Proper Poop (Heat Magazine)

Name: pearlydewdrop

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Product:	Heat Magazine
Date:	18/06/08 (118 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: I used it to cover my carpet while I painted the hallway

Disadvantages: God, Ive not got all day

If the truth be known, I dont really know why I bought this magaszine the other day. Im not actually one for celebrity gossip and hype, in fact, I believe that many of the z-list celebirties, famous for being famous (or pointless), are pathetic exhibitionists who will stoop to new lows just to tantalise the media, and halfwits out there. I may be being harsh, but Id gladly welcome hearing how these people make our lives better?! I realise that these minor celebrities are just like many other attention-hungry desperados out there, but the difference is they are paraded about as 'interesting characters'. Anyway, the question remains, why did I, buy this tripe? I was having an intellectually limp moment, and was seduced by the sensationalist title "Big Brother's Worst Bully EVER!" (21-27th June 2008). I dont even watch the programme, but I couldnt resist a nose- more fool me! So, now that Ive been suitably underwhelmed by my purchase Im ready to share with you the stupidity and banality that is Heat magazine! Enjoy! (Warning: There may be a rant brewing here...).

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~What is Heat Magazine?~
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Hea t magazine is an admittedly 'low brow', easy read. Every single article, if you can call them that, focuses on another celebrity foible or....shock horror (!?) hairstyle change, make-up faux-pas, awkward relationship breakup. Truly, the list of 'revelations' and insightful commentray is endless (hmmm).

Many of the pages in this mag do not even include much written commentary, and simply consist of bizarely enlarged photos of celebs taking their milk indoors, shouting abuse at the photographers encraching on their property, or scratching their backsides and adjusting their madhood. Nothing insightful, or of any real worth is included in this magazine, I believe; it is unadulterated trash.


~Is It Any Good?~
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See above......

No seriously, if you love celebrity gossip, and youre just dying for a fix of celebrity images (however dull and pointless), then yes, Heat magazine will satisfy your curiosity. It wont however:

(a) Tell you anything about the celebrity that is worthwhile.

(b) Tell you anything you didnt already know about them.

(c) Make you think nice things about others and yourself.

That is the thing about these mags; they either make us feel crap about ourselves by showing amazing celebrity bodies, draped in designer frocks and jewellery, or they make us spiteful cows who spit venom at the spotty, ugly (dare I say it 'normal') people under the make-up. Its not nice, but maybe its therapeutic- I dont know. Curiosity is the drug of choice here; that is what seduced me when I bought this magazine, and I guess some people are addicted to gossip.


~Heres More Reasons Heat is Poor~
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Ok, in the Heat magazine that I bought this week, the following are examples of 'crazy' revelations concerning celebrities:

*Victoria Beckham is slumming it in rough clothes*

*Liz Hurleys son was dressed like a kid from the 19th century*

*Gweneth Paltrow talking to Chris Moyles* (Oh my god!!!!)

How ridiculous are these articles? Its mad!


~How Much Is it?~
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Heat magazine costs £1.65 of your good money. I could buy maybe 3 and a half Snickers bars with that, and believe me, Id get much more out of them pleasure wise.


~Conclusion~
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If you want a TV guide, buy it. No, dont buy it- get the Radio Times, then you wont have to read all the other rubbish. Harsh but true Im afraid. This magazine upsets me big time.

Summary: Poor magazine, doesnt even do good celeb gossip.