Keep the Gnome fires burning (Private Eye)

Member Name: MykReeve

Product:	Private Eye
Date:	15/02/01 (1625 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Cheap, very very funny, well-written satire

Disadvantages: Humour can be unnecessarily crude at times

I've been a regular reader of 'Private Eye' magazine for over seven years now, and have seen numerous price hikes over that time. However, at £1.20 for each fortnightly issue, 'Private Eye' still provides probably the most laughs per pound of any magazine, or indeed newspaper, on news shelves anywhere in the country. Founded in the early 1960s, kept alive by funds from Peter Cook (of Pete and Dud fame) and Richard Ingrams, and still carrying with it something of the air of that time, 'Private Eye' is undoubtedly the journalistic home of contemporary British satire. This doesn't always mean that its contents are always funny, in fact, some of the most compelling pieces of writing in the magazine, consist almost entirely of damning criticism of politicians and business people.

'Private Eye' does carry about it something of the public schoolboy comedy feel, which is unsurprising considering that the editorial team has almost continually, throughout the magazine's existence, consisted entirely of ex-public schoolboys. Peter Cook went to Cambridge, and both Richard Ingrams and the magazine's current editor, Ian Hislop, went to Oxford. The criticism could be levelled, and indeed frequently is, that the magazine is merely a voice for public schoolboys to make jibes at the expense of others. However, to say this is to somewhat miss the point. As a recent Guardian (or as the Eye would have it, Grauniad) article pointed out, "you might just as well take exception to the fact that the Voice is dominated by black people or that Gay Times employed homosexuals". Satire is a form of comedy that comes from within the establishment and pokes fun at it, generally in a tone of knowing, and not necessarily smug, superiority.

Needless to say, this attitude has won 'Private Eye' something of a reputation for court cases. Famously, in the 1970s, the magazine was virtually brought to its knees by repeated l
egal actions by the late James Goldsmith, and the pressure was continued throughout the 1980s by the late Robert Maxwell. Interestingly, some of the most protracted and hard fought libel actions that 'Private Eye' has defended itself against have not come from politicians or businessmen, but from journalists. One of the most famed of these was when then-diarist of the magazine, Auberon Waugh, said of the late Nora Beloff, one-time Guardian political correspondent, that she had been to bed with every member of Harold Wilson's cabinet, before adding, "No impropriety occurred."

'Private Eye' has attracted an impressive range of British comedians to write for it over the years, not least of which are Cook, Ingrams and Hislop themselves, who were responsible for virtually all of the hilarious cover illustrations that have graced the magazine's 1,000+ issues. Auberon Waugh wrote a regular diary column for the Eye, and Willie Rushton, John Wells, John Bird and Barry Fantoni were all regular writers for the magazine at some time.

The cover image of 'Private Eye' has, from the start, consisted of a photograph of figures in the public eye, with superimposed speech bubbles. These are often incredibly amusing, and are always based on extremely recent news.

Starting reading 'Private Eye' is not an easy task. There are a great many running jokes, that a new reader won't be party to. I'm aware of several friends who haven't read more than a few issues of the magazine because they felt frustrated by the in-jokes, and because so many figures in the news are referred to by nicknames in the magazine. To be honest, the magazine's quite readable without being aware of the jokes, and after reading it for a few weeks, you do begin to get used to the nicknames. For example, the Queen is often referred to as 'Brenda' by the magazine, Rupert Murdoch bears the nickname 'the Dirty Digger&
#39;, and one-time editor of the Sunday Times, Andrew Neill, is frequently referred to as 'Brillo Pad' (due to his unusual hairstyle).

CONTENTS

The front page of the magazine always contains a commentary from the magazine's founder, 'Lord Gnome'. Lord Gnome's column used to be written by the late Peter Cook, and remains one of the most satirical columns in the magazine, generally unreservedly criticising the nation's newspapers, particularly Maxwell titles, such as the Mirror.

Alongside Gnome's column are a series of major news stories comprising what used to be called up until 2000, the magazine's 'Colour Section' ? a reference to the fact that the magazine used to be cheaply printed in black and white throughout. Nowadays, the magazine does often have a couple of colour pages, rendering the title somewhat less ironic. Generally, items in this section of the magazine refer to major national and international stories, revealing some of the stories behind the stories, and some of the hypocritical statements that people in the public eye have made.

Regular columns in the magazine include;

- STREET OF SHAME

A series of stories about the comings and goings in the nation's newspapers. Something about the 'Street of Shame' column makes it seem like a bit of an anachronism, reading as though we were still in the gossip-filled heyday of Fleet Street, despite the fact that so many newspapers have now moved out to the Docklands area and Canary Wharf. It's also interesting that the 'Street of Shame' column occupies such a prominent position in the magazine, generally occupying page 6, reflecting the waning public interest in politics, and the shift towards an interest in public and television figures.

Current frequent targets in the 'Street of Shame' column are Piers Morgan (or rather, Moron) editor of the Mirror, and Richard Desmond, the n
otorious porn baron that recently acquires the Express Group of newspapers.

- HACKWATCH

Following on from 'Street of Shame', 'Hackwatch' is probably one of my favourite sections of the magazine. Basically, the Eye has closely monitored newspaper editorials, looking out for impressively hypocritical or contradictory passages. For example, in the week that Piers Morgan announced that he was considering submitting a complaint to the press complaints commission (PCC) because so many untrue stories had been written about him in the national press, the Eye produced a round-up of some of the successful complaints made to the PCC about inaccuracies in Morgan's paper, the Mirror. In another recent column, the Eye provided a list of self-promoting quotes from Deborah Ross's unrelentingly tedious interview column in the Independent.

- HP SAUCE

The magazine's column examining the proceedings in the Houses of Parliament, and the various governmental organisations.

- NOOKS AND CORNERS

A section of the magazine examining architecture and the associated planning permission. To be honest, I generally skip the 'Nooks and Corners' column, however, recently there have be some entertaining passages discussing Sir Norman Foster's many designs, such as the Millennium Bridge, the Millennium Dome, and the proposed "Millennium Tower" to stand on the site of the Baltic Exchange. "Piloti", the column's writer, frequently make comments on how it would seem, in the eyes of the government, that Foster and Partners can do no wrong, despite the apparent failures of these structures.

- EYE TV

'Eye TV' is another of my favourite columns, written by "Square Eyes", the column reviews several of the fortnight's new television programmes, and examines trends in television programme making, such as the recent demand for so-called 'reality' te
levision. When the 'Eye TV' column criticises programmes, it generally doesn't hold back ? a recent review of David Baddiel's 'Baddiel's Syndrome' was one of the most damning reviews I have ever read.

'Eye TV' often also frequently criticises so-called 'Birtspeak', incoherent, jargon-heavy phrases used in internal BBC documents. Although John Birt is no longer chairman of the BBC, his legacy lives on, to judge from recent quotes reproduced in the Eye, and so does the term 'Birtspeak'.

- PSEUDS CORNER

A collection of confusing and pretentious quotes from newspapers, magazines or company newsletters, selected from those sent to the magazine by readers.

- DOING THE ROUNDS

Commentary on the National Health Service, which is currently filled with discussions about the recent organ retention scandal.

- SIGNAL FAILURES

Not yet up to the level of a regular column (they haven't done a graphic for it yet!), 'Signal Failures' has appeared with distressing frequency in recent issues of the magazine, examining problems with the UK train network.

- DOWN ON THE FARM

Currently written by "Even Newer Muckspreader", who predictably succeeded "New Muckspreader" and "Old Muckspreader", 'Down on the Farm' looks at issues in farming the UK. To be honest, I don't often read the column, but there's often a lot of comments about GM food and the Food Standards Agency.

- ROTTEN BOROUGHS

One of the longest running columns, 'Rotten Boroughs' examines the disturbing amount of corruption in local government. It takes its name from the Reform Bill of 1832, and refers to boroughs which although only containing a few voters, still retained the privilege of sending a member to Parliament. 'Rotten Boroughs' frequently stirs up controversy, and seems to be one of the most influenti
al columns in the magazine, occasionally precipitating real change!

- HIGH PRINCIPALS

An infrequent column examining corruption among university, college and school staff.

- LETTERS

The letters' page of 'Private Eye' remains one of the most entertaining parts of the magazine. Every issue includes at least one "lookalike", where a reader has sent in two pictures of people in the public eye who look similar to each other, and imply that the two might be related. There are also often-amusing clippings from magazines from around the world, and "That's Life"-style photographs of signs in other countries bearing in appropriate English words.

The letters' page also provides an interesting forum for those criticised in the magazine to respond to the criticisms. Frequently, these letters are written in an equally entertaining fashion.

It's also at this point that I should mention that frequently, the magazine's sense of humour might not appeal to all. The Eye was one of the few magazines to actually poke fun at the inexplicable sense of national mourning that surrounded the admittedly tragic and shocking death of Princess Diana, which brought it considerable criticism from its readers. At one point in the mid-1990s, the Eye would include an "unsubscribe of the week" and print a letter from a disgruntled or disgusted reader who would be cancelling their subscription due to what they felt was insulting or offensive material included in the magazine. Even in the current issue there's a cartoon on the Valentines' page making tacit reference to the Alder Hey organ scandal, which is certainly in questionable taste. I guess the lesson is to be pretty thick-skinned when reading the magazine, but if you think you'd take offence at material like this, you'd probably be better advised to stay away.

- READERS' CONTRIBUTIONS

There are sever
al columns throughout the magazine, which are reliant on the readers. Probably the most popular of these is 'Colemanballs', named after David Coleman, which collects together idiotic statements that interviewers and sports commentators have made on television or radio. A new addition to this is 'Dumb Britain' collecting together inane answers that members of the public have made on quiz shows or, more commonly, in the Midday Money part of 'This Morning' with Richard and Judy.

Other columns reliant on readers' input include 'Luvvies', which reproduces pretentious and ill-informed remarks made by actors and actresses, 'Ceefux' which celebrates misprints on Teletext services, and 'Going Live' which lists occasions on which reporters have been pointlessly positioned in front of buildings relevant to news stories, but which play no part in them (such as when the BBC's political correspondent was positioned outside Number 10 on the night of the birth Leo Blair, despite the fact that neither mother nor father were at the house). 'OBN' (the Order of the Brown Nose) is awarded to examples of hideous sycophancy sent into the organ. There are also several newspaper cuttings per issue, highlighting entertaining misprints or occasions when the wrong picture has been reproduced.

- FUNNY OLD WORLD

'Funny Old World' is another of my favourite sections of the Eye. Compiled from reader contributions by Victor Lewis-Smith, it consists of three amusing stories culled from the world's newspaper.

- ST ALBION PARISH NEWS

The St Albion Parish News is a regular column written by the Reverend Tony Blair. It consists of a newsletter written by a pastiche of the Prime Minister, imagining that he were a fawning and overly enthusiastic vicar, overseeing the parish of St Albion, with the aid of the trusty Book of Common Blair. St Albion is populated by characters including Secr
etary of the Working Men's Club John Prescott, former Churchwarden, and ex-missioner to St Gerry's in Northern Island, Peter Mandelson. The St Albion Parish News column was the inspiration for a short-lived series of five-minute programmes made by ITV, starring Harry Enfield as Rev Blair and all the parishioners.

A similar column has appeared since Thatcher's time as Prime Minister, which consisted of letters from her husband Denis, entitled the "Dear Bill" letters. During John Major's time in power, the page carried "The Secret Diary of John Major aged 47 3/4", which lightly lampooned the then PM in a style not dissimilar to a certain popular series of books by Sue Townsend.

- POLLY FILLER

Polly Filler's column is another of the irregular columns in the magazine, and is an entertaining dig at the tedious and self-indulgent columnists such as Zoe Heller that bore newspaper readers with tiresomely detailed descriptions of their mundane lives.

- DIARY

The diary column at the back of 'Private Eye' is another must-read. Written each week by Craig Brown, the diary consists of a week in the life of someone in the public eye, in their style. Recent figures featured in the diary include Victoria Beckham (in conversation with Michael Parkinson), Frank McCourt, and Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned.

- LITERARY REVIEW

The Eye's 'Literary Review' consists of reviews of a couple of books, followed by a few brief news stories about the publishing industry. The reviews are generally pretty reliable, and "Bookworm" (the Eye's reviewer) is not afraid to give harsh and damning reviews where deserved. In the most recent issue, "Bookworm" sinks his teeth, in more ways than one, into Dave Pelzer's poorly-written and self-indulgent 'A Man Named Dave'.

- IN THE CITY

The Eye's column on comings and goings in the Cit
y of London.

- COMIC STRIPS

The Eye's regular comic strips are generally of a pretty high standard. These include ? 'Yobs' by Hubbard, 'The Directors' by Dredge and Rigg, 'Celeb' by Ligger, 'Young British Artists' by Birch, 'Supermodels' by Kerber, 'It's Grim Up North London' by Knife and Packer, 'Hom Sap' by Austin, 'Heath's Private View' and 'Snipcock and Tweed'. Of these, only 'Hom Sap' is not consistently funny, but the rest can be relied upon for regular amusement.

- CLASSIFIEDS

There aren't many magazines in which it's worth reading the classified advertisements, but Private Eye is certainly one in which it is. Typically, in an issue of Private Eye, there'll be at least one television company researcher looking for folks to appear in a Channel 4 documentary on threesomes, or a BBC2 documentary on lost love, so if you're looking for your 15 minutes of fame, this would be a truly appalling place to start.

The 'Eye Love' lonely hearts column of the Private Eye classifieds is truly one of the most eye-opening things out there. Most worrying, however, is that many of the people advertising actually meet other people through the magazine, despite the wording of their advertisements! "FERRARI DRIVER seeks 25/30 year old female navigator for cross country exploration and weekend rallies in deepest Yorkshire. Must be equipped for speed with photograph and full service history." Oh please.

CONCLUSIONS

Despite being printed on cheap newspaper-style paper, and only being 36 pages long (11 of which usually carry advertisements), 'Private Eye' is well worth the £1.20 price tag. It's consistently funny, though new readers should be warned to expect several regular in-jokes, which might take some time to get used to. Also, some might find the magazine's sense of humour to be
unnecessarily vulgar and insensitive at times, so be prepared for some politically incorrect comedy. Some 1,000 issues in, 'Private Eye' looks set to stay on newsagent shelves for years to come!

Summary: