Willies and buns found between the sheets (Marie Claire)

Name: julietta

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Product:	Marie Claire
Date:	28/08/02 (430 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Informative, Educative, Fun

Disadvantages: Up to the individual to decide

Hey, what a title folks! I figured it was about time I added something a little risqué and slightly frisky to my work. Hell, knows I’ve endeavoured to portray myself as the innocent type for long enough and anyway, in case you didn’t know, sex sells here and I’m going to jolly well move with the times. Shocker that. By the way, if you want to be completely sordid and just read the ‘willie’ section you’ll just have to scroll on your own accord – think twice if you think I’m giving you any tips because I’m too busy concentrating on the sensible stuff first so b******* (ooh hasn’t my writing got ‘edgier’ since I’ve been away?)!

I’ve decided to review this magazine as I personally think it’s a quality read and deserves positive attention. Although, I sometimes berate the omnipresence of this deepening genre of glossy magazines and their emphasis on ‘tack’ culture and advertising spend, this is a specimen that I don’t try to hide under the magazine rack as it actually offers a balanced and intelligent view on life from a female perspective. It’s less sassy than Cosmo (if you can label Cosmo as sassy that is!) and less whore than More (sorry but that magazine is nothing but a watered down porn mag (notice that all the males on this site instantly rush from their seats to rush out and buy it).

In many respects, Marie Claire is very much a global magazine. Published monthly (cover price £2.90, published by Southbank (IPC Media) and available everywhere (yeah, all good newsagents)!), it was established as early as 1937 (when it was then issued as a weekly) and currently there are 24 international editions published around the planet. Its core target market reader, reflected through any close inspection of its editorial and advertising content, seems to be the late twentysomething through to the late-thirtysomething (and beyond) female. Adding o
n to this, the magazine is very much geared to the ‘middle class and upward’ type reader or (by stuffing the terminology) those with a bit of a social conscience and with a decent amount of cash to splash. If the combined gloss and advertising calibre are anything to go by then this magazine is certainly shifting in the direction of projecting desired affluence and a real feel for luxury or how else do you justify a fashion section of a magazine that thinks nothing of displaying Chanel separates at almost £2,000 quid a pop? Can you afford ‘em, chuck? This is certainly NOT Take a Break territory folks.

The ‘stand-out’ feature of Marie Claire as a lifestyle as well as fashion magazine is a constant inclusion of quality journalism from issue to issue. This publication is certainly not shy in tackling areas generally considered taboo in some other female presses and (as a contrast to its luxury fashion and lifestyle drive) has covered topics such as third world poverty (hunger and starvation), homelessness, anorexia, female genital mutilation, rape, alcohol addiction, etc., throughout previous issues. Basically things that Vogue and Tatler (dahling!) would not touch with a begging and blazing bargepole.

Concerning the current issue at hand now (‘cos I know you can’t wait for the ‘willie’ bit), I’ll give a run down of the September edition to exemplify what typical fashionista and writing fodder is generally captured between the sheets. Structure is a prerequisite here me thinks.

* EDITORIAL CONTENT *

By saying ‘editorial content’, I’m basically meaning anything apart from a fashion and beauty article as I’ll deal with them later. Editorially featured in this months issue are:


9/11: THE DAY MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER

This is an interesting article that brings together several womens' reactions to the World Trade Center atrocity.
Interestingly, women of differing creed and colour are asked the same questions pertaining to the disaster (some of them more directly affected than others) and the future of America in general. Presented in a snappy photojournalism style it captures people in their everyday life without ceremony, so to speak, and the viewpoints offer a general vision of people wanting to get on with their lives whilst demonstrating a realisation of what is now important.


I’M A GOOD CATHOLIC GIRL – JUST LIKE MADONNA

Er, no folks, that’s not actually me speaking – this is an interview with Heather Graham.


(*** This is the one folks*** - WAIT FOR IT) – &# 61615;

IS HIS A TINY PANINI OR A GREAT BIG BAGUETTE?

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this IS the willy article! Presented in descriptive and story-telling form, five men (dare to) speak about the intimate particularities of their genitalia. Folks, it’s a right laugh. Each guy in term admits to being (their words – NOT mine) - a ten incher, pierced, wide, Mr Average and er, mini sized and then describes what effect this has over their sexual performance listing all notable advantages and disadvantages. This is all fronted by a two-page introductory ‘cover’ shot of the same (brave) lads holding various bread accompaniments -baguette, bagel, ciabatta, submarine and finger roll (to categorically reflect the aforementioned qualities) over their groin regions. This is, of course, done in the best possible taste and ends up being a non-offensive, laugh-a-sentence, complete and utter giggle.

* MARRIAGE BROKE US UP *

Textually explored here is the bizarre relationship between marriage and break-up in so far that an eventual marriage between a long-term cohabiting couple will all too often end up being the deciding factor of their divorce. If you have your dou
bts then here’s a couple of facts and figures lifted from the page intended to get you thinking:

+ Three out of five cohabiting relationships will lead to marriage, but cohabitees are four times more likely to break up than married couples.

+ Divorce proceedings cannot begin in the UK until a year after marriage.

(I’m including that last fact as I admit to actually not knowing it myself!)


* IT ALL STARTED WITH A GLASS OF CHARDONNAY *

This article explores the relationship between women and alcohol. It is interesting in saying that although women think they are in control of casual social drinking, alcohol ultimately takes control of them in the long term. This piece illustrates the link between alcohol and the dangers of binge drinking, the contraction of sexually transmitted diseases and ultimately death. Obviously, an intelligent treatment in this way makes for exceedingly sobering reading where the worst case scenario is not only emphasised but also made realistic.

Although there are many more good quality articles to be found in here, of course, I clearly won’t go into them all for if I did I’d surely be here until next week not to mention spoil the fun of your own reading discoveries.

***

I said however that I would touch briefly on the other mainstays of the magazine – these being fashion and beauty. Without the distance and automatic power trip of ‘being Vogue’, Marie Claire still takes the female moral ground in running a wide base of detailed fashion and beauty coverage. Using the September issue purely as illustration again, there are 21 fashion as well as 10 specific beauty articles to be found, both aspects glossing over current trends and product news as appropriate. Happily, both take stock of the budget as well as the luxury customer with the fashion message accentuating the pull of the high street as well as the push of haute coutu
re.

Health, lifestyle, and travel articles round off the package as well as the customary ‘regular’ articles that run from edition to edition - problem pages and horoscopes fittingly fitted as standard. This issue also remains competitive by offering a free gift (a rather handy black canvassy handbag (well, I’ve seen worse) as well as by featuring various giveaways and offers between the covers.

And finally … well, there you have it – a veritable bombshell of a magazine within a nutshell or two. My final verdict would ultimately be one of recommendation as, for me at least, Marie Claire remains a realistic, intelligent and gripping read. As well as featuring the fashion and beauty glamour and gloss that all us ladies aspire to (if we choose to admit it or not!), MC doesn’t lost touch with the world at large. A read every now and then is sure to make you reflect, ponder, desire, want and aspire as well as endeavour to raise your own social conscience. And in this specific September case, of course, it’s going to make you chuckle long and hard about those willies and bread shapes I had the pleasure of mentioning earlier.

Did I say long and hard?

Absolutely. No. Pun. Intended.

Summary: