The A-to-Z of SEX (Loaded)

Member Name: dolphin_style

Product:	Loaded
Date:	08/09/01 (1535 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: The price is very reasonable, and you get great value for money, Freebies are often useful, and at time tasty. Hmm, Cadbury’s Dairy Milk., Loads of pictures of top women in skimpy costumes, how can that not be an advantage!

Disadvantages: The humour can get a bit tasteless at time; some people may be offended by various comments made., The magazine is jam-packed with advertisements, which makes finding something decent to read, a chore at times.

When push come to shove that’s basically what all lads magazines boil down to. However loaded does show some other quality’s, some been the key word here.

It makes attempts at covering your typical aspects, associated with your typical lad’s life. Then again the produces aren’t daft, they know as well as we do; SEX SELLS.

Get down to your local newsagents, crab a copy, and here’s a breakdown of what you should find:

~~ A is for ~~
Adverts – These annoying little rascals account for nearly 50% of the magazine space. No wonder the thing is so cheap! These vary in size, from huge double-paged spreads, courtesy of global companies. Right down to inch-by-inch tiddlers, requested by dodgy Cuban sex lines.
Art - They used to run an “Art of the month” competition, where readers would send in their abstract pieces, and get rewarded accordingly. Not sure of this still runs.
Alcohol – From Barcardi cat adverts, to reviews of the best lagers. Loaded definitely is in the know when it comes to mans favourite liquid. My favourite quote: “If it’s wet, drink it”.

~~ B is for ~~
Business – Interested in placing an advert in loaded? Here’s are the numbers you need: “Consumer ad’s - 020 7261 6179”, “Record Company Ads - 020 7261 5643”.

~~ C is for ~~
Competition, The – In my opinion “Loaded” isn’t the best, and is far from the worst. Here’s how I rate it against it competitors:

· FHM - *****
· Loaded - ****
· Maxim - ***
· GQ - ***

Clubs – Whether its ministry of sound in Ibiza or Isis down the road, Loaded has been there, and sometimes has got the low-down. Depends whether the reporter managed to stay sober or not!
Celebrities – Bog names flock to Loaded for extra publicity and renowned hospitality. However what they get is a do
dgy interviewer asking all sorts of personal and embarrassing questions. Oh well, makes interesting reading!
Calendar – The famed LOADED CALENDER. It adorns many a young mans wall. Crammed full of sublime beauties, it’s the perfect way to cover that chipped plasterboard.
Crime – For some strange reason myself, and Loaded seem to be fascinated by crime. I am not sure what it is, whether there is a Meany inside me trying to show its ugly head, or I am genuinely interested in the plotting of it all. Who know, I like I anyway!
~~ D is for ~~
Drugs - This is the bit of loaded I find most disturbing, with in depth descriptions on how to use a coke can to get that “phat-high”, it doesn’t really appeal to me. I’m a good boy.
Dartboard – Last page of the magazine, you’ve just about had enough of celebrities, and Loaded darn well know it! They have created “Celebrity Dartboard”. Pin it to your wall and this month you get 100 points for hitting “Sharleen Soiteri’s” nose, and with a name like that, I am not complaining.

~~ E is for ~~
E-Mail – Want to contact the loaded guys? Then get typing and forward your message to: loadweb@ipcmedia.com.

~~ F is for ~~
Freebies - This month you got a stonking great bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Mile and a free guide to the UK’s best totty. In the past things such as CD’s and posters have also been on the menu.
Fashion – The entire end section of Loaded is dedicated to fashion. From shoes to sweaters, you have it all. Browse through the latest release from big names or see what’s going to be cool next month in the club.

~~ G is for ~~
Girls, girls, girls - This is what basically sells Loaded! Loads of gorgeous babe’s getting their kit off in the name of male entertainment. Good stuff.
Gadgets’n’gizmos – Reviews of the latest technica
l wonders, its amazing what we can do today, no, it really is!

~~ H is for ~~
Humour – From a personal point of view, this is what I like best about the magazine, the tone of their humour maybe a bit under-the-belt at times, but usually it hit the spot in my book.

~~ I is for ~~
IPC Media – The folks who publish loaded. Want their address for some strange reason? Well here it is:

Ipc-media
Stamford Street
London
SE1 9LS

Telephone: 020 7261 5562

Interviews – Sportsmen, Pop-Stars, Hollywood legends, get inside their heads, and find out more about them.

~~ J is for ~~
Joking – Otherwise known as jesting, a key point of Loaded’s purchasing appeal. Fancy a chuckle, this may or may not be the magazine for you.

~~ K is for ~~
Keith Kendrick – The editor, and main man at Loaded, want to get something in the magazine, it goes through Keith. Or so a little birdie told me.

~~ L is for ~~
Life – Loaded attempts to pack a man's life in to one magazine, however it misses out on subtle things such as sense and tactfulness. Then again, when has life been fair?

~~ M is for ~~
Monthly - Yep, that’s how often the big L is published.
Motors – A bloke’s magazine wouldn’t be complete without references to the top cars around. Cars, and ladies, go hand in hand really.

~~ N is for ~~
Nope -, I am stumped on this one! Any ideas?

~~ O is for ~~
Online – As well as the glossy paper version of Loaded, you can find it on the web too. Simply follow this address to enter male paradise: www.loaded.co.uk. However this site seems to be down at the moment. I will keep you informed.

~~ P is for ~~
Price - £3 an issue is very reasonable considering the freebies that can be had.
Porn-a-likes - Makes me chuckle, matches up popular faces from our TV screens to s
tars from blue movies. Barry Evans. Lol.

~~ Q is for ~~
Quiz/Competition – Well I could have put this in the “C” category, however that is “loaded”, get the pun, and I would be rogered for something to put in “Q”. Well these normally involve either doing something daft, nothing at all. To either win something crap, or something splendid.

~~ R is for ~~
Reviews – Videos and Music, cult and normal, like it or not. Loaded give you and unbiased, detailed opinion on whether you should folk out your hard earned cash.

~~ S is for ~~
Slogan – Like most magazines today Loaded also has a slogan, or sub-title if you want to get posh. It currently reads:

“For men who should know better”

Marketing magic, or a load of old tosh, whatever you call it, it works.

Subscription – “Fast and free delivery to your door every month”. That’s what they claim. Plus you save 20% per issue if you take out a 12month contract. If you like loaded then why not?
Survey – Every month they do a survey of something trivial, items in the past include: “Your favourite flat-mate” and “Strangest place you’ve had sex”. All make absolutely pointless, yet interesting reading.
Sport – Well it’s a lads magazine it? Some interesting columns on football issues such as ticket touts and where the best seat in the ground is. Plus other humorous facts, such as “The worlds fattest sportsmen”.
Sex – Need I say more?

~~ T is for ~~
Top-Shelf – Some people may say that Loaded, and indeed other magazine in the same genre, should be located on the top shelf. My opinion, I think they are too prude, however I appreciate there view, and yes they have got a point. A child walking in to a shop could just pick it up, and open the page to find a whopping great pair. Not good
.

~~ U is for ~~
Useless – That’s me, not been able to think of something for “V”.

~~ V is for ~~
Very! – Loaded is extreme in every way, including the negatives, if you can put up with the lows, then you will enjoy the highs. Err, simple as that really.

~~ W is for ~~
Women – Not in the same class as a “girl”. Slightly more sophisticated, and of an older standing, perhaps one to draw in a wider audience perhaps?

~~ X is for ~~
X-Box- Come on give me a break! X-Box is the upcoming games console also made by Microsoft. At least it’s remotely relative!

~~ Y is for ~~
You! – The person who will either love it or hate it. A bit like marmite this one; there’s no middle ground to stand on.

~~ Z is for ~~
Zebras – Well, you may think I am rambling now, however Loaded actually once did an article on zebra stripes, and the way the Americans say “zee-bra”. That’s id my memory serves me correct.


If your male, not easily offended, and like a laugh, you should enjoy reading loaded. That’s is you can see past all the big budget advertising. Bye for now.

James

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