Livin' the Yummy Mummy dream.... (Eve)

Member Name: k4ssie

Product:	Eve
Date:	04/07/09 (60 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It could be worse. It could be Hello.

Disadvantages: Repetitive, can sometimes be so aspirational it's depressing

I'll start off by saying i'm not a huge fan of "women's" magazines, so those who think they are a sacred fount of all knowledge might want to trot on somewhere else! However, Eve in my opinion is better than many - for those who've realised that there's more to life than orgasms and therefore moved on from Cosmopolitan, but for whom Marie Claire is too heavy to carry around.

So, what is the world according to Eve like? Well, pretty much all the women are either a) busy with a glamorous and / or ethically worthwhile career, carried out whilst looking a million dollars in the latest style, or b) producing hordes of photogenic offspring whilst starting up their own business - that business being something equally photogenic and "cool" such as making hand embroidered eco friendly nappies or similar - it's highly unlikely they'll be running a Domino's Pizza franchise. Ideally, they're doing both, whilst living in a restored palazzo on the Amalfi coast which they rescued from ruin.
Don't get me wrong, i'm not knocking it - in fact i enjoyed their shiny happy world enough to have a subscription for a year or two, and even featured on their reader panel at one stage - more on this later.

~ Between the covers ~

So, if you were to pick up one issue of Eve that summarised everything they've ever published, here's what it'd look like, section by section.

==Features==

At least one article about a sleb that the Eve world view approves of, ideally combining stunning looks at a relatively advanced age, with a stunning wardrobe and the ability to overcome some hidden misfortune (not being able to find a husband / having fertility issues are always faves). See Marcia Cross (Bree from Desperate Housewives), Nicole Kidman etc.

An article on something semi-prurient such as older women falling in love with schoolboys, but handled in a "sensitive and thoughtful" manner so you can pretend you're not just reading it to go "ooooooh my god!! look at THAT!!!"

The Man interview - a hunky hollywood star / musician / sportsperson reveals their feminine side, accompanied by scantily clad and / or fashionably edgy photographs.

==Psyche==

Cod-psychology articles explaining why you'd be happier if you did more yoga / voluntary work / believed in Homeopathy. Very unlikely to suggest doubling your Jack Daniels ration when you get back from your shift at McDonald's.

===Shopping==

But of course. A whole host of things your life will be meaningless without, including one of their fashion team making a groundbreaking discovery that something considered "sooo last decade" isn't as dreadful as you thought - see Flares, blue eyeshadow etc.

One of my favourite bits used to be in this section, not sure if they still do it - the "fashion maths" article. Hilarious attempt to convince you (or themselves? i'm not sure!) that buying one insanely overpriced bit of designer nonsense (pony skin skirt for nine hundred quid, for example) makes perfect sense because *in theory* you could wear it five hundred times over the next six months, simply by purchasing a host of other items (some of which cost almost as much as the daft item to start with) that will allow you to wear it on every conceivable occasion. Always good for a giggle - if you have any friends who've been wearing the same jacket constantly for six months, you know who to blame.

==Fashion and beauty==

A variation on the above, with a bit of "cosmetic surgery lite" thrown in. None of your heavy duty scalpel wielding stuff, that's for mingers - we're talking nothing more than a little facial peeling. Remember, nobody in Eve World needs more than a little extra help!

Plus, the usual coverage of latest trends illustrated by more designer label madness - if you're lucky, there's be a passable copy at Primark in a few weeks' time.

==Health==

How to get skinnier, thinly disguised as Healthy Eating. Double points for articles featuring expensive exercise wear, which *also* require you to go shopping!

==Living==
How to be Nigella. Extravagant picnics featuring mutiple courses, muffins done up in darling little hemp cases, and wonderful pastel printed picnic blankets into which nobody has ever accidentally poured a bottle of Stella after falling asleep courtesy of one too many.

Stunning home decor ideas for people who don't own any of the normal crap that the rest of us clutter up our houses with, and mini-break ideas for boutique hotels, increasingly in the UK to maintain the eco-credentials, although once in a while they do conveniently forget all that and go for a blowout in the Seychelles or similar.

==Regulars==

The usual - letters, at least two of which will express gushing admiration for the Sleb / victim of routine misfortune featured in the previous edition; the Editor's thoughts on the meaning of life; and the Reader Panel. Now, it was the Reader Panel issue that really brought home to me the narrow boundaries of Eve World. You see, i was one. If you're a subscriber, you may be contacted at random and invited to feature on the panel. The deal is, you send them a suitably glossy looking photo (ideally in a trendy bar or exotic holiday location ,although they don't specifically say this...) and some responses to maybe 10 questions about yourself. In return, they send you a case of (very nice, absolutely no complaints there!) Sauvignon Blanc, and edit your answers so that you're a worthy inhabitant of Eve World. The questions are chosen so they can pick out the ones to which you give suitably glossy answers, and ignore the rest in the handful of "facts" they do include - so if you work in Tesco's, that's unlikely to go in, but the fact you once went sky diving will. Likewise, nursery nurse good, stamp collector bad. In my case, I "confessed" to a penchant for Internet chat in my answers...clearly too geeky for Eve World. In Editorese, this became "gossiping". Er, thanks guys - i work in an area where i often have to deal with client confidentiality, that definitely wouldn't have been my first choice of random fib in a national magazine.

On the plus side, the writing is generally pretty good, they do cover some more complex issues in a sensible and balanced way, and Eve definitely fills a market gap between late-teens-early-20s Cosmo and the People's Friend. And it's a hell of a lot more accessible (and less dull, frankly) than Vogue. Sometimes, a dose of shiny happy people does us all good.

Summary: Nobody in Eve world would be reading in their fat pants on the sofa eating KFC!