I want my Chippy Tea (<3 Lancashire hotpots) (The Sun)

Member Name: iamasadlittleboy

Product:	The Sun
Date:	28/01/08 (275 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Chip paper, cheap fire lighters, Possible to use for toilet paper

Disadvantages: It's not a newspaper, Badly written...just bad

Don't we all love chips, greasy artery filling fatty chips full to the brim with the stuff that'll kill us eventually, and if not it'll make us so fat that we'll want to kill ourselves after just 1 more portion of their delectable taste, their almost orgasmic feeling in your mouth. Well you know what all chip shops need right, other than potatoes, suasages, fish and curry...paper. Well it's not a wonder that when I last purchased chips from my local chip shop I saw three letters at the top of the page (near the date and page number) that struck me as somewhat a reason for the specific paper to be produced. "SUN"...finally a use for this waste of ink and tree.

Yes thats right, the suns best use is for wrapping up chips, as it's in no way shape or form a "Newspaper" as obviously seen in last Fridays cover story "You've ruined it" about Cheryl Tweedy and Ashley Cole (Should that be "Mr and Mrs Cole"?), after the Former Arsenal player slept with some random girl (I'm not calling him a Chelsea player until I see him play for them).

Some French bloke almost borked (yes, borked) the world economy and yet these two "celebrities" are on the front page. Well I know which I'd rather know about, and which should be left to the gossip magazines (yes I aknowledge The Sun is basically a glorified glossy magazine...without the gloss). As I'm too bone idle to go and get the thing to have a browse through I'll try to remember what was in it in order...rubbish, garbage, crap, Jeremy Clarkson (almost worth the price alone), Soem TV critic who has his head up arse, crap, crap, crap, Tv listing's, Agony Aunt (again proof of the gossip magazine it seems to wish it was) Sport rumours...the end.

So 30p to read Clarksons rants and have Ian Hyland (the TV critic) try to convince you theirs lots of TV worth watching...*coughwankercough*. Oh and I forgot the topless girl, which sadly was missing from last fridays paper...actually sadly? I'm on the internet, I can get hardcore anal porn with 2 lesbians, why am I that bothered about some daft blonde not being topless in the Sun?...oh thats right, I'm not.

So who is The Sun aimed at?...Well those with the intellectual expertise of knowing how the life and times of The Coles effects world politics and has a far more widening reach than something the Times may have reported. It's obviously aimed at the very smartest of those, those with too much time on their hands and of course, how could I forget, chip shop owners and those in need of toilet roll when the last roll has been used...sadly in this case I seem to think your arse would only become dirtier.

So for those with toilet roll and chip shops you can only have 2 other reasons to buy it.
1-To help light a fire, it would appear 1 newspaper could well make enough "fire lighters" to light two fires, so therefore you could have 60 fire lighters for the sum of (crap I can't work it out, it's poisoned my mind), oh thats right £3.
2-To let little boys (sadlittleboy not included) see some boobs before they have sprogs in their teenage years like most of the things bloody readers.

Aimed at the hapless, to be even more helpless.



For those wanting to get the reference to the headline of the article "Chippy T" by The Lancashire Hotpots can be found at: http://www.myspace.com/thelancashirehotpots

P.s. Yeah I'm a whore to comedy music, but I need to plug them somewhere.

Summary: Ignore the paper, just give Lancashire Hotpots a shot >_>