How fast does your heart sink (Loot)

Member Name: Walli10

Product:	Loot
Date:	27/06/01 (507 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: THE place for property

Disadvantages: Can be misleading, gets expensive

when you hear the words, moving house? Not for nothing is it rated as one of the three most stressful things in life, right up there with bereavment and divorce. From leaving your old pad, finding a new one, moving all your stuff, replacing some, losing more, telling everyone... I could go on, but anyone who's been through it already knows all too well what I'm talking about, and if you haven't.... well, you've got it all to come.

So what does all this have to do with loot? Quite simply, the only reason I've known people to buy it is to find a new home. Loot is published every other day in London at least, I don't know about the rest of the country: it has regional editions. It costs 1.40 and for London at least, is by far and away the best way of finding a place to live. From flatshares to six-week short lets, family houses to penthouse suites, they're all here in their thousands, and there really is no better place to look.

Not that Loot's fabulousness is evident when you first buy it. In the newsagent, you'll find a rather unprepossessing tabloid with paper that's a funny colour (a different one for each days), filled with tiny ads in cheap, easily smudged print. At first glance, they may seem to be written in a strange language: ref/dep req (references and deposit required), f/f kitchen (fully fitted), no DSS (no-one on benefits), N/S (non smoker).... the list goes on. And once you've cracked that one, there's the code stuff too.. but we'll come on to that. And then, of course, there's a website, www.loot.com, where you can find everything in the print edition to look at for free with one exception: anything added over the last two days requires a fee to view. They'll charge you £1.30 for a days access to all new ads, and you can book more days at the same time which will get you a discount. Payment is easy by card over the site, and the site is fast and well designed.

Everyt
hing in Loot is in categories, just to make things easier, usually by price. There are places to buy but most are to rent: there are sections for flats, flatshares, rooms, studios, and short lets. Within those, categories are listed by location, tho this is something Loot users are very used to being wary of. Everyone wants to sell their property, and like estate agents many Loot people are happy to bend the truth a little. Don't be surprised if Camden turns out to be Chalk Farm or Clapham to be nearer Balham. It's the postcode you really need to check, and obviously the actual street, very few of which are printed for exactly this reason.

Other tricks to beware of: a studio flat is basically a bedsit with your own bathroom, but you need to check if they're actually separate or just whacked behind a bit of plywood in the corner of your dining room. Ignore all adjectives. In particular, avoid anything described as 'compact' - even 'spacious' generally means that if you sit on the bed your feet will almost touch the opposite wall. 'Studio', as I said, generally means a room with a couple of sheets of plywood masquerading as walls at one end, with a loo and a kitchen in them.

Next stage is the calling etiquette. You need a basic checklist of things when you call: is rent exclusive or inclusive (if the former, find out what council tax is), do you have a phoneline, is the place furnished (don't assume it is if it doesn't say so in the ad) and will it take you less than four hours to get into work. 'Quiet' means that if you have a social life they'll think you're a complete degenerate, and I immediately pass over anything that says 'clean'. And if you're going for a houseshare, be prepared for the full Shallow Grave experience, and remember that they're not just looking for a new housemate, they're looking for a new Best Friend and will judge you on that basis, and will a
lso very likely faff around with shortlists and such like. They quite often take weeks to make up their mind, whereas at least with bedsits and one-bed flats they're generally available immediately.

My other main tip - and this is VERY important, is that you have to be fast. Property in London is a buyers market, and the good places go fast, and I mean in hours. If you're serious about getting a good place, you need to start early: buy Loot by 10am at the latest and get phoning right away. If you're going for house/flat shares you'll be talking usually to the people who live there, for flats often it's agents - who sometimes charge a percentage or a fee if you take a place - you need to check. If you see somewhere you like, be aware that by going away and thinking about it you'll almost certainly lose it. You can usually secure somewhere with a deposit of £50 - £100. WIth houses and flatshares, people will generally take your number and say they'll call you - but don't count on it.

You might have guessed from all this that I'm having my own little nightmare this last couple of weeks, trying to find a new flat after being unexpectedly ejected from my own. I've been looting like mad ever since, and actually have just managed to find a nice place - but not before waiting in the rain to see complete dumps, being told by estate agents that the flies in the sitting room were 'only temporary' and being told some frankly complete lies.

But I have now found my place, and the other day I found myself flipping through my now obsolete Loot to see what the rest of the paper is about... and boy was I surprised. If there is anything that is not sold through this paper, I have yet to think of kid. Kids shoes to curtains, mopeds to shops, it's all here. And there are some real deals. Electronics are especially good value, with TVs starting at around £15, tho' I have my doubts about how many of them w
ere legally obtained. I could, if I wanted, furnish my whole house this way. Its kinda like an entire gigantic jumble sale, a London only real-life e-bay. In fact, it's so good, I might just find myself buying it again, even though I hope it'll be many, many moons before I have to put myself through househunting again.

Summary: