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    Your dooyooMiles Miles

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      18.04.2012 19:25
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      Interesting read!

      I hadn't bought Hello! magazine for years. I think the main reason is because I always considered it to be too expensive - at £2 a copy, I think that it is far too expensive for a weekly magazine. However, the other day I decided to treat myself to a different magazine (I always buy the same ones and so fancied something else) and so chose Hello as featured the Middleton's on their family holiday and I wanted to be nosy.

      I am fascinated with the Royals as I just love having a nosy and seeing how they live their lives and what they have been up to and so I thoroughly enjoyed this part of the magazine, which did take up a huge part of the magazine. There was also a lot of features on other countries Royal Members, which I wasn't interested in as I had no idea who they were and so it seemed a bit pointless to me. I loved reading about all our Royals though.

      I would say that this magazine is more for the middle-class person as it is quite classy and features a lot of 'Royalty' and rich celebrities. I noticed that there are no 'rude words' or offensive language. For example there was a tiny article regarding Tulisa and her 'famous tape'. Whilst it was all 'massive front page' news on other trashy magazines and called a 'sex tape', Hello was calling it an 'intimate home video'. If you understand what I mean.

      I would also say that this magazine is suitable for all ages, as it features people of all ages; The Queen, and older celebrities, whereas usual celebrity magazines would only focus on younger celebrities.

      I like that the magazine is very respectful towards Royal members and celebrities. It only features positive stories and focuses mainly on the good rather than the bad. This is huge difference when compared to other celebrity magazines, who thrive of giving celebrities bad publicity. It's refreshing to see the magazine focusing on the positive things the stars have done and doesn't feature anything negative - it gets a bit too much when you read magazines which only feature bad things the stars have done. So well done Hello for only featuring positive articles.

      The magazine features expensive celebrity homes - I love having a nosy around. This particular issue featured Steven Gerrard's home as well as the house where Downton Abbey is filmed - I couldn't believe how grand this house was.

      The magazine is also a fan of celebrity weddings and babies. In this particular issue we meet Una from The Saturdays' new baby and we see the wedding of a Hollyoaks actress.

      I read a huge amount of magazines and a lot of the time, I like 'mini articles' as they are easy to read and you don't have to think to much. I found that the articles in Hello are very lengthy and the language isn't that simple either; when I am reading it, I have to think about what I am reading as there is so much font. I can't just sit and read. I did find at times that some articles were too long and so ended up being boring. I wouldn't really call this magazine a 'light-read' in terms of the amount of text it contains - although it does have a huge amount of pictures which are good to look at.

      One thing which I found with the pictures is that they give quite an in-depth description of what is in the photo - although it's pointless information. For example there is a photo of Kate Middleton skiing and it has a full photo of her and the caption says something along the lines of 'Kate wears red trousers, white jacket, and is wearing her hair loose under her hat - she is skiing down the hill' - well we can see all that from the photo ourselves, so I don't know why they have to tell us in the caption.

      There are quite a few adverts in this magazine; whilst the adverts are quite affordable places; Next, Loreal and Clarks etc, the products (especially the fashion ones) they advertise are very expensive. Some of the clothes they advertise cost hundreds and some of them thousands, and so it's obvious that this magazine isn't aimed at us mere 'normal' people. I enjoy reading about all these rich people though.

      The magazine is large in size; whilst in a way this is good as you can see the pictures clearly etc, the size does make reading it slightly difficult as it is so large that you can't 'hold it up'. It needs to be placed on a table etc. The size also means that it won't fit in your bag unless you fold it.

      Other features include; horoscopes, fashion articles (although not too many), and recipes etc.

      I did enjoy this magazine to some extent. I love how 'classy' it is compared to other magazines. I would buy it again but only as an occasional treat.

      Thanks for reading!
      April 2012
      Xdonzx / xd-o-n-z-x

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        04.12.2009 13:20
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        If you want to look at lots of pictures, try the Argos catalogue - at least it's free

        I love all kinds of trashy magazines, from Love It! to Glamour, whether that's for the comedy value alone or interesting stories and discussion. However, a few weeks ago I noticed that Hello was on sale for just £1. I never normally buy it as I think it's too expensive, so I picked it up thinking it would make a nice change.

        A couple of pages in, I remembered why I never buy it. Even if they were handing it out free, I probably wouldn't pick up a copy. I love words (though I appreciate visuals) and this magazine is mainly big pictures with captions. The first few pages were photos of some clothes designer's home in Italy, and despite being a large, glossy paged magazine, the quality of some of the images was exceptionally poor and grainy. This is something I complain about in gossip magazines that sometimes have no other picture resources, not a supposedly high-brow image-focused magazine where the full page pictures are taken especially for them. I think they have some resolution and printing issues to sort out, or maybe some sacking of lazy or incompetent staff.

        Secondly, there was a distinct lack of information. It was all 'This bed is from x century, this carpet was designed by y' etc. I didn't even recognise the designer, but if I had I would know barely more about him (except for the fact that his swimming pool is surprisingly small for such a large house). There was no story. There was no development, no detail, not even any tacky clichés to be found. It was kind of like if you switched on the news and the newsreader said 'This is a tree' with a picture of a tree in the background. Hello needs to be renamed 'So what?'. It completely failed to hold my interest at all.

        Normally I greedily read my magazines, then instantly feel I should have made them last longer for the cost. It's been a good couple of weeks now and I'm not even halfway through this magazine because it's basically the world's most boring collection of pictures with tiny boring captions and short, pointless blocks of text, mostly about people I don't know and have no interest in. Maybe I'll get to the article about Victoria and Brooklyn Beckham soon, but I fully expect that to be more non-news, and pictures of them I've probably already seen on the Internet.

        There are plenty of different magazine styles out there, from celebrity gossip to real life stories, to discussions and debates and statistics, helpful articles etc., but Hello has none of these things. It's too big to read comfortably, being a larger size than typical magazines, and if they made it smaller if would be easier to hold and turn the pages, and they'd have less of a problem with poor quality images. Not recommended.

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          16.11.2009 15:09
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          Glossy rubbish, you can't even use it to wipe your nose on!

          One day I'll understand the appeal of Hello, its basically a magazine ofr people window shopping on the rich and famous' private lives and for me is totally pointless.

          Hello has been around for about 10 years or so and is genuinely a market leader, indeed its more a market definer spawning a huge range of imitators like Ok and the glossy sunday newspaper mags. Hello features articles on the rich and famous at home, they are posed shots of the famous person supposedly in their home even though I know for a fact that some of the sets are in fact hired apartments. The magazine also buys the rights to famous weddings, christenings, and special events. There was for a while a belief in a curse of the Hello marriage, in which a set of marriages had broken up not long after featuring on Hello.

          Hello!! (totally sarcastic) but if your selling your wedding pictures for huge amounts of money to a magazine then is it a suprise when the wedding fails?

          Hello also features new babies and has a bizarre habit of describing a famous persons new baby as "introducing" and then moan a few months later about intrusion into their private lives and the endless presence of the paparazzi wherever they go. Hello! you've just sold your childs image rights for a few quid and had the baby spread all over a glossy magazine.

          MY views on Hello! is two-fold firstly it spreads the desire to have what the celebrity has and therefore creates envy and envy is only a step away from hatred, my other is the creation of the shrine of celebrity and without Hello! I doubt we'd have half the TV shows currently cluttering up saturday night TV.

          So its far to say I dislike the mag and have only ever bought it once when my wife was ill and wanted something to read, I bought her a book and Hello! to look at the pictures.

          Why don't more people buy a book and let their imagination fill in the pictures rather than buy a glossy piece of rubbish.

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            07.06.2009 18:25
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            It makes people happy- just not me

            If you are in a dentist surgery or waiting at the opticians or dentists, pick this up - it's a very light read, in fact there is,compared to most magazines, very little to read- it is mainly pictures- and I have to say top quality photography. Now to the confession, I am not into celebrity gossip and news. I love reading, but with all the books available I cannot understand why reading this magazine is how you want to spend your time. I know their readership must be huge as otherwise how could they afford the millions they pay for exclusives. I am honest enough to acknowledge that if celebrity is your interest you couldn't do better than Hello Magazine, as on the occasions I have read it- I noted that it was never in any way malicious and didn't revel in taking unflattering photos- in fact quite the opposite. The Magazine is full of celebrity, royal and high society news and features-it is very much a peek into the lives of the rich and famous. Almost every week there is an exclusive- a wedding or christening or similar together with interviews with the faces we see on our tv and movie screens. There is a page which keeps you informed of the week's celebrity news, together with puzzles, a tv guide and some tasty recipes.So from that perspective I couldn't fail to recommend it to it's target readership.

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              11.01.2009 22:25
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              A good girly/woman gossip magazine.

              I can remember the first ever `Hello` magazine that I ever bought as if it were yesterday, my GP was getting remarried to an actress and they had sold their story and photographs to the glossy magazine. The local newsagents cant have known what had hit them that week. The GP was a well respected member of the community and everyone wanted to see the photographs.
              The pictures didn't disappoint and the fairytale romance story of how they met and so much enjoyed each others company had all the females in town in raptures.



              The `Hello` photographers always seem to capture the moment perfectly, the pictures are crystal clear and the photographs seem to bring out the best in everyone...mind you I'm sure some manic air-brushing must go on before we end up seeing it!
              I suppose you could say the magazine was a picture book for adults, the story of the event is told by photograph and under each picture the stars or celebrities in question answer the interviewers questions...Was it love at first sight?...Where did you meet?...How did you propose?
              I have to read it all in triplicate lol.



              The magazine comprises largely of photographs of high profile people, celebrities and film or pop stars, where they eat, where they party, who they keep company with and most importantly what they wear. I'm no fashionista by any means but I do like to see what the designers have created for the Hollywood stars, the outfits worn to the Oscars and the Golden globes.
              To see if Cate Blanchett looked better than Nicole Kidman lol.
              At the moment they are running a `Most attractive Celebrity` competition, I'm plumping for Colin Firth, dark and smouldering. Mmmm..



              Of course there's the usual sob stories which are in most mags these days, Alexandra Burke, winner of the 2008 X Factor only manages to pocket £250 a performance and Paul Gasgoine avoids bankruptcy, Ulrika Johnson wants to be the first to get voted off of `Big Brother` and Pete Doherty is moving to Paris.



              The magazine makes a good job of telling you who is up for what award, I enjoy a goggle at the Awards ceremonies when they are televised, the fashions, the debates over whether they deserved the award or not. Who has been nominated for a Bafta or a Grammy.
              A couple of pages are dedicated to the pop stars, Lily Allen has been on a diet, Britney is in `Mum` mode, Charlotte Church`s baby is a week overdue and Kylie Has a new man in her life.



              There is a section dedicated to travel, a couple of pages of recipes ( I have to admit I have never tried any!) and the usual Beauty tips which usually include using the most expensive cosmetics on the market,so tey are way out of my reach.
              Apart from all of the glossy photographs I have another favourite section, the back few pages.
              These pages show the Royal family at different functions, charity balls and dinners and I just love to see what they wear and read any interesting snippets of gossip.
              A lot of the photos are taken casually which makes them a whole lot more interesting.



              All I seem to have talked about are the Stars, the glossy photos and the gossip, but that really is what `Hello` is all about.
              I wouldn't ever describe it as a mans magazine, it is a woman's mag through and through.
              The horoscopes? I only believe mine if its good!
              At £2 a month it has to be a luxury but if I'm on track with my budget I am always sorely tempted to buy a copy.

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                29.10.2008 23:06
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                Great for a small pass time and to be a bit nosy!

                As I have stated in my other reviews, I am a bit of a nosy parker and I love looking at what is going on in other peoples lives. Why? No other reason then because I love people watching. Looking at what others are doing, how others live their life. Everyone is different. This also includes celebrities. I am not a huge fan of the news, but, celebrity news... now that is what I am interested in. You can call me shallow, sad, whatever.... But I can not help it and I am not ashamed to say I actually reading about Victoria Beckham and her day out shopping for specially made blue metallic Bonsai trees (or something along those lines....!)

                One way of me to get my weekly gossip is through the glossy HELLO! Magazine.
                It is a weekly roundup of all things rich and famous. Now I will admit, I do not actually BUY the magazine. (Neither do I steal the magazine!) I work in a reception that gets it delivered every week. So before we put it out for the general public to destroy, we have a gander ourselves. Cheeky? Yes. Clever. Yes! It means we recycle at least!

                HELLO! Started in 1988 and is one of the biggest selling women's magazines. 427,054 copies are circulated per week, which is an average of 19 million copies each month! That is a lot of gossip! Its photo journalism is what makes it famous and it as one of the few magazines to get access to the social elite and exclusive access to events and gatherings. The magazine itself contains everything from general celebrity news, to royal family interviews and worldwide political updates.
                The magazine costs £2.00 per issue, some would say expensive, I say you get what you pay for... don't believe me? Well here is what you get......
                Every weekly issue has certain regular features and a few extra things added in for spice. I will explain the main layout of the magazine and relate back to the issue I have at hand which is for the week 4th November 2008 (the issue that came out in the shops today)

                EXCLUSIVES**
                Hello! Magazine prides itself on getting the most up to date interviews with the rich and famous. 'Exclusive' interviews mean that they are the ONLY magazine who have the rights to publish the pictures for this event or are the first company to grasp a juicy story. Every issue of Hello! Opens with an exclusive story. This one is about Nicky Byrne's 30th Birthday 9one of the guys from Westlife) It lasts over a couple of pages and has pictures of the famous people at his celebrations as well as an interview with the man himself. They also have an exclusive story about Princes William and Harry on their charity road trip across South Africa, Exclusive information about Madonna and guy Ritchie, Melinda Messenger talks about her marriage,

                DIARY OF THE WEEK**
                Topical photo-coverage of high society events: cocktail parties, receptions, gallery openings, charity dinners. The place to be and be seen in the social calendar

                INSIDE STORY**
                Here HELLO! Delve into the lives of the rich and famous and give a glimpse of what some famous people are up to. They are half page articles and are small glimpses of gossip. This week for example there is Elizabeth Hurley and a small article about her trip to Mumbai, why she was there, what she was wearing etc.

                CINEMATTERS**

                This is a roundup of celebrity news from the entertainment industry. In other words nothing really serious, no politics, sad stories or royal families. Just plain juicy gossip from the people that are usually on our TV screens.

                THE WORLD IN PICTURES
                This is a weekly roundup of interesting things from around the world. There is usually 4 or 5 interesting pictures with a light hearted article explaining what's happened, in this weeks edition to give you an example there is a half page picture of hundreds of clowns (yes clowns!) who have celebrated their 13th international convention in Mexico city. I always find these pictures interesting and different. Something out of the ordinary. At times it can be nice to compare what others are doing while you sitting at a desk at work! (In my case)

                FASHION
                In HELLO! They usually give a 6 or 7 page spread on a certain look or designer. It is what they call 'beautiful people, beautiful clothes'. These articles highlight what the trends are at the moment and where to get them from. Usually they talk about the high end market which is unrealism to people like me. £5000 on a jacket. Yes of course, I shall buy that tomorrow, in fact, I will buy one in every colour.... Oh sorry, i have woken up now! However from time to time they do throw in the 'normal' high street name which makes it more accessible to the non-celebrities of the world.

                BEAUTY
                HELLO! Have their own award-winning beauty editor, Nadine Baggott who talks about the latest beauty products and best buys that have gone on sale. Once again these are usually high end products but it is interesting to see what it new on the shelves. They also have a weekly health article, this week they cover sleeplessness and how to combat it.

                COOKERY
                Something you might not expect from a gossip, celebrity magazine. There are usually 4 or 5 very nice recipes, as well as advice on nutrition, healthy eating and world cuisine.

                CELEBRITY INTERVIEWS
                Every week they have numerous celebrity interviews and celebrity pictures; in this issue they have Jason Donovan, Anastacia, Kennedy Jones, DJ Emma b, Nicole Kidman, Zoe Ball, Sir roger Moore and lots more.

                They also have the week TV listings, puzzles and star signs.

                Phew! You can breathe now! That is a lot of news! I do think HELLO! Is aimed at the female audience, due to the type of fashion it publishes and the advertisements such as perfume, jewellery etc. However it's still broad enough for men to have a browse through if they get bored.

                I know HELLO! Is not too many peoples taste but it is a weekly edition to my life that gives me quick glimpse into high society life. It is never really too serious and nothing so important that it stays in your mind for the afternoon. But it is full of glossy pictures which pass a few minutes and if that isn't enough for you on the odd occasion they give away freebies, including chocolate... anyone would thing they are bribing us to buy their magazine!

                Recommended as a light read, something to look at. Not as an in depth look in to the worlds news. Even better if you get to borrow someone elses!

                Thankyou for Reading

                Also published on Ciao under myself izzoh

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                  11.08.2008 17:48
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                  Read it in a doctors waiting room near you

                  I've never bought a copy of HELLO! magazine before, merely flicked through it at the hospital but I was one of the suckers who wanted to see the pics of Bradgelinas new babies which HELLO! had spent millions of pounds to publish.

                  HELLO! amazingly has a readership of almost 400 000 copies per week of their glossy magazine which normally retails at £2 per copy. This week they will obviously sell a lot more and have pushed the price up to £2.50. I've no idea who the readership are since I dont know anyone who buys it.

                  The front cover of this weeks magazine has a lovely full sized picture of Brad, Angelina and the new babies. Inside we are treated to a 17 page spread starring the Jolie-Pitt clan. The pictures are gorgeous, the twins clearly inheriting their parents good looks and the whole family look happy. The accompanying text is a bit simpering describing Angelina as never looking so beautifull or content despite her obvious lack of sleep and describing the couples close relationship.

                  The rest of the magazine is full of stories about the royals and soap stars. There are two royal stories, one about the opeining of the Queens state banquet room to the public again with wonderful pictures and a second telling us how Wills and Harry will revolutionise the palace. I dont really think hiring a new PR team is revolutionary myself and Williams helicopter gaffe we are told is all the fault of his senior officers. They manage to get it an indirect dig about Camilla here cleverly telling us that the princes were helpless to act as the royal machinary set the wheels in motion for their step mum to become publicly acceptable.

                  Celebrity weddings and babies are a HELLO! favourite. We learn that Scot Maslen (Jack in Eastenders) is getting hitched to his jewel Estelle and there is loads of name dropping going on as we learn how many of his 200 close friends on the wedding guest list are famous too. We also get to see pictures of a pregnant Gillian Anderson and Charlotte Church.

                  We also get an inside glimpse of the Cartier Polo event. Obviously HELLO! doesnt care about the sport itself but there are loads of glossy pics of the royals including Prince Charles (without Camillia!) and celebs wearing nice frocks.

                  Theres also a limited fashion spread, a poor TV guide offering no regional variations and some recipes. The recipes dont escape the celebrity touch with Dr Christian Jessen and two minor celebrity chefs sharing their fish recipes.

                  HELLO! never criticises anybody within its pages. It's simpering and sucking up to the royals and minor celebs becomes extremely grating after a few pages. Everyone looks good, have wonderful relationships, wear lovely clothes and produce perfect children here. Even Paris Hilton, who we all love to laugh at, gets portrayed in a sympathetic light.

                  If you want to escape to a world where everyone is perfect then you might like HELLO! but I think I'll stick to reading old copies at the doctors from now on. I dont really want to hear how great the Royals are and I want to hear all the juicy celebrity gossip without all of the simpering and sucking up that goes on in this magazine.

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                    15.06.2008 03:21

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                    There is one phenomenon which grew in enormous leaps in the 1990s. It is the cult of celebrity. We have, so we are led to believe, developed such an insatiable appetite for news of celebrity lifestyles and royal minutiae that an entire industry has been built.

                    Journalists, photographers and publishers compete to find stories about these wonderful people who live wonderful lives. Often an article can be created around little more than a snap of the celebrity walking down the street.
                    Hello! (to give it its full title including the obligatory exclamation mark) is the pre-eminent title amongst the magazines devoted to celebrity. It places itself a distinct level up market from OK! (to give it its full title including the obligatory exclamation mark) which has a Beckhams obsession.

                    I personally do not like these magazines at all. I am interested in news certainly and I have more than a passing interest in popular culture. However when I watch a television programme or a sports event or listen to a CD I do not have an instant desire to see the people involved draped around the various rooms of the houses wearing different outfits. Still less do I wish to see a parade of stars arriving for some self-serving event.

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                    04.06.2008 22:24
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                    boring, but if you're interested in photographs you may like it

                    when younger HELLOused to glisten on the newsaagents shelf like baby oil on a chippendale. Withit's glossy thick paper it held so much appeal to ten year old me. I viewed it as a glamourous grown up magazine, i thought is bound to be amazing after seeing the champagne luch lifestyles eddie and pats dah-ling indulged in on a day to day basis as glossy mag editors in Absolutely Fabulous- i didn't want the drink i think i should add just in case the thought of a ten year old have champagne goggle eyes alarmingly sprang to mind. just the fun looking life.
                    in my young mind i concluded the mag must be full of wonderful things.
                    fast forward 14 years i finally got hold of a copy- the appeal of it faded as i got to my teens when the likes of just seventeen, now took precedence, hence forgeting about it till 'older'.
                    And my god it was..total tripe! at an extortionate £3.50 or something similar. all we are paying for it seems is the photographers salary because there is not one article of interest. Maybe it once was a bit more credible as a celebrity glossy featuring the creme de la creme of hollywood royalty as well as the real thing and eurotrash nouveau riche. but the cult of celebrity has somewhat changed since then and now its filled with footballers and their WAGs, and tacky beyond belief. if pics of z list celebritys' posing by a pool are your thing go for it. But if you prefer a magazine you can read. i suggest you look elsewhere.

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                      15.10.2005 13:01
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                      Glossy rubbish

                      Hello has long been an institution in publishing providing a ready source of money for celebrities wanting to cash on on their wedding / birthday/ birth of children/ barmithza (excuse spelling, divorces and probably funerals if the purse strings will stretch that far.

                      For me it is one of those magazines that you pick up in the doctors surgery while you inhale other peoples germs waiting for your turn to see a doctor.

                      Hello and it's rival OK can often be seen trying to out do each other with exclusive pictures of the celebrity event of the year and recently this spilled over into the courtroom.

                      Tha magazine itselffocuses on the rich and famous with large full colour pictures of either the celebs or royals lounging around in their homes or while on holiday in some exotic location. The editorial style is gushing to the point of being vomit inducing and those featured are always painted in the best possible light, both in words and pictures.

                      The Beckhams often warrant a few pages in every edition particularly Victoria often seen attending the latest fashion show.

                      The magazine costs £1.90 and is good value if you are brain dead. As you can guess I'm not a fan and would much rather give my hard earned pennies to the Bg Issue seller at least then I get a quality read and I'm helping someone who is in business for themselves.

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                        30.05.2002 03:54
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                        • Simpering

                        Hello! Magazine - Who on earth buys this dross? "Leading sportsmen and women rubbed shoulders with a host of glamorous celebrities at this year's Laureus World Sports Awards in Monte Carlo, but it was Catherine Zeta Jones who undeniably stole the show. Looking every inch the Hollywood superstar, she set flashbulbs popping as she stepped out for the prestigious sporting ceremony in a dazzling low-cut black Versace gown." The smugly optimistic and naively fawning style of writing is happily pretty damn unique with its yearning desire to transport the reader back in time to when the only people we knew where sparkling stars of stage and screen who spoke with plums in their mouths, wouldn't have been seen dead in anything but DJ and/or evening gown and thought a four letter word indicated "Ma'am". Truly unmistakable and singularly reprehensible, stand up ladies and gentlemen who take the victors' laurels for putting together the one, the only, the totally despicable Hello! Magazine... (To furnish me with the hard facts and even harder stiff upper lip, I'm picking issue number 715, May 28 2002 of the so called 'International Magazine of the Year' - who says so exactly?) If you've never actually read this awful example of everything that's appalling about the British class system, then I envy you, but surely everyone will have just the slightest inkling of what Hello! is or, far more accurately, what it represents - a fawning, slobbering, mutual admiration society's glossy appreciation of everything with form but no substance, a big eyed, glib, chundering mass of froth and bunting for aspiring celebs everywhere. The simpering begins with the contents page, oddly positioned on page 49 which promises (threatens) "Subscribe to Hello! Give yourself a weekly treat or your family and friends a special present. For celebrity news updated daily plus profiles, games an
                        d lots more, or to subscribe to Hello! visit us at www.hellomagazine.com." Gawd, how could you resist an offer like that, treasures? Before the acid tongue grows too spiteful and vindictive, let's just give you some of the facts and credits which you've known to grow and love ... Hello! is a(n) (almost) full colour glossy tribute to the glitterati, their lives, loves and fascinations, trotting in each week at a bumper 140 or so pages, with around a quarter of them dedicated to high class adverts. Its cover price is £1.85 in the UK, but the advent of the Euro doesn't seem to have led to a standard price for our continental cousins, with Spain and the Canary Islands forking out 2.85, Portugal just 2.25, Italy 3.10, France 2.90, but the dear old Germans a whopping 4.90 - ah well, serves the rich buggers right, I say - while Australians need to spend $6.50, while in Canada and the US it's $4.95. Hello! is distributed by Associated Newspapers, Northcliffe House, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TT, telephone 020-7938-6000. Overall, the lasting impression of Hello! is the glorious photo shots couple with the most fawning and sickly prose you have ever seen - examples are liberally sprinkled throughout this entire review, so hold tight. I'll give you a whistle stop tour of this latest issue, to give you the merest flavour of what to expect. Cover page feature - Old Man Michael Douglas proudly exhibits the subject of his cradle snatching, the very, very lovely but very, very shallow Catherine Zeta Jones - a slobbering 11 page spread explores the relationship and times of Methuselah and Baby Jane - now get this - "When Welsh superstar Catherine Zeta Jones jetted into the South of France last week to attend a string of glamorous events, she didn't just bring bodyguards, couture gowns and the latest beauty products with her. Packed inside her numerous designer suitcases were also vests, nappies and ba
                        by wipes, because this time baby Dylan was coming, too." (Does anyone really talk like this anymore. But if you thought that was bad, then just take a gander at the photo captions, you can taste the sugar.) "With devoted husband Michael Douglas in tow carrying toddler Dylan, Catherine leads the way onto the yacht the family had been lent (!) for their outing off the coast of Monte Carlo (!). Despite a string of glitzy commitments on the Riviera last week, the couple built in plenty of family time, mainly dressing down during the day and then getting glammed up for their evening appointments." (Yes, but it's so much easier to deal with the pooey nappies when you've got a full entourage in tow, ain't it Mikey?) Also here, pandering to the middle aged, middle class Little Englanders everywhere, we also get "Unique Jubilee pictures of the Queen and her family". Aah! But worry not, lager louts, you also get Vets In Practice star Trude Mosture putting the trauma of her stalker ordeal behind her on an exotic trip to Dubai as she looks forward to the birth of her bay daughter with the prospective child's father, a real thick necked thug, in tow, and Prince Harry going very red in the face when getting a peck on the cheek after a tiring game of polo. As well as these special features, you get the normal woman's magazine staple diet of TV, films, property, shopping, puzzles,recipes and soaps, ho hum... Ach! I canne go on, captain, this is more than flesh and blood can honestly endure, ye'd have to be a particularly thick skinned lover of the rich and famous to find all of this fawning garbage pleasant or even relevant, but plenty of empty headed women fall over themselves to snatch a glimpse of how the other side live and love, but it's SO very remote from the reality of everyday life. I suppose it's an antidote to the mundane and tedious happenings which confront us lesser mor
                        tals, but that ain't really much of an excuse for something so shallow and abysmal as this particular excuse for a magazine. But oh yes, sneaking in there, we find pix of Vinnie Jones, Sara Cox and Zoe Ball, even though they're suitably kitted out, and there's a film review which contains a slightly risqué word - "Thunderpants is a gas - methane to be exact. Peter Hewitt's family comedy is the story of a young boy Patrick Smash, who has the gift of high velocity flatulence. The film is - by its very design - one protracted FART gag, but there's a sweetness to many of the characters, and rising star Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley in Harry Potter) delivers another terrific performance as a child genius with no sense of smell who tries to harness the boy's power. When NASA learns of Patrick's gift, the film really blasts off." Be warned!!!! Hello! simply drips from pages to page with positive, upbeat words like excellent, terrific, fantastic... it's quite the most optimistic piece of garbage you're ever likely to read - sometimes such escapism can have its place, but not when it is quite as unremittingly nice as it is here. By the way, in case you were wondering, I don't have much time for Hello!

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                          30.06.2001 21:57
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                          ****Update at the bottom of this op!**** It's a rainy Saturday afternoon - the rugby has finished, the pub has quietened down and in my post alcoholic haze I bought a copy of Hello on the way home as it has vouchers for a free newspaper every day for the next week and two bars of chocolate stuck on the front. Baragain I thought!! One cup of tea and chocolate bar later the utter drivel inside this 'publication' has almost completely sobered me up. No longer do I find any of the men I was chatting to, drinking with, and cheering the lads on in Oz with, attractive. Hello magazine has achieved more in half an hour than several cups of strong black coffee have ever achieved. My £1.95 was not wasted, I got to gasp at what people were wearing to Boy Georges 40th birthday party, admire photo's of Gloria Hunniford at another opening of an envelope and weep with joy at the news that Samantha Janus is finally happy having had a baby with a man 12 years older than herself.....watch this space.... I'm not sure what I was expecting, having only briefly flicked through the pages (OK it was ten minutes) at the newsagents before. But the editorial content was conspicuous by it's absence. If you are in the market for a Dior dress then this is a nice little magazine to have a look at what everyone else is wearing, but if you actually wanted to learn more about the charity these celebrities are supporting then don't hold your breath. There is not one photo of a child without legs due to landmines, not one poverty stricken family have been invited to eat the sumptuous buffet laid out on tables groaning under the weight of the food and the candelabras. In fact you will not see any children unless they have double barrelled names, are wearing party dresses, have blonde hair and alice bands. There is always one soap actress getting married, although surely we must be running out of single soap a
                          ctresses by now, and at least one art exhibition by an artist we have never heard of where there are no celebrities but lots of 'old money'. Yes - it is nice to see how the other half lives, but I don't want to see just the superficial party scene, I want to know how difficult it is to look glamourous for so much of the time, or how they balance the books at the end of the month, or how they treat their staff... If nothing else this magazine confirms that I am happy to live in the real world, and although I must admit I would like the showbiz glamout occasionally, there is no way I would like to end up so shallow that I fret for hours over what hat to wear and change four times before finding the perfect outfit. OK OK - on a first date I admit that may happen but not when going for a quick shopping spree. All in all - a shallow magazine, for people who are unhappy with their lot and want to immerse themselves in someone elses life. My advice - eat the chocolate, get the free paper and read about real life. If you have to read this don't pay for it, go and sit in the doctors waiting room for half an hour! ********************************************* UPDATE - Just to check that I wasn't being unduly unfair and that I had been unfortunate to read a particularly bad copy of this I stood at the newsagents today and flicked through it for five minutes or so - this weeks copy is exactly the same as last weeks but without the free chocolate! There was nothing of any substance, the soap stars were in evidence as was Gloria Hunniford - does she have a contract with these people??? And why is she always with Cliff Richard??? Anyway - no change to my opinion I'm afraid -Awful still stands!! :-)

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                            10.04.2001 03:42
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                            I’m against these new women’s magazines. This is because of three reasons, the first being their pointless names. I think the people who came up the names for these magazines, didn’t really come up with them at all. How I see it is they recorded or wrote down a conversation, randomly picked a word and BOOM! Now you’ve got the “Hello” magazine, the “OK” magazine, the “I”, “You” and “She” magazine. These are a few of the pointless chosen names taken out of the hat with no meaning or reference to the magazine at all. In my opinion, they should really try to come up with a name like “Vogue”. I’d be happy that way if they had names like “Phoenix” or “Mystic”, not names like “Red” and “People” magazines. The second is the advertising of the magazines. Recently I was watching adverts on ITV and one these women’s magazines came up. Basically this girl was walking around a room talking to her friend, describing this new magazine. Saying and I quote “I think of this magazine as a real person, who shares the same insight and interests as me. I know, I know, it’s only a magazine but it seems so…” goggle-eye look means they’re about to tell the name of it “…REAL!” Real. That’s the best name today’s enthusiasts can come up with? Pathetic and another spark in my mind reminded me that was meant to make me buy that as well! Good luck to them! The third is I found they all feed off of each other. Once when I went into the newsagent to do my paper round, I noticed the week’s newest stories from these women’s magazines. It was the week when on Eastenders Steve and Mel got married. What do I find 2, 5, 10, 15, 70 magazines of the couple on the front cover, some with even the same photo! Saying stuff like “Steve and Mel wed”, “Steve and
                            Mel together at last” and one which I couldn’t stop mocking at was one which had a photo of the couple in their wedding outfits, saying “Find out if Steve and Mel got married”. Surprisingly, the program when this did happen was last Wednesday! It’s really quite poor. I had a flick through 1 or 2 of them and they all seem to have the same thing inside them. Usually there’s a letter from the Editor, a horoscope, the latest of Eastenders, and a fashion section. I mean don’t get me wrong. I’m not against the actual idea of magazines for women; I just think that today they all offer the same thing as the next magazine and they should be improved. Because in my view, they look like the interesting bits from newspapers, transformed into a modern language and jazzed up to be copied by 13 others. I do find it hard to balance my opinion, because I really CANNOT see anything good in these magazines. But this is only my 3rd opinion so I'm a bit sketchy doing these opinions.

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                              17.03.2001 01:20
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                              How do I describe Hello! magazine? It is a celebrity magazine, which gives us an insight into the lives, loves and homes and the rich, and famous, but what I have noticed is that it is more of the rich and less of the famous. The current issue has a picture of Michael Jackson at Uri Geller's wedding blessing on the front, and Mr Jackson looks very scary indeed. The contents include model turned designer Normandie Keith, talking about her fathers death and her own cancer fears. Very touching I am sure, but who is she?? There are normally fashion pages with over priced clothes modelled by overpaid wannabees, or the obligatory first publicity shot of a celebrity with their new baby. There is also a section at the back with photos of the latest social gatherings, and it just proves my point that the captions have to be placed under to pictures, just so we know their names, but are still none the wiser on their celebrity status. In fact they are not famous, just very very wealthy. Even less interesting I think! I think that priced at £1.20 for what is basically a lot of photos, it is the ultimate voyeurs magazine. I am 100% sure that the homes the celebrities are pictured in are not their own, and it just has a such an air of falseness around it. Yes I admit I am not a fan of this magazine, and due to the limited amount of reading I would not advocate anyone spending money on this unless you like looking at pictures, and if the truth be known you are very nosey!!

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                              25.11.2000 20:22
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                              Are you one of those people who sit by their window twitching their curtains to see what your neighbours are doing? Do you love to gossip over the fence about other people's lives and spread malicious rumours? Do you really need to get a life? If the answer is yes to any or all of the above then you will love Hello magazine. Hello is a pathetic glossy magazine which features nothing but pictures of the rich and famous posing for the cameras in various situations. Gaze in admiration as one strikes a poze before entering a movie preview, gawp in amazement as another shows you around their home, coil back in horror as another is seen with a woman/man who is not their partner! It saddens me that there are people out there who find this sort of thing interesting, that people have so little going on in their own lives to actually be so interested in what other people are doing with theirs. There are so many people out there prying into other's lives (see the debate on traitor authors as well on Dooyoo) which would not be happening were people such as Hello readers paying them to do so. For God's sake grow up people! Go out and get a life rather than trying to be part of someone unobtainable's.

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