Learn to pull in Tescos !!! (FHM)

Member Name: mickm9

Product:	FHM
Date:	13/03/01 (901 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Lots of women, good articles, very entertaining

Disadvantages: NONE (apart from people mistaken you for a perv

Lets get one thing straight here, I enjoy looking at pictures of beautiful women, in fact I dont know many men who dont. No, the problem I have with this mag (its not a problem really but you know what I mean) is not that it's full of said photos, no, far from it .... it's the embarrassment factor of buying it and having it lying around the house.

Let me explain a bit more, I've found myself on a couple of occasions checking to see if it's that little 16 year old girl whose on the till and how many people are in the queue before I buy it, why? Because most issues have a nearly naked women on the front cover and I feel like a pervy old bloke slapping it down on the counter.

Secondly, it's embarrassing when my kids see it lying around the house because I can just imagine them telling their mates how their dad reads dirty mags !!

Anyway, onto the serious stuff, whats in the mag itself, apart from loads of women of course. Well, first of all it's full to the brim of useful lads stuff like how to pull in Tesco's, how to get a six pack girls would die for, how to make your girlfriend orgasm all night, what women look for in a man, how to spot the "up for it" girls in a night club .... can you spot the common theme running through this ??

Apart from the above words of advice (which incidentaly DONT WORK, or is that just me) it does also have some interesting articles on various subjects.

For example in the issue I'm reading now one of the main articles is "How to get a tattoo", this goes into quite a lot of detail about whats involved, how to go about it, the risks involved etc etc. This is done in a funny way with plenty of anecdotes throughout the article to keep you reading irrespective of whether you actually want a tattoo or not !

This "funny" type of delivery is another common theme running through the whole mag with plenty of sarcastic and humourous captions to go with the hundreds of photos doted on its pages.


They do cover off some pretty gruesome subjects as well, for example I've just read an article about an eyeball eating author who writes about his life of crime. To give you a flavour for the article one of the quotes is "I remember once we had to kneecap a blokes mother simply because we couldnt find him" ... get the idea?

Oh yeah, the eyeball incident was apparently the result of a bar room brawl where he was heavily outnumbered so he had to make a quick impression, this involved poking out the saif eyeball from one of his victims and popping it in his gob and chewing, luvverly !!! It doesnt actually say whether his would be attackers carried on or not though.

Theres another article in the same issue highlighting 50 common scams and cons that people play to part victims from their money, you know the type ... spot the cup with the pea under it and you win a tenner type games. The good thing about this is it tells you how they do it as well, interesting reading.

As you can probably gather this sort of article is really aimed at the younger end of the market which is further endorsed by the fact that there ALWAYS seems to be an article in each issue about womens lingerie with lots and lots of pictures of models, well, modelling !!

It also usually features the latest sex symbol parading herself in next to nowt and telling all about their sex lives, this particular issue features Bianca Kajilich ... never heard of her but very nice none the less.

Its not all "unknown" sex symbols though, in the same issue theres a 10 page spread about Charlies Angels which as well as detailing an interview with the 3 ladies involved (yes, you know who they are) also shows them in very provocative poses with not a lot of clothes on .... again, very nice.

Its not all women in various states of undress though, theres also some very usefulfashion pages detailing the latest trends and where to get them, how much they cost etc
etc.

If its the latest gadgets your after you wont be dissapointed either with page after page of "boys toys", the review of these though arent exactly in depth but it does serve its purpose.

The first page however I turn to is the "Bar-room" jokes, this is a page full of jokes. As you would expect of course from this mag most of these are pretty "rude" and arent the sort you would repeat to your mother but hey, tell them to your mates and they'll think your brilliant, unless of course they read the mag too then they'll just think your sad !

Another excellent regular feature is the "True stories" section, as the name suggests these are supposedly true incidents where the person concerned has got themselves into a usually very embarrassing situations. Believe me some of the stories in there will have you cringing with embarrassment yourself ... and your only reading it.

As you can probably gather this is quite a magazine and I can honestly say that I never get bored reading it, there is just so much in it that you could read this for an hour a day over a couple of weeks and still see stuff you missed earlier.

To prove the point heres a few other bits and pieces in the one particular issue that all of the above come from;

100 sexiest websites.
37 cool watches reviewed.
21 signs your going to be dumped.
A pickled boy !
The future of cars.
Weird places to pull.
Fireworks for drunks.
25 man maladies that you can cure yourself.
Letters from lesbos.
Expert dads.
Winners and losers of the internet revolution.
20 places to celebrate Christmas.

The list just goes on and on ...

If you dont believe me just have a quick look through the mag next time your in the newsagents and I can promise you that you will be amazed at the amount of articles/stories/features etc it packs in.

Its a hefty 400 and odd pages and yes, quite a few of them are adverts but ev
en some of the adverts are entertaining in themselves.

The price? Its only 3 quid which for what you get is an absolute bargain, in fact it almost makes the embarrassment of actually buying it worthwhile !!!

Ooops, nearly forgot. Theres a website as well that seems to follow a similar pattern, I havent checked it out fully yet though so I cant really comment on it ... www.fhm.com

Anyway, I'm off to Tescos .....

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