedtime again (glutton for punishment, ya see) and … could it be that it went on, I got in bed, and … nothing happened? Well for about 5 mins I lay there and didn't feel the searing heat thing but it was my mistake. A few seconds later the patch started getting hot and KM started to get annoyed. However I must be getting used to it as I slept right through the night, did my usual trick of waking up after 8 hours, ripped it off and threw it in the bin (it went in this time).

Results: Went running to the big mirror the next morning thinking that as I was over half way through the patches surely *this* time I'd see a difference? Skin still felt a bit smoother on that side but dimples still laughing at me.

* Patch Five * (7 days later)

Nearly finished! KM eagerly slapped the patch on this time - during the day. I decided to wear a skirt this time, they really don't work very well with wearing trousers when you err … go to the little ladies room they do loosen. The effect wasn't too bad, as you're moving about you're not as aware of the heat effect, although again it felt very wet and at first I kept having to check whether it was peeling away at the edges (answer: yes). I was very aware of it all day though - I just felt it was going to fall off and plop at my feet in front of everyone. Instead, the general public were probably more concerned why I kept lifting my skirt up to peek under it! It had to come off with still an hour to go before 'time was up' - it was literally hanging three quarters off by then. Bah. No change in KM's attitude towards these, thank gawd I've only got one left now …

Results: Skin still felt smooth and a little tighter, dimples oh yes, they are still there and always will be.

* Patch Six * (5 days later)

Ahh, the last one! Relief. KM's torture, I mean experiment, is almost over. I slapped it on at midnight and went to bed. It came off twice in the night and twice I attempted to stick it back on my leg whilst half asleep. *sighs* It had unfurled at the edges and had lost most of its stickiness. After the 8 hours were up I didn't have too much trouble removing it as it was only hanging on by a corner by this time!

Results: We were told to measure our thigh beforehand (mine was 21 inches) and after 6 patches worth (or five and a bit at any rate!) it was *drum roll pur-lease* 20 and a half inches! Woo. Hmm well it seems they do work then. Sort of.

Call me cynical but I never thought for a moment these patches would get rid of my dimply bits. Once cellulite attaches itself to you, it's there for life. And I have other things to worry about. So - are these worth the money? Do they live up to their promises?

Answer to those questions would be no. There is absolutely no way I'd fork out good money for these unless I wanted to be an insomniac with a wet, hot leg. £11 buys you roughly five and a half cups of Starbucks coffee which is a far more enjoyable way to stay awake all day (and night).

* Caution *

Don't leave on for longer than 8 hours.

There is a warning about overheating/prickling sensation. I'm pointing out now I'm not particularly sensitive to any type of cosmetic so if any of you are, I wouldn't even *think* about using these!

If redness persists, stop use.

* Verdict *

Two stars and that's for my smoother skin and the half inch weight loss. To get this effect on both legs I'm sure you'd need 2 packets of the PerfectSlim Patch, making it an even more expensive beauty 'treat'ment. Apart from the fact they didn't make a difference to my cellulite (which I don't have a great deal of anyway), they feel horrible, keep you awake and don't stick to your skin very well. It's just not practical to use these during the day as you're going about your business either, they only work if you're stationary (or don't ever need to use the .. ahem … restroom!).

KM doesn't approve. These are truly a nasty invention.

Thanks for reading my diary.

Summary: Wet Hot Suckers